One Night
by Flames101
Summary: No one would ever believe he'd agree to it. When Hailey suggests an annual day of freedom from their marital vows, Hotch does. The first two years, he spends the day alone; but, all that changes when Jennifer Jareau walks into his life. Now, one night a year is not nearly enough for them. 2-time 2012 Profiler's Choice Award winner for Best JJ/Hotch and Best M-rated fic.Ch 10 is new
1. Prologue: 2003

**A/N:** Hey all! Here's a new Jotch story from me. The premise for this story was given to me by Jekkah. Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Prologue:**

* * *

_**~ March 2003 ~**_

"What?" Hotch exclaimed sharply, his head practically snapping as it turned to shoot his wife an incredulous look.

Her lips practically disappeared as she gave him a grimace. "You heard what I said, Aaron," Hailey replied, voice too calm. "I think we should consider seeing other people."

"You want a divorce?" he asked tentatively, not comprehending what she was asking.

It was true that more often of late any conversation they'd have would turn into a shouting match. But he had promised himself that he'd try harder. He'd do everything he could to make Hailey happy. Now, here she was, asking for a divorce?

She shook her head furiously. "No, not a divorce."

He would laugh at the ridiculousness of the current situation if it wasn't for the fact that it was his life. He let out a suffering-sigh instead. "Hailey, I'm lost. _What _exactly do you want?"

She held out her hands in front of her, palms out, asking for him to wait. "Once a year, just once, we're free to do whatever we like…"

He stared at her blankly. He should have been surprised. He should have been wondering where the hell she'd gotten an idea like that from. But before this conversation, he had been sure she was cheating on him. So, nothing surprised him, not anymore.

What could he say? This was a last ditch attempt to save their rocky marriage. If he said no, would she now ask for that divorce?

"Fine," he agreed, voice monotone.

Her face let up momentarily. He pretended he wasn't sickened by that, by the eagerness he saw on her face.

She began to ponder dates, make a list of rules… He'd just agreed to sharing his wife once a year, how could you come up with rules that could make that sound the least bit ok?

He sat there pondering what had just occurred in the past five minutes. Hotch couldn't figure out how asking if they had any milk left had gotten them to this point in time. It just didn't fit.

* * *

Well I hope you're intrigued by the prologue. It's a short little set up piece for what's to come. I hope you'll let me know what you think of this chapter. Thanks!


	2. 2005

**A/N:** Hey all! Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter and sorry for the lateness of this update. I had the first part of this done soon after I posted the first chapter, but the second half of this story gave me a lot of trouble. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 1:**

* * *

_**~ April 2005 ~**_

Hotch sat at the bar of a pub he frequented once in a while. It was a place he liked to go to after a long, hard case to grab a quick drink and unwind before heading home. It was also the place he spent every April 8 at for the past two years. Tonight fit the bill of both.

He was tired and exhausted, having just spent two weeks in the remote parts of Louisiana. And all he wanted to do was go home to his own bed and lie down. That would not be happening tonight. Instead, it would be yet another hotel room for him.

His stomach churned at the thought. Well, it churned at more than just the thought of another hotel room. But he didn't dwell on what could potentially make him sick.

He'd agreed to this absurdity and now he had to deal with it. At least it seemed to be working, Hailey was less frequently mad at him. That was a plus. It made living with her a lot easier. But he shuddered to think at why she was so cheerful all the time.

"Hotch?"

Startled out of his thoughts, he searched for the person who knew his name. No one knew his name here—or so he thought—that's how he liked it. The anonymity. Somehow, he thought that if someone knew his name they'd automatically guess at the reason why he spent every April 8 there for the past couple of years.

His eyes landed on the petite blonde who'd started working for him and his team two months ago—Jennifer, though she insisted her friends should call her JJ. He had yet to start calling her that.

"JJ?" he blurted out in surprise.

She didn't comment on his slip, but he could see in the brightness of her blue eyes and the small smile she gave him that she was pleased by it.

He noticed that she'd gone home to change. She was wearing a knee length black skirt, with an entirely too enticing thigh slit and a red shimmery top. He, on the other hand, was still in his suit. She continued to stare at him, the smile faded, and now he could see the worry on her face, for him.

She walked purposefully towards him, hopping into the stool next to him. She dropped her clutch onto the counter, settling in as she gave the bartender her order. Only when she had a drink in front of her did she speak.

"Hotch, what are you doing here?" she asked incredulously. "You should be at home, resting; we've had a hard week…"

He wondered why _she _wasn't at home. He was thinking about her as his mouth suddenly moved. "I can't go home."

Her glass was halfway to her lips when she dropped it back to the counter to eye him carefully. "Why not?" Suspicion crept into her voice, distress too. Did she know there was a reason to worry for him? Probably not. Maybe that's why he answered her question truthfully.

"Hailey's not at home…"

She turned to face him, giving him her full attention. "What's going on, Aaron?"

The use of his first name shocked him into speaking. He found himself telling her everything. How Hailey had suggested a night of freedom from their marital vows to spice up their marriage, and he'd agreed to it if only to keep her happy. How he had spent the past two nights of "freedom" being confined to this bar. It was one of their rules to never bring anyone home, but he still avoided their home on these nights. It felt wrong to be there when this was happening.

It all poured out of him to Jennifer, JJ now. Someone he'd known for a couple of months and now, apparently, called friend. No one else knew. Not even Gideon.

She let him speak without interrupting, listening without judgment. It was a quality he admired in her while working. It was a comfort to know that it was part of her true persona.

JJ looked at him with those blue eyes that he'd spent one too many occasions wondering how eyes could be that blue; there was no pity in them, no embarrassment for him, only a look he could decipher to be wonder.

Her hand was suddenly on his forearm. He looked down at it when she began to rub small circles into his suit jacket. She'd never touched him before.

"Aaron," she began, voice weighty. "Why don't we leave?"

"We?" he choked out.

She nodded her head. "One night," she said gravely. "I'd like one night with you."

He couldn't really fathom what she was saying, but he found himself nodding his head nonetheless.

"Ok," she added, giving him another happy smile.

She stood up and waited for him to follow suit. Still not thinking, he got up and she began to leave the bar.

It hit him halfway to the door that he was on his way out with his media liaison for one night of letting go. He thought he should feel guilt, he thought that this should feel wrong. But when he searched deep down inside all he felt was awe. He was about to spend one night with JJ.

* * *

JJ had known something was up with him. She'd been watching him of late and he wasn't as calm and composed as he usually was. He'd recently even snapped once at a lead detective on one of their cases. He _never_ did that.

She'd known him for a little more than two months. And had had a crush on him for just as long. She glanced over at him sitting a silent passenger in her SUV, his profile just as breathtaking as when she watched him head on. The minute she'd walked into the interview and found him sitting there she'd been instantly attracted to him. She was relieved when she found out that her attraction to him was more than merely physical, he was a good honest man to boot. His dedication to the job they did was awe-inspiring and warranted her admiration.

She'd been waiting and hoping and feeling guilty for waiting and hoping that whatever funk he was in had to do with his marriage. She just never thought it would be like this.

At a red light she took a moment to look at him long and hard. She wanted him that was for sure. You could say that she practically followed him to the bar tonight, after she'd carefully and casually asked Gideon if he knew if Hotch relaxed on his days off.

When she'd come into the bar, she'd had no idea that she'd actually find him there; she'd hoped, but she hadn't really thought she'd see him and now she was driving them to her home for the night.

He suddenly turned to look at her, a considering look on his face. She felt her cheeks redden at being caught staring.

"It's green," he let her know gently.

"Oh," she said in surprise.

She resumed driving and he resumed the silence.

A few minutes later, she heard him let out a sigh. "Are you sure about this?" he asked her abruptly.

"Yes," she answered simply.

"JJ," he said, voice strained. "This is all I can give you, this one time. I don't have much more than that right now."

She nodded her head firmly, not looking at him. "This is what I want," she replied.

And it was. Being with him right now, in the car, it felt like they were on their way to something, even if it was just for pretend.

* * *

Hotch followed one step behind her as she lead the way up the path to her front door. On the car ride over he'd had a million chances to ask her to turn around and take him back to his car. But, he hadn't been able to make his mouth work, even though he knew that telling her that this wasn't going to happen would have been the right thing to do. And he was all about doing the right thing.

But, the part that was making it so hard was that this moment, here with her, felt right. There was a light in the blonde's eyes that attracted him to her. It'd been a long time since he'd spent time with a woman that lived life so exuberantly, like he knew JJ did. She loved life, and so far hadn't let their job get her down. He liked being around her for that reason. But it wasn't the only reason.

Hotch was physically attracted to her too. He felt his body stirring whenever she was near. He'd always _just_ managed to control himself, but he realized that right now he didn't have to. That she probably didn't want him to.

He watched her put her key to her front door, turn the door knob and push it open. She was about to take a step inside when he suddenly grabbed hold of her arm, gently turning her to face him. "Wait," he said urgently.

She stared up into his face, perplexed. "Yes…"

His hand reached up to touch her chin gently, tilting it upwards. He bent low; he needed to know… Her eyes fluttered to his lips and back to his eyes. She wanted this, wanted him to do this.

Hotch closed the distance between them, touching his lips to hers. The softness of her mouth shocked him, overwhelming his senses and he wondered if her mouth had ever kissed someone before. It felt that new. Her full lips were ones to take his time with, to treat tenderly, and gently, but she had other ideas. He heard her whimper into the kiss before pushing her lips against his more urgently. He understood what she wanted, he let his mouth gently suck on her lower lip before using his teeth to scrape along the delicate flesh, she moaned into the kiss then.

Pulling away from her a minute later was a very hard thing to do, but he did. Looking down into her eyes, he was struck by how dark they'd become. He realized that it was desire for him that caused the lustful glint in her eye.

Knowing she wanted him as much as he suddenly desired her fueled him on. They walked inside together, swinging the door shut behind them. Speedily, he pulled JJ's smaller body to his, pressing her soft curves to his hard length. She gasped a little, eyes widening, just before he crashed his mouth over her swollen lips.

He let his tongue trace along her bottom lip, urging her to open for him and she did. His tongue swept into her mouth like a whirlwind, deepening the kiss, the intensity of the moment. He felt JJ's hands fist against his chest, grasping hold of him, urging him ever closer.

Hotch pushed her further into the house, unsure of where they were going, only sure that he needed to touch her desperately, to know her, to memorize her, because that was all he'd have until next time.

Struck by the thought of this happening again, he pulled back once again. No, this couldn't happen again and he needed to know that she really knew that. Because whatever they were doing right now, he knew one thing, this wasn't fair to her. Looking into her eyes, he could see nothing past the anticipation of the moment right now. No expectations, no demands. Just the moment.

* * *

He'd paused again and JJ had to wonder if he was about to put an end to this, to her fantasy come to life. She knew he couldn't give her more than this, but that was ok. Because there was always the hope for the future.

"Aaron," she said his name quietly, hoping to reassure him of her intentions.

He nodded once, understanding her silent words. She took his hand and continued to lead him further into her home, to her bedroom. A room that had seen no one but her since moving into it almost three months ago. She'd been saving it for just the right time.

"JJ," he murmured from behind her.

She turned around to see the pure need for her written plainly on his face. She held her breath at the sight she thought she might never see again. All these months, watching him, hoping he'd turn his gaze on her and finally it was happening.

"Undress me, Aaron," she requested passionately.

His eyes widened in surprise, but he wasn't slow to comply. He closed the distance between them, his hands quickly finding the hem of her shirt. His fingers tickled at the skin of her stomach, causing a shiver to go down her spine.

The red sparkly shirt she'd so painstakingly picked out with him in mind was quickly lifted above her head and tossed aside. Hotch's eyes practically glowed with hunger in the darkened room as he took in her uncovered skin. She had on a red lacy bra, but she knew its see-through-ness left little to the imagination.

She felt her nipples harden at his hungry look and she was eager for his hands and mouth to be on her. She didn't have to wait long, his left hand came up to palm her right breast, squeezing the soft mound, before flicking his thumb over the hardened peak. When his head bent low to suck the covered bud into his mouth, her rapidly increasing breath hitched, and she threw her head back to moan out her approval.

"Hotch… Aaron," she groaned. "I need… I need more…"

He let go of her momentarily and she felt his fingers dance around her back, unhooking the scrap of material so as to push it off her shoulders. When his mouth closed around her breast this time she cried out at the sharp pleasure.

His kisses didn't stop there, he was suddenly kneeling in front to her, trailing kisses and licks down her chest to her abdomen. She groaned at his touch.

_This is it,_ she thought, breathlessly.

JJ reveled in the feel of his lips and tongue working magic on her skin, dipping into her navel briefly before trailing down further. When his lips touched the inside of her right leg, she felt the touch as if it were a lightning bolt.

"Sit down, JJ," Hotch said firmly.

She backed up on shaky legs to sit on the edge of her bed, he followed her, only to grasp hold of her briefs and pull them down. She was fully exposed to him now. Looking into his eyes, she could see that he wanted her. She shimmied back on the bed to lie against the pillows.

It took him but a moment to rid himself of his clothes. JJ had seconds to take in the beauty of his body, from the light dusting of hair across his smooth chest that led a path down, to the bottom of his feet, before he was climbing onto the bed to lean over top of her.

She reached out to him, hands going behind his back, as his lips came back to dance over hers. And then he was there, pushing forward, inside of her and she was gasping out at the sheer harmony of the moment. Tears came to her eyes; tears of bliss, of happiness, of hope for the future.

* * *

Hotch stared down at the blonde head that lay on his bare chest. JJ's fingers traced random patterns into his smooth skin. Earlier that day, they'd been disembarking from the jet, on their way home to their own lives and now… here they were. How did they go from that to this?

He let out a sigh. _God, this could get complicated._

JJ lifted her head off of his chest to stare at him worriedly. "What is it?" she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.

"Nothing…" he replied. "I should probably go…"

"All right…" she said, voice hesitant. She moved off of him, sitting up, taking part of the sheet with her to cover herself. "But, you know you don't have to… we said one night; night's not over yet…"

He sat up too, giving her a hard stare. _This_ was hard. He'd accepted that Hailey had wanted to do this, never thinking he, himself, would want to, too. And now that he'd had his freedom, with JJ of all people, how did you go back from that? How could he give her up?

"JJ—" he began, but she cut him off.

She held up her hands to either side of her. "I know, I remember, one night and one night only…"

He let out another sigh. "I'm sorry, JJ." This was not how she deserved to be treated. She deserved to be loved and cherished. He just couldn't be that person right now.

"Don't be," JJ assured. "I wanted this remember."

He nodded, tearing his gaze away from her too bright blue eyes, feeling unsure still.

"Hey," she said gently, moving in closer so that they were hip to hip. "You going to be ok?"

His eyes shot up to meet hers, surprised by her question. Of course he was going to be all right. He had a wife; a life… sure, Hailey had initiated this seeing other people thing, but this was temporary. He was sure it would end soon.

But, looking into JJ's eyes, how deep and soulful they watched him, he knew JJ cared for him. He had to wonder, when the last time Hailey looked at him with that same gaze was. Would it end soon? Could he and Hailey go back to normal?

"Yeah…"

JJ grimaced at his unsure tone. "I don't like to see you unhappy, Aaron…" She leaned forward and pressed a kiss into his lips. Pulling back, she lingered close, foreheads practically touching. "I know this was one night, and I know you're going back to her, but please, just think about—"

She cut herself off. Stopping mid-sentence, as a pained look overcame her face.

"Think about what?" he urged. He had a feeling she was about to say something life changing and he realized he really wanted to hear what she had to say.

"Nothing," she finished, shaking her head. "It's not the right time…"

He let out a sigh. She was probably right, so he let it go for now.

"So…" he started. "What are we going to do when we go in on Monday?"

"Act like us," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "You, your usual stoic, determined self, and I'll be—"

"—caring and warm, like normal," he finished for her.

She laughed. "Yeah, guess so."

He cupped her face with one hand, kissing her this time. "Thank you, JJ, for this."

"Anytime," she said lightly.

And he knew she meant it.

* * *

Well that's it for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one as well. Let me know what you think.

Thanks to everyone who's read and to those who have reviewed: **JustCallMeMarly; MarkandLexiefan** _(they do rule!); _**AJ-JJ** _(lol. Thx!)_; **whimsical-one-ga; jekkah** (_thx again for letting me borrow the idea. Hope you're liking)_; **whiteswan; HansonFanGermany; and smorgan.**

I'll try to update soon. See you then.


	3. 2006

**A/N:** Hey all! Just wanted to quickly say thanks for the great response to this story, you guys are awesome! And a quick reminder that this story is rated M (nc-17 on the writer's coffee shop) for sexual content, and she be read by mature audiences only. (A more detailed version, by the way, is housed at thewriterscoffeeshop . com under the same penname, Flames101, for those who'd like to give it a read).

Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! Thanks!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 2: **

* * *

**~ March 2006 ~**

JJ sat alone in her office at her desk; she was attempting to pick a new case for her team. A stack of potentials already lay in a neat pile on her over-crowded desktop. Problem was she needed to run a few things by Hotch before she ultimately chose their next destination, and at the moment she was categorically avoiding him.

Letting out a sigh, she dropped her pen from her fidgeting hand; instead, her eyes darted yet again to her desk calendar. One day in particular popped out at her, as if it had been circled in red sharpie, April the eighth; it was just nine short days away.

Her brain unconsciously conjured up an image of her boss. And it wasn't long after when even more images, namely those from the night they'd slept together, popped into her head, as well. _It was a slippery slope… _she thought, content in remembering for the moment.

Somehow, they'd managed to stay professional after their tryst a year ago. In fact, they'd become friendlier, if anything. He was still his stoic, serious self, but something had changed between them.

So, why was she avoiding him, then? Because of just that reason, April the eighth _was_ just nine days away. And much to her dismay, JJ was finding it increasingly difficult to look at him and not think about what they'd done together that night so long ago. It was practically all she could think about, whenever his dark chocolate gaze settled on her, doing it again… and again… and again…

JJ dropped her head into her hands, groaning out loud, "Don't go there, JJ. They're happy together, don't forget that."

She pulled herself back up; thinking about Hailey and Hotch together was a sobering thought. She was being ridiculous, of course. Hadn't she told him that she hated to see him unhappy? She wanted this for him, to be happy. And he was, just without her. JJ couldn't help it when her face fell at that thought.

Exhaling her troubled breath, she grabbed the files off her desk and stood up. She was going to go with her earlier conviction, she _was_ being ridiculous. So he was happy and about to have a baby, congratulations to him, that didn't mean she couldn't be content either. Or that she had to avoid him like the plague every April. They were both adults after all.

Stepping out of her office, she was determined to act natural. Hey, she'd done it for almost a year, what were a few days more of pretending that the anniversary of the best night of her life wasn't approaching.

"JJ?"

Startled out of her thoughts, JJ glanced behind her to see Elle standing there, watching her curiously.

"I was just on my way to see if you wanted to get lunch," Elle let her know. "We got a case?"

"Maybe… I mean, not yet," JJ replied, her response obviously jerky. Elle continued to look at her, a considering look on her face. "I mean, I'm going to talk to Hotch."

Elle changed her direction, coming to her side, abandoning the idea of lunch, JJ guessed. "Ok, well…" she trailed off as they resumed walking. "Hey, are you all right?"

They stopped in their tracks to face each other once again. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You just… seem jumpy lately. Maybe time to switch to decaf?

"Yeah, maybe," she answered calmly. On the inside though, she was fuming at herself, _For God's sake, JJ, you work with _profilers_, get a hold of yourself._

Elle left her after one more concerned look and JJ continued the short walk to her boss's, and one-time lover's, office. His door was closed, which was perfect. She had enough time to stand outside of it to compose herself. Taking a deep breath, she let loose two firm knocks.

"Come in," she heard him call out.

_Here goes nothing…_

* * *

Hotch quickly placed the calendar he'd been staring at for the past few minutes back on his desktop when the knock came at his door. He called out for whoever it was to come inside. He had to get a hold of himself, he thought firmly. But it was hard. The closer he got to the eighth the more vivid the images in his mind became.

He let out a sigh, it wouldn't do to dwell on the past, anyway, he tried to convince himself. They'd agreed to one night and one night was what they'd shared.

He had just enough time to take in a deep breath before the door swung open. Surprised by his guest, the deep breath he'd just taken whooshed out of him quickly.

"JJ!" he exclaimed, eyes wide, as he took in her sudden presence, as if she were conjured up from his thoughts.

"Is… is this a bad time?" she asked unsurely; her cheeks had a red tint to them.

"Sorry," he quickly amended. "Come in. You just… you surprised me, that's all…"

She nodded, holding his gaze a minute longer than necessary. There was something there in those blue depths that he longed to reach out and touch, something that called out to him. But he didn't even know where to begin. He gestured for her to come in and have a seat. And she did so.

"Uh…" she began absently.

He nodded for her to continue. And her cheeks reddened even more as she shook her head. "Sorry," she murmured, looking down into her lap before meeting his gaze again. "I've got a couple of cases I wanted to run by you, if that's ok…"

_Cases… of course…_ That's why she was here in his office. She was definitely not there because in nine days it just happened to be April the eighth.

"Go ahead," he allowed.

He let out a mental sigh, as he listened with one ear, answering at the appropriate times. He allowed his mind to wander; he couldn't stop thinking about the time they shared together. It had been so beautiful and loving and so different from any of the experiences he'd shared with his wife, at least recently that is.

"So?" she prompted.

"I agree with your assessment," Hotch answered, business-like. "The case in Albany seems to be escalating. Consult with the lead detective; see if there are any new leads. We'll leave first thing tomorrow."

She nodded her head, pulling the files back into her lap. She looked happy suddenly and he knew that, in part, it had been because she'd been right. She gave him a polite smile and got up to go.

"JJ," he called her back abruptly.

He intended on letting her know that she was doing a fantastic job, that's all. However, when she turned back around with wide, anxious eyes, he knew he couldn't not say something about what they'd shared.

"Are we just going to ignore the humongous pink elephant in the room?" he asked her, chuckling lightly.

She hugged the files to her chest, looking left and then right as if searching for an escape route.

"JJ," he softened his voice. "I think we can—"

"How's Hailey, Hotch?" she quickly blurted out.

He frowned back at her in response; his sudden distaste was more out of the mention of his _dear _wife, then at her abrupt change of topic.

"She's… all right, I guess," he answered lamely. "But, JJ, I want to talk about—"

"Let's not do this, Aaron," she interrupted again. Her eyes softened to match her tone. "You're married. And your wife is having a baby. The two of you must be very happy right now." She paused. "That's what we should be talking about."

He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head and quickly fled his office.

Hotch stared after her. So, this was how it was going to be… _Oh sure, he was plenty happy…_

* * *

**~ April 8, 2006 ~**

JJ shot a worried glance Hotch's way. Hotch sat alone, at the other end of the hotel bar, nursing a cup of some sort of hard liquor. She was concerned because this was the exact behavior she'd seen from him a year ago today. And it got her thinking… Surely Hailey wasn't sticking to their one-night arrangement… not in her present condition…

"Don't you think we should go over there?" JJ murmured out loud to no one in particular.

"Nah uh," came Morgan's eloquent reply. "That's a man who wants to do some forgetting, alone."

"Case must have hit him harder than we thought," Reid commented.

JJ glanced at her two teammates distractedly. They weren't giving Hotch's current condition a second thought. Why would they? They didn't know exactly what today was. What it meant to Hotch and Hailey, and even to herself. They didn't know that if what she suspected was true, then this day was killing him.

Morgan downed the last of his drink and placed the glass noisily back on the counter. "I think we should head to bed. If this storm clears up tonight, we'll be out of here first thing tomorrow."

Reid nodded his head, getting up to follow. JJ couldn't move, she didn't want to go up to the room she shared with Elle. She wanted to go over to Hotch, put her head on his shoulder and tell him that everything would be all right.

A hand on her shoulder drew her attention away from the man she craved. She looked up to see Morgan watching her concernedly.

"Hey," he said softly. "It's no use. When he gets like that, the best thing to do is give him space. He'll thank you for it."

She let out a sigh, nodding her head. She didn't agree, of course, but she probably already let on too much. It was time to let it go and head upstairs just like Morgan suggested.

With one last look at Hotch, she said, "You're probably right."

* * *

JJ sat on her twin bed, her legs stretched out before her, crossed at the ankle, fully clothed. A remote in her hand, she aimlessly flipped through the channels of the TV set. The volume was muted due to her already fast asleep roommate. It didn't matter anyways; she didn't think she'd be able to concentrate on the TV even if she could hear what was being said.

Frustrated with everything and not being able to sleep, she stood up to look out the window. It was still pouring outside, had been since earlier that afternoon. At the rate it was coming down there was no way they'd be flying home the next day. She watched the drops drip down the window pane, trying to find the calm she usually found in rainy days. Instead, all she felt was restless.

She let out a sigh, reaching a hand out to touch the cool glass, hoping its coolness would soothe her soul. But she had a feeling only one thing would settle her frazzled nerves.

"Aaron," she whispered into the quietness of the room.

Elle stirred in the bed behind her, but JJ didn't worry; from experience, she knew that her fellow teammate could sleep through a hurricane. JJ knew that she could probably go and come back long before Elle ever noticed.

That settled it. JJ grabbed her room key, pocketing it, and headed for the door. She needed to go to him. Needed to see that he was all right. She wouldn't be able to sleep until it was done.

She stopped briefly at the door, looking back at Elle to make sure she really was deep under. Satisfied, she slipped out the door and into the dimly lit hallway.

* * *

Hotch loosened his tie, irritated beyond belief. How could everything just be so wrong? At least he was here and not back in Quantico, he mused; he'd never taken a case to be a blessing, rightfully so, but this one couldn't have had better timing.

Hailey had seen him off earlier in the week and instead of telling him, 'be safe, hurry back,' etc., she'd gone off on how it was perfect that he'd be out of town for their free day. He hadn't had the stomach to ask her why it would be so perfect. He'd just assumed they'd be skipping it this year due to her present condition. Apparently not.

Angrily, he balled up his tie and threw it across the room. _What the hell was he still doing with her?_ he allowed himself to think for the first time.

A knock at his door brought him out of his thoughts.

"What the—" he said to himself. He glanced at the clock to see that it was one am.

He took the few steps to the door and swung it open. There, standing before him, was his very own media liaison. "JJ?" he said in surprise.

"Hi," she said sheepishly. She stood there, staring back at him, until she began to squirm under his scrutiny. "Can I come in?"

Wordlessly, he held the door open for her and she strolled right in. It took him a second more for him to move. He shut the door behind them and turned to face her. He was struck by the concern he found on her face.

With two swift, long strides, she stood before him. She continued to astonish him when she reached a hand out to cradle his cheek. Her warmth radiated from her to him and suddenly he forgot why he was ever angry in the first place. All that mattered was that she was here, now.

His hand came up to cover her hand on his cheek. He took that same hand and brought it palm up to his lips. He watched her visibly shiver at his gesture.

A look passed across her eyes, one that he couldn't decipher and then she was pulling away from him. She took a few steps to his curtained window, distancing herself from him. She pushed them aside and stood there to watch the storm. He stared at her back, puzzled.

"She's with someone tonight," JJ stated, matter-of-fact.

_Oh yeah, that's why he was mad._ "Yes," he said tersely. And then, as if she'd broken the dam, he let out exactly what he was thinking. "Can you believe it? She's six months pregnant and she still gives a damn about sleeping with some guy"

JJ turned to face him with sad eyes. "I'm sorry, Hotch. I though you two would be happy now… I mean, the baby…"

"Happy?" he scoffed. He could hear how harsh he sounded and he knew he should tone it down. JJ had done nothing wrong and did not deserve the brunt of his anger. "I don't think I even know the meaning of the word anymore."

She closed the distance between them, no sign of that earlier look in her eyes. All he could see there, now, was an ache for him, a desperate look. He could see that his pain caused her pain. Here was a woman who truly cared for him. And yet he couldn't offer her anything in return.

JJ pulled him in for a hug. He took solace in the feel of her arms around his body as he sunk into her, allowing himself this small comfort from his messed up life.

"You know what the worst part is," he murmured into her golden strands. He inhaled the scent of her coconut-orchard shampoo, taking strength from her presence. "I… I don't even know…" he choked on the words and he felt her hand caress his back in attempt to soothe him. "I don't know if the… if the baby is even mine… Oh God, JJ, what if he's not mine…"

She pulled back in his embrace so that she could look him in the eye. "Aaron, she's only six months along… it's not possible… unless you think she's—"

She stopped herself short, not finishing what they were both thinking. Hailey, he suspected, was cheating on him. If this baby wasn't his… he'd be utterly devastated because he already loved the little boy he knew they were having completely.

"Aaron," JJ called him out of his dismal thoughts. "He's yours," she said firmly.

"How do you know?"

"Because… Hailey may be a number of things, but I can't believe she can be so obviously cruel to lead you on like that… he's yours, Aaron. He's your baby," she answered, giving his cheek a kiss. "You're going to be a father." She kissed his other cheek. "A good daddy… the very best. Aaron, be happy…"

She looked into his eyes, urging him to be happy with those majestic blue orbs. _God,_ he thought, _she was beautiful, body and soul._ His hand came up to cup her face, letting his thumb trace over her bottom lip. She closed her eyes, savoring the touch. When she kissed the pad of his thumb, he removed his hand, wanting his lips to be the receiver of the sacred touch.

The second his lips touched hers it was like all his troubles suddenly melted away. JJ moaned into the kiss, pressing back just as fervently. Without breaking apart, his hands moved to the buttons of her blue blouse. One by one, they came undone until he was able to slide the material off her shoulders.

He pressed the palm of his hand to the small of her back as his kisses trailed across her jaw down the delicate column of her neck.

"Ah…" she moaned out her approval, as he sucked, licked at her pulse point. "Aaron," she gasped out. "I need you to know…"

Her speech was cut short when he reached a hand up to palm one covered breast. He flicked a thumb over a hardened peak, eliciting an ego-boosting groan from her lips.

"I need you to know," she tried again. "I didn't come here… tonight… for this…"

He lifted his head from the valley between her breasts. He knew JJ wasn't Hailey. JJ was sweet, almost innocent. "One night," he murmured.

A small smile came to her lips. "One night," she agreed, just before capturing his lips with her own.

She took over then, slowly pushing him back towards the bed without breaking the delicious kiss. When the back of his legs hit the edge of the bed, she pulled back, only to push him to sit down on the bed.

There was no hesitation on her part. She reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head, leaving his bare torso to her splaying hands. Her touch scalded him as her hands explored the plane of his chest. Kneeling in front of him, her lips followed the path of her hands. When her tongue darted out to lick at one hardened nipple, he groaned out her name, "JJ…"

Her hands strayed down further, grazing his hardness through the cover of his pants. God, he was ready to burst. Her small hands made deft work of his belt buckle, and zipper. And the next thing he knew he was lifting his hips up off the bed so she could tug the fabric down his legs.

That done, he suddenly realized he was completely bare before her. He looked at her, there, between his legs. She returned his gaze from beneath heavy, sultry lashes. _Oh man, she looked… completely kissable._

When she leaned forward and closed her lips around him, he gasped out, "JJ, oh…"

She took him into her mouth further, the suction of her lips around his hard length, too delicious for words. He arched into her touch as his hands fisted the blanket of the bed.

He reveled in the feel of her mouth wrapped around him, moving up and down, sucking him deep into the cavern of her mouth.

"Oh God… JJ," he moaned, as her hand went to squeeze at the base of his member. "I can't… I can't take much more… I need you… I need to be in you…"

She let him loose promptly. His eyes met hers and he could see she shared his hunger. Quickly, her clothes joined his on the floor and the next thing he knew she was climbing onto his lap, straddling his bare hips. One hand on his shoulder, the other went between their bodies to take hold of his hardened member. She guided him inside her, her eyes never leaving his as she slid on top of him.

"Ah… Aaron," she let out huskily, feeling every inch of him inside of her. "Move…"

He did as told, thrusting up, meeting her downwards motion. They rocked together back and forth, wordlessly, eyes locked, breaths coming out in short pants.

Hotch, nearing his breaking point, flipped them over so JJ's back was to the mattress. Her legs wound their way around his back, holding him to her tightly. He pushed into her faster, harder than before, until not very long later they both cried out their release.

* * *

JJ lay contently against Hotch's shoulder, his am wrapped deliciously around her waist. In a move similar to the last time they'd been together she trailed her fingers along his bare chest. This time, however, he took hold of that wandering hand, entwined their fingers together, before bringing her knuckles to his lips. She nearly melted at the tender gesture.

"This is nice," he murmured into the quiet air.

"Mm hmm," she agreed, turning her head to place a kiss into his shoulder before he met her lips for another kiss. It was like she couldn't get enough of him and she had no clue what she was going to do come the next day.

They stayed like that, silent, sharing little touches that led to more heart-stopping kisses and eventually to making love one more time that night before JJ whispered, "I should go back to my room… Elle…"

He nodded his head in understanding, but made no move to let her go.

"Aaron," she said again.

"Stay a bit longer," he said finally. "I… I'm in no hurry for this night to end. Are you?"

"No," she answered. Truthfully, she never wanted any of it to end. But she knew he wasn't ready to give her more. She needed to take what she could get. "No, I'm not…"

He tightened his hold around her almost possessively. But, he needn't worry; she'd given herself over to him a year ago.

It was when the sun started to creep in through the open curtains that she finally made a move to leave. Hotch was fast asleep by then, so she carefully moved out of his grasp, giving his forehead a tender kiss. She paused at the foot of the bed to see if he would stir. But he made no move.

JJ dressed quickly, shut the curtains so he could sleep in a bit longer and then went for the door. She stopped there to look back at his sleeping form.

_God, she loved him…_ Her hand moved to her mouth when she gasped out in surprise. She was in love with him. How had she let that happen? Shaking her head at her own stupidity, she turned the door handle and quickly exited the room. There wasn't much to be done about it now. He was still married and as long as that was the case she couldn't act on her feelings.

Arriving at her room door, she inserted the key card to go inside, ready to log tonight as just another blissful memory.

"Well, well, well," Elle's voice startled her.

"Elle!" JJ exclaimed. "You're awake."

Elle chuckled at her, amused; JJ saw her take in her disheveled appearance and her stomach dropped to her feet. "Late night?"

JJ's eyes widened in panic. "Oh God, Elle, please—" she began, thinking about how both she and Hotch could get into major trouble if the section chief found out.

"Relax, JJ," Elle cut her off. "Geez, I'm not going to say anything. What you do on your own time is your business."

JJ exhaled a breath in relief.

"When I woke up and found you gone, I assumed you'd gone… visiting; I just stayed up to make sure that you're all right," Elle explained. "You're all right, aren't you?"

JJ nodded, it was hard to form words when her heart was beating a mile a minute.

"Ok," her colleague said, watching her amusedly. "I'm going to take a shower, now that you're back."

She moved towards the bathroom, but paused at the door. "Only, who was it… I won't tell… my money's on Morgan… I mean, who can resist that… no, Reid then? He can be pretty adorable sometimes. Don't tell him I said that."

JJ grimaced at the suggestions.

"Please tell me it's not Gideon?" Elle exclaimed.

At this point Elle was shooting off her guesses at rapid fire, and JJ was finding it hard to control her reactions.

"Oh man, Hotch, really?"

"It's not like that," JJ blurted out. Her hand went up to cover her moth quickly as if she could take back the blunder. "Oh God, Elle, please don't say anything. It was a one-time thing, I swear."

Elle held up her hand for her to stop again. "Like I said before, JJ, relax, it's none of my business."

JJ stared at her bewildered.

"But a word of caution?" JJ nodded for her to continue. "You're playing with fire, my friend…"

* * *

Well that's it for this one. I hope you enjoyed! I'll try to have the next chapter up as soon as possible. In the meantime, I hope you'll let me know what you think of this little story.

Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing at both fanfiction . net and thewriterscoffeshop . com : **livingvicariously75; hojear; JanPan; HansonFanGermany; NothingWithEverything; Guest; jekkah** _(I'm glad I've pleased a fellow Jotch-a-holic, lol, cause that's what I'm here for)_; **AJ-JJ** _(yep, I thought they needed to get right down to business, lol.);_ **Jotchprossi18; JustCallMeMarly; samcarter1980; and ncis4ever21.**

See ya all soon! :)


	4. 2007

**A/N:** Hey all! Back with another chapter—a tame one, lol. So, I've decided to follow the show pretty closely with some obvious tweaks. This chapter takes us from the tail end of Season 2, beginning with a nod at The Big Game (2x15) and Jones (2x19) thru into season 3 with mentions of the episode Birthright (3x11). So, anyways, I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 3:**

* * *

_**~ ~ February 2007 ~ ~**_

JJ couldn't look over at the table. _Wouldn't_ was more like it. If she allowed herself to, she'd see _him_ with _her _and she did not want to see them together. It was so much easier to pretend he wasn't married while they were at work.

She let out a mental sigh, focusing on the game of darts she was playing with the two very eligible men she'd met that night. Both were very much attuned to her and not someone else.

_Ok, JJ, keep it together,_ she told herself as she shot yet another bull's-eye.

Since they'd been together last April she and Hotch had been nothing but friendly. But she couldn't help it, every once in a while she'd get a pang of irrational jealously and she'd have to remind herself that he wasn't hers. She chalked it all up to the fact that she was so in love with him it hurt.

JJ glanced over her shoulder, curiously, just in time to see Hotch leading Hailey to the dance floor, laughing. _Looks like they're happy again,_ she mused, heart aching. Hurriedly, she turned back to the game, trying her damnedest to ignore them.

When her phone rang a little while later and it turned out to be a case, she was more than thankful—this would definitely be her last team outing where Mrs. Hotchner was also included.

Approaching the table they'd been basing their night out of, she found Reid, Garcia, and Emily there, but no Hotch. Hailey had also returned to the table; the woman gave her a friendly smile that she had to try her hardest not to cringe at. They'd barely said two words to each other all night, though, and JJ wanted to keep it that way.

"Uh oh…" Garcia announced upon seeing her. "That's the face of a good night coming to an end, isn't it?"

"We've got a case?" Emily questioned.

She nodded apologetically, keeping her eyes off of Hailey—it wasn't a secret that she hated the fact that Hotch was pretty much always on-call.

"Georgia and its bad," she confirmed.

"I'll get Morgan." Garcia jumped out of her seat.

"Let's go, Reid," Emily told the young doctor. "It was nice meeting you, Hailey."

"You too, Emily," Hotch's wife replied, the same smile still pasted on her face.

Soon after, it was just JJ and Hailey at the table; she could no longer avoid looking at her directly.

"Where's Hotch?" she blurted out awkwardly.

Hailey shot her a quizzical look before answering. "He's in the washroom, I spilled my drink on him accidentally…" she let her know. "You know… you can go ahead, I'll let him know…"

JJ was sure Hailey was only trying to be helpful; still, it felt as though she'd just been dismissed.

"It's all right," she countered. "There are some details he needs to know right away."

There wasn't any, really; she only had the sudden urge to contradict the woman who JJ knew caused Hotch so much pain. As far as she was concerned, Hailey did not deserve him.

"You ok?"

She hastily schooled her features, realizing she was letting her emotions get the best of her.

"Oh yeah… fine," she informed in a fake, high pitched voice. "How's Jack?"

Hailey beamed at her surprisingly. It was clear to JJ that she'd hit on Hailey's favorite subject. _Well, that's one good thing going for the woman, she obviously adores her son,_ she pondered thoughtfully.

"He's great; growing up so fast," Hailey gushed; after a pause, she added, "Do you ever think of having any kids?"

_Whoa!_ JJ thought quickly. _Way to get personal, fast…_

"Uh… got to find the right guy first," she replied, uncomfortably.

Hailey took a sip of her drink, considering this. "Oh… no special someone in your life?"

_Well, actually, there is… you're married to him and I love him… want to give him to me?_ she thought mirthlessly.

"Nope, not at the moment." She took a sip of her own drink, trying to hide her unease.

"Well… I hope you find someone as great as Aaron…" Hailey continued.

_If you think he's so great then why do you treat him like dirt? Why are you fooling around on him?_ she wanted to ask, completely frustrated.

"He really is great, don't you think?"

JJ couldn't help it; she let out a bit of a sigh and responded, a little too wistfully, "The best…"

That little remark earned her a suspicious eye from Mrs. Hotchner. It seemed Hailey was just about to comment on it, when the very person they'd just been discussing returned to the table.

"What'd I miss?" Hotch asked, good-naturedly, a rare grin on his face.

JJ stared at Hailey; in turn, Hailey watched her. She wondered if the older woman would say something about their exchange.

Finally, Hailey turned to look at Hotch and so did JJ; she could see that he now wore a concerned look on his face that swiftly turned quizzical when Hailey began to smile.

"You've got a case," she informed her husband.

JJ didn't know why she felt so disappointed until she actually realized that she'd kind of been hoping she'd call JJ out. Then maybe everything would be out in open and they could all stop pretending. She could possibly get a real chance at Hotch, too.

He turned his gaze on her, silently asking her with his eyes whether she was all right or not. She tried to convey with her own just how fine she was, but feared she'd failed when he frowned more deeply.

"A case?"

"Yeah," she said simply, "Georgia."

"All right," he said slowly, turning his gaze back to his wife. "Hailey, why don't you take the car home? I'll get a ride with JJ."

That surprised her more than it should have.

"Ok," Hailey agreed, pulling him in for a kiss that had JJ cringing. "Be safe."

"I will," he assured.

They stood up to go when Hailey unexpectedly called him back to the table. He told her to go ahead which she was glad to do. JJ would need a few moments alone to clear her twisted up mind.

* * *

There was an awkward silence in the SUV. Hotch chalked it up to whatever conversation his wife, and JJ—his sometime lover—had had just before he'd returned to the table. Whatever had been said resulted in the strange request Hailey had of him before he'd left the bar.

"Why did Hailey ask me to give you Sean's phone number?" Hotch blurted out loudly into the silence.

JJ glanced over at him sharply. "She did what?"

Ok, so she was obviously not in on this. "My brother, Sean, you remember…" he replied wryly.

"Yeah… I remember," she answered in a tone that gave him a twinge of envy. "She honestly told you to pass it along?"

He frowned. "She thinks you two would make a good couple…"

Where she'd gotten that idea he had no clue. Sean was so hot-headed, the opposite of JJ.

_But,_ his brain contradicted, _there is that saying: opposites attract…_

_Shut up, brain,_ he told it tersely.

The sound of JJ chuckling drew him from his thoughts. He shot her a confused look only to see that her laugh was a dry one, she was not amused.

"What's up?" he asked out right.

"We were talking… she asked me if I had anyone in my life…" JJ said, trailing off momentarily, uncomfortable. "I told her I didn't."

He met her blue eyes briefly and he gathered that she'd wished she could have said otherwise. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he knew he was such an idiot; once again he was reminded of how stupid he actually was to ever let himself have two nights of passion with her. Selfish is what he was, he concluded.

JJ broke the eye contact first, turning back to the road. He could tell she wasn't happy with him at the moment. "Anyways… then she went on about how great you are… which I confirmed…" He glanced at her intently, wondering how she could still believe that. "… and I guess she thinks I've got a crush on you or something and that maybe having a different Hotchner would help."

She shrugged her shoulders in defeat, silent now that her tale was told.

"JJ," he began. "I'm sorry… for ever putting you in this position."

"I wish you'd stop saying you're sorry," she murmured quietly; he had to strain to hear her.

He couldn't help himself. "You deserve so much…" She waved her hand in the air, attempting to get him to stop. And then he added, "_Would you _like Sean's number?"

He knew it was the wrong thing to say the minute it was out of his mouth, especially when she turned hurt eyes on him. "No, thank you. I do _not_ need a Hotch substitute."

Opening his mouth to say sorry once again, she put her hand up between them, signing for him to just quit it. So, rather than put his foot in it once again, he shut his mouth and hoped he hadn't ruined things with this beautiful woman.

* * *

_**~ ~ 3 weeks later ~ ~**_

He didn't like it. Or more precisely, he didn't like _him_. Hotch shot the younger detective a rueful glare as he watched the exchange happen between JJ and William LaMontagne Jr. He'd watched them throughout the case; the detective had flirted boldly with the pretty blonde the entire time. And it left a bad taste in Hotch's mouth.

Hotch continued to watch as she slipped her card to Detective LaMontagne.

What was she doing, giving him her card? The case was over. There was no need to keep further communication between the NOPD and the BAU. But he had a strong, sick feeling in his stomach that was telling him the card wasn't for professional reasons.

When JJ broke away from the young man and started to walk towards him, he tried his hardest to mask his feelings. The ones he knew he had no right feeling. But it was hard. When she met his eyes, she looked obviously nervous all of the sudden; her hand reached up, hovering in the air, as if she didn't quite know what to do with it. She settled on pushing her blonde strands behind her ears, the gesture coming off way too jumpy for his comfort. The smile she gave him was also just as anxious.

"Uh…" she began, letting out an awkward laugh. "Time to go home, I guess…"

She tried to move past him, wanting to get off the streets, and get away from him, he guessed. He had to talk to her, he realized. Things had been strained between them for the past month and it wasn't how he wanted things to be. Before anything else, he valued her as a friend first. He didn't want to lose that, no matter what.

Hotch caught her hand in his, halting her in her tracks. "Aaron, no," she protested, eyes darting around to see if anyone noticed his uncharacteristic move. But they were standing well away from the melee, a police car obscuring most of their bodies from everyone else. "Not here…" she continued.

His thumb rubbed circles into her palm; he couldn't resist her soft skin and it'd been way too long since he'd touched it last. He craved her, he figured out suddenly. "Then where?" he asked, urgently.

"The hotel," she answered, glancing over her shoulder at Emily. "Your room."

Hotch nodded his head, reluctant to let her go, however. After a squeeze to her hand he did so. "You go ahead; I'll finish up here…"

His eyes fell on the detective, talking to Morgan; his eyes narrowed unconsciously. When JJ's fingers wrapped around his hand, he looked at her in surprise and he could see the censure in her blue eyes.

"Aaron, no," she insisted. "Please, let's talk first."

She was right. He'd only make a mess of things if he went over there and confronted the detective, if he let his jealousy win over, when, obviously, nothing serious had occurred between them.

"All right," he conceded. She gave him a grateful look and a bit of a tug on his fingers, urging him to move. When his feet started moving she dropped his hand and he felt the loss acutely.

* * *

JJ stepped inside his hotel room when he held the door open for her. She hated the sense of resignation she felt at the moment; she felt as if she were about to forfeit any claim she had to the man following close behind her—he was so close she could feel his body heat radiating out towards her.

She turned around to face him, not surprised to find him less than a foot away. "Aaron…" she began tentatively.

"Are you going to see that man?" he questioned abruptly.

She stared at him, really seeing the jealous line of his mouth for the first time. And all of the sudden she felt outraged. What right did he have to interrogate her on this?

"Is that what we're really going to talk about?" she shot back, taking a step away from him.

He let out a harsh sounding sigh. "It wasn't what I'd intended… but, you're not answering the question?"

Hotch eyed her curiously and she didn't like it. "Don't you dare profile me, Aaron," she warned angrily. "I'm not answering the question because it's none of your business…"

"Like hell it isn't," he fumed; she could see she'd touched a nerve. "You're behavior reflects directly on the team… that _is_ my business, especially when you're traipsing around—" She let out a shocked squeak, but he went on. "—like some—"

This time he cut himself off, looking very shocked by his sudden temper.

"Like what?" she replied bitterly. "Finish it, Aaron. Like some… common slut… that's what you were going to say, isn't it?"

"No, JJ," he denied quickly, shaking his head. "No, I—"

He reached for her and she jumped back going to the door. "No. You know what, Aaron, go to hell!" She reached for the door knob, ready to leave him, in more ways than just one. But something inside her just wouldn't let her turn the knob. She had more to say.

She whirled around on him, furious, surprised to see him looking so ashamed. But, she wasn't about to let that defer her anger with him.

"What gives you the right to judge me for maybe wanting to be with someone? You're with Hailey!" She took a couple of deep breaths, hoping to calm herself, but they only seemed to fuel the fire. "What I want, what I need doesn't only exist on that one night that I fuck you!"

He winced at her word choice, looking away. "No, I know… you're right… God, I'm such a bastard…"

His words were so self-deprecating in tone that she couldn't help calming down.

"You've got Hailey… that's good," she choked out the words. "But… but…" He closed the distance between them and she allowed him to place his hands on her shoulders. "…seeing you two together… I need that, too, Aaron. I need someone… Oh God…" Tears were blurring her vision now. "I care about you, but… I think… I can't do this anymore…"

Looking into his eyes, she could see how much he wanted to protest, how much he wanted her. But instead of saying the words she so wanted to hear he nodded his head, agreeing with her.

"I'm sorry," he said, and she shook her head, closing her eyes. "No, I am." He leaned forward touching his forehead to hers. She let out a sigh when his lips moved over hers briefly. _Their last kiss? Probably._

Sniffling slightly, she felt the need to apologize as well. "I'm sorry, too; I really thought that I could just be content with the one time…"

Hotch kissed her forehead, hugging her close. "Don't be. You did nothing wrong, all right?"

She nodded into his chest, just savoring the quiet moment before she whispered, "I should go."

He let go of her reluctantly; watching her with sad, regretful eyes, as she turned the door knob. She was reminded of a quote she'd once heard:

_"If you love someone, let them go. For if they return, they were always yours. If they don't they never were." –Khalil Gibran._

She already knew what would be the result of letting him go, nonetheless, it had to be done. She loved him, but he wasn't hers.

Not being able to help herself, she closed the distance one last time for a hungry kiss. And then, with a sad sob, she wrenched herself from him and exited the room in a rush.

* * *

_**~ ~ December 2007 ~ ~**_

Hotch watched her closely; he couldn't avoid it. Yes, they'd agreed to cool things off—he'd spent April the eighth alone this year—but that didn't mean he could turn his feelings off for her so easily.

Ever since she'd brought this case to him, he'd noticed that she'd been… off. And the urge to comfort her now was strong.

They listened to the Fredericksburg sheriff describe what had occurred at the scene, but his eyes kept drifting off to JJ. She looked slightly on the sick side. He didn't know if she'd welcome what he had to say—they'd been hovering just on the friendly side of their relationship lately, nothing more—but he couldn't stand there doing nothing.

"I'll catch up," he told the Sherriff and Reid who began to move off.

JJ stood a few feet away, back to him. She glanced at him in slight annoyance over her shoulder and then looked away. He wasn't about to let her push him away, not right now, so he came around to face her directly.

"Ever since we had Jack, I always dread it when you bring me a case involving kids," he confessed.

He met her eyes tentatively. There, he could see the slight hostility at the mention of anything to do with his wife. He'd been avoiding Hailey as of late, ever since he'd returned to his role of Unit Chief after his suspension. Hailey, in turn, had developed an annoying habit of calling JJ whenever she couldn't reach him. He'd asked her to stop, but it still happened on occasion.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Every case we work, every case we don't work, comes across your desk," he explained.

"Yeah," she answered in a small voice.

"And most of the victims are women and most of them are about your age…" She glanced away. "It's ok if you lose it every once in a while. It reminds people that we're human."

"You never lose it," she offered.

He shook his head slightly, thinking about where his life was now. About to lose his wife, he was sure. Already having lost the woman in front of him… He wondered if he should have done things differently on a constant basis. "Maybe I should have…"

Hotch shot her a meaningful look, letting her know she was one of his regrets, but he found she couldn't meet his eyes.

_You need to let her go, Aaron,_ he scolded himself.

"We should uh… catch up to Reid," she said swiftly.

He let out a sigh, following her, hoping he'd at least made her feel a bit better.

* * *

JJ knew he'd been keeping her close during the case purposefully. He'd sensed that she was out of sorts; she couldn't hide that from him. And he'd been partially right; the case, in all its gruesomeness, was getting to her. But it was more than that.

Everything was weird around her. Her relationship with Will was still new and the long-distance aspect was already putting a strain on it. And truthfully, her heart wasn't in it either. After all they'd said to each other back in February, she was still hung up on the man by her side.

God help her, she could think of nothing but him. It was enough to drive her crazy. To make matters worse, they'd reverted back to their acquaintance-like relationship. She felt like she'd lost a friend. And it hurt.

"You ok?" he asked her and she refrained from rolling her eyes at him.

"You stop caring, you're jaded. You care too much, it'll ruin you," she stated incredulously, not meeting his tired, concerned look.

She listened to him go on about the job, but they both knew that that wasn't the main issue.

"…it's never perfect. It's still better to care…" he finished.

_Was it?_ she wondered. _Was loving Hotch better than not loving him? So far, it hadn't brought her much else other than heartache._ "You really believe that?" she needed to know.

He looked away, shaking his head. "I believe it's never perfect."

She let out a sigh, watching him walk away. No, it certainly wasn't. But in the two times they were together it had felt oh so close. And she wished with all her being that they could go back to those moments.

* * *

Well that's it for this one. I hope you enjoyed. Next chapter will take us from the end of season 3 to the beginnings of season 4. Hopefully, that should be up soon.

Thanks to all those who are reading and thanks to everyone who took the time to review: **ReadingRed** _(I think you can guess what the next chapter will touch on :)); _**HansonFanGermany **_(Yay, I'm all for converting people to the Jotch-side :) )_; **jekkah** _(thx x 2);_ **InGreyEyes; Huntress79; Jannisky; ncis4ever21; anoneemouse; basket-case1880** _(glad I can help; I definitely know how university can make you feel sometimes. Hope all is well);_ **JustCallMeMarley; happysunshine01; **l**ivingvicariously75** _(stay tuned :) )_; **and JanPan.**

See you all soon!


	5. 2008, Part 1

**A/N:** Hey all! Sorry to leave you hanging for a bit, had to make my rounds with my other fics before this one had a turn again.

So, this chapter starts off after the case in episode 3x12, 3rd Life and is all pretty much all one scene. This chapter was also getting petty massive by my standards (approaching 5000 words), so I decided to split 2008 into 2 parts for a quicker update. So, this is 2008, Part 1. Hope you enjoy!

Once again, this is rated M for language and adult situations (a more detailed chapter is available at thewriterscoffeeshop . com; you can find me there under the same penname).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 4:**

* * *

_**~ January, 2008 ~**_

"Thanks for walking me," Garcia told her, a hesitant look on her face as she stepped into the waiting elevator.

JJ smiled at her best friend. "You're welcome. Have a good night."

Her blonde friend held open the door to the elevator and looked at her incredulously. "Wait, you aren't coming?"

She shook her head tiredly. "I've got some things I need to finish up."

"Hun!" Garcia exclaimed. "They can wait! Go home."

"I won't be long," JJ promised. "Just a few things and then I'll be off."

"Ok." She didn't look convinced; a moment later the technical analyst was voicing her concerns. "You know, I've been worried about you, everything all right?" JJ nodded emphatically. "Is it Will?"

"Uh…" JJ looked around quickly; no one really knew about her relationship with the out of town Detective, no one but Garcia.

It wasn't Will, exactly. But, how could she tell her friend that he was slightly annoyed with her for holding back from him. And that the reason she was holding back was someone she saw practically every day. Her phone suddenly rang saving her from an awkward attempt at covering how she truly felt.

She gave Garcia an apologetic look as she glanced down at her caller ID. _Will._ It was like he was psychic or something.

"Everything's fine with Will. This is him, actually," she said quickly, holding up the phone to Garcia.

"Oh, ok," Garcia finished. "Have a good night! Don't stay too long."

JJ nodded her head, turning around. Just as the elevator doors closed she flipped open her cell and answered.

"Will, hi." She didn't mean to sound so abrupt.

"Hey," he replied. "Bad time?"

"Yeah, I uh… I've got a potential case," she lied, cringing at herself. She just wanted a few minutes alone to her thoughts that was all.

"All right, then," Will said. "I just wanted to check… see if you're still coming over this weekend. It's been a few weeks since you came over. I miss you."

She grimaced. Starting a relationship with the man had seemed like the best thing in the world for her. She needed him; a fresh start is how she saw Will. But, even though he was a genuinely great guy, who she did like and who obviously liked her, it was still anything but fireworks when they were together. Definitely not like when she was with Ho—

She cut off that line of thought and said into the phone, "Yeah, I'll be there. Sorry, work has been kind of crazy lately."

"That's all right, I get it," he assured. "Well, call me if you can't make it…"

"Can't make it?" she asked skeptically.

"Because of the potential case…"

"Oh yeah, right. I'll let you know," she replied guiltily. She hung up the phone swiftly, sure that the longer she stayed on the phone the more likely her white lie would become apparent.

Groaning out loud, she'd forgotten that she'd be heading down to Louisiana this weekend. JJ had been putting it off, claiming that she had to work. It was becoming pretty unbelievable. Hotch was a tough boss, but even Will knew that no one would let their employees go three weeks without a single weekend off. No, she'd have to go there if she wanted to continue things with Will. But that was the question, wasn't it: Did she want to keep things going with the sweet man?

JJ rubbed at her tired eyes, not knowing the answer to that question—so what else was knew, she didn't know much, now did she?— as she made her way through the bullpen. They'd just come back from a case in Chula Vista, California—Will didn't know that, of course. It had been a long flight home after a gut-wrenching case. Once the plane had landed, the team had all gone back to the BAU. However, one by one everyone had left for the night.

Making it to the stairs, she glanced at her watch, ten pm; any sane person would not be considering another hour or two of work. It was just that she didn't really feel like going home. Home was when she had free time. And free time was when certain thoughts surfaced. Thoughts that she wasn't allowing herself to think anymore.

Thoughts like: "If I was truly honest with myself, I'd end things with Will." Or, "Will is a nice guy; he deserves someone that's really into him…" Or even, "I wonder what Aaron is doing right at this moment…"

Home or at work, it seemed she couldn't escape the revealing memories. She wondered if she could ever really get over Hotch. _Some distance may help,_ she mused. But getting distance seemed pretty unlikely since she worked with him, side by side, every day. Could she quit her job? No, that was out of the question. It was her life.

She let out a sigh as began to climb the stairs up to the upper floor. _What am I doing?_ she thought shamefully.

It was obvious that she wasn't as into the detective as he was into her. So why didn't she just end it? Surely, there was someone else out there that she could get into? But thinking it and believing it were two different things. It was hard to believe that she could ever love anyone else when she worked with a man she knew to be perfect for her.

So what would be the point of ending things when she couldn't have the one she truly wanted? Her indifference to a life with or without Will startled her momentarily to a halt.

_What am I doing?_ she asked herself once again, shaking her head at herself.

_**Living,**_ a voice in the back of her mind answered.

With that ludicrous thought, she moved along, passing Rossi's darkened office first. It seemed that she was the last one still hanging around. She should have known better, though. As she kept walking along, a light caught her eye; of course it had to come from Hotch's office.

JJ let out a sigh at the sight. _How could I have possibly have thought that I would be the last one in the office?_ she thought morosely.

His door, she could see, was wide open. She couldn't help herself; she allowed herself a quick glance inside. Instead of finding Hotch hard at work, she saw him staring off into to the distance; his eyes had a faraway look to them that she didn't quite like. Something was definitely on his mind, something that was clearly troubling him. The urge to go in there and comfort him was strong.

There was a hitch in her step, pausing, but she shook her head, continuing on. Their relationship was so strained at the moment, restricted to professional interactions only, that she wasn't sure she'd be welcome. And, she had no idea how she'd even approach him.

JJ reached her office rather quickly. The second she got inside she shut the door behind her, only to lean against it, barring it as if that would banish all thoughts of the man she loved from her head, too. She let out a strangled sounding breath. Suffocated, that's how she felt these days. Will on one side, Hotch on the other, they were closing in on her.

She strode over to her desk, determined to do some work, to get her mind off her dilemma. She didn't bother to sit down as she picked up a file off of her cluttered desk. JJ opened it absently, not really looking at its contents. Try as she might, her mind was still on her messed up love life. Sometimes she just wished she could go back—

She slammed the file back down the desk as if she could knock that thought out of her brain too. No, she wouldn't wish away their time together. Not even for the chance to have everything return to normal.

_Couldn't they…_ she wondered tentatively. This can't really be how things are supposed to be. _Can't we at least find a new normal?_

They could fix things, she was sure. With that resolute thought, she made her way back towards her closed door. Regardless of how their relationship was now, it needed to change. She could not keep feeling this way. She knew most of this was her fault. After all, she'd had no business falling for him—her friend and boss. It was up to her to normalize things.

Without much more thought, she purposefully made her way down the hall, towards her boss's office. One way or another they were going to make things right tonight. JJ was determined to be able to have some kind of relationship with the man she cared for, one that didn't just involve brief talks about victims and killers.

Reaching his office, she found the light still on and the door still ajar. He was still here. She breathed out a hesitant breath. The rest of the BAU floor, she observed, was dark. JJ was sure they were the only two left. Not glancing to see what he was currently doing, she entered his office abruptly, closing the door behind her.

"JJ?" came Hotch's startled voice.

She whirled around to see that she had his complete attention. Instead of answering him, she walked with resolve towards his desk. She looked to his desktop, curious to see what was occupying his thoughts. And there, she caught a glimpse of a title: **Supreme Court, State of Virginia. Marital Settlement Agreement.**

His divorce papers.

"JJ?" he questioned her again. She looked up at him to see that he was watching her with a curious, but guarded expression. There was a time when he didn't feel the need to guard himself from her, she remembered sorrowfully.

Standing before his desk, she met his gaze head on. He continued to stare at her with concern and sad eyes. There was something else there too, but she wouldn't allow herself to overanalyze it right now. He was hurting, she realized, and this could wait. She shook her head. What was she doing here?

"This can wait," she said out loud.

JJ turned on her heel, ready to exit. She would try to bridge the gap between them on a less meaningful night.

"Don't go." His voice stopped her in her tracks. "I've missed you."

Slowly, she spun around; startled to now find him standing behind his desk, geared up as if he were to chase her if she were to flee. Meeting his eyes, the warmth there, the affection she found in his dark orbs was staggering. That emotion she hadn't wanted to decipher from a moment before was there now, plain before her. _Longing._

JJ gave herself a mental shake. Voices were warring in her head. For a moment, she wondered if she was going crazy. _You can't do this anymore, remember?_ She continued to stare at him; it was clear he was in pain. _But, can I really leave him?_ _**If you really can't do this anymore, then why are you here, JJ? **_

It took her second to answer herself; she let out a sigh. _Because,_ she realized, _I still long for him too._

Her features softened at that realization. A part of her would always want him; she would have to come to terms with that.

Letting out a breath, she made her way to the couch he had set off against the wall. She took a seat there, slipping off her heels so that she could fold her legs underneath her. Then, she gave the empty spot next to her a pat, gesturing for him to join her. He didn't make her wait long; when he finally took the seat next to her, he sat just far enough away from her so they weren't touching. But he was still close enough.

Alone like this, she couldn't resist—weak, that's what she was. She held his gaze as her hand found his, lacing their fingers together. After what they'd shared and how she felt about him, she was still surprised by how so chaste of a gesture, a touch, could still send a heat wave through her body.

She was here to offer him comfort that was all. So, she took in a breath ready to speak about a topic that she didn't really want to talk about.

"So," she began tentatively. "You still haven't signed them?"

Hotch shook his head, saying nothing more. He broke away from her gaze and looked back towards his desk. She tried her best to read into that silence, that gesture, but she wasn't the Profiler of the pair, he was.

"What happened?" she breathed out, asking; it was the only way she knew how to get answers.

Last she'd thought, he and Hailey were happily married. Being so estranged from him lately, she was shocked when she'd witnessed the scene of him getting served with the papers after the case in Fredericksburg.

At the time, she'd felt for him, seeing his stoic face, trying so hard to not show how truly crushed he was. His marriage had been important to him; she knew how much he'd wanted to save it. She'd been a part of the attempt to save it, after all. But, she guessed it hadn't worked.

JJ wouldn't be a human being if she said she didn't think about how a potential divorce could benefit her. However, the instant she thought it, she'd felt thoroughly ashamed. And, in fact, she'd stayed away from him even more, purposefully, not wanting him to think that she'd gotten any ideas.

Tonight felt different, though. She had Will, and she felt that that was a good enough buffer against the handsome man before her.

"She was just… done," he answered haggardly.

She gave him a firm nod. "I'm sorry."

Hotch's gaze found hers again. He held it as he said, "Me too." But something in the way he watched her, an eyebrow quirked up, told her that he wasn't just sorry for his marriage coming to an end. He was apologizing for what happened between them.

Watching, almost helplessly, as his mouth opened to say something she was sure she didn't want to hear, she quickly held her fingertips to his mouth, effectively cutting him off.

"Don't." He gave her a confused look. "Don't say you're sorry for the things we did. Please don't. I'm not sorry. They were the best moments I've ever shared with a person…"

She couldn't help confessing. Being around him caused her to say and do things she normally would never even think of. He just had that kind of effect on her. He was liberating and a little toxic at the same time.

Hotch's hand came to rest on her chin, urging her to meet his chocolate stare. There was tenderness there and affection, a sense of conflict, but determination, and an overwhelming amount of passion, too. Whatever had occurred between them since the last time they'd shared an intimate interlude didn't matter. He still cared for her, still wanted her desperately. And God, did she feel the same, too.

"JJ," he murmured, his breath tickling her fingertips in a pleasant way. She dropped her hand to her lap, looking down. She was suddenly conscious of his thumb rubbing circles into the palm of the hand he was still holding. When he breathed out the words, "Mine too," she couldn't help the actions she took next.

Her fingers untangled from his so she could move herself towards him along the couch. He was sitting forward, so that her knees touched his right thigh. Tentatively, she put her arms around his neck, bringing her body ever closer to his. Her eyes found his once again, sending him a silent question: _Is this all right?_ She could feel the warmth radiating from his body, enveloping her, his eyes moved to her lips And she had her answer.

When their gazes locked once more, she knew he wanted this as well.

JJ touched her lips to his in a whisper of a kiss, still gauging his reaction. She _had_ told him that she'd been done with him, after all. But, as she was pulling back to look into his eyes, she heard him let out a little moan before he pulled her up into his lap, fusing their bodies as well as their mouths.

His lips moved over hers hungrily, sweeping his tongue across her lips, urging her to open to him. And she happily did so. His arms skimmed the lines of her back, leaving a trail of fire as they moved down to cup her ass, pulling her flush against him, letting her know just how much he really needed her.

JJ groaned out her approval. Her hands trailed from his shoulders, down his chest, to where his shirt was tucked into his pants. She tugged on the material fiercely, eager to remove all barriers between them. They temporarily broke the kiss as he helped her help him out of the white button-up shirt. Urgency seemed to set in then as his hands made quick work of her matching white shirt.

And then his lips were there, burning a kiss into the skin of her already well-heated neck. His soft lips travelled a path along her delicate jawline, the stubble of his chin scratching her, sensitizing her flesh further. He moved across her cheek and she felt the tickle of his breath at her ear. "JJ?" he exhaled, a question in his voice.

She knew that he was sure that this moment was what he wanted right now. Hotch was asking her if she was sure. _Am I? It's going to be for just one night… I didn't want this, remember? I wanted a life with someone…_

_**And she had that,**_ she told herself, _**with Will**_. What was one night, right now, compared to many more with Will? She could do this. Just let herself feel what she so wanted to feel. And then go back to Will.

She knew her logic was flawed, compromised by the touch of his hands at the small of her back. Things were moving fast, probably too fast. But, she was too far gone to consider the possible consequences of the moment they were occupying just then.

She pulled back, placing a hand on his cheek; she nodded her head once, letting her thumb trace his soft lips. He took hold of that hand quickly, bringing it palm up to that lovely mouth. He kissed her open palm, eyes on her the whole time.

JJ pulled her hand from him and instead replaced it with her own lips. She kissed him hard, pent up emotion of the past two years without his touch guiding her. It was like coming home from a long, tough day to the smell of hot apple pie baking in the oven. He was home, she realized.

She'd meant what she said to him months ago. JJ needed more, and maybe that was what she had with Will. But, she also knew that she needed Aaron. Like he'd told her months before, 'it's never perfect…"

His hand was tickling a path across her shoulder; she felt his fingers pause as they reached the strap of her bra.

"Don't stop," she groaned against his lips, urging him on.

His mouth was suddenly there on her shoulder, following the same path his fingers had just taken. The strap was suddenly down, and his hands went around her back to unhook the clasps. The scrap of fabric dropped away from her shoulders; he didn't waste any time after that.

"Oh God," she moaned out at his touch. "Hotch… I need you… your mouth…

Her breath was coming hard, fast when the next thing she knew he lifted her from his lap to lay her back against the sofa's length. He came over her, hovering, leaving but a mere inch between their naked tops. And then his mouth was on her, seemingly everywhere at once. She cried out her delight. A free hand moved down the length of her body suddenly surprising her between her legs.

"Ah," she hissed out in surprise. "Fuck."

His mouth moved away from her breasts only to place a tender kiss just below her belly button. He pulled at the remaining material covering her, pulling down the matching lace underwear she had underneath, as well. They found the floor, joining both their shirts in a little neat pile.

Hotch didn't hesitate; he took hold of one knee, pushing it to the side, kneeling before her; his mouth took her ever closer to the edge as she ran her fingers through his hair, holding his head in place.

"Oh… yes," she panted out. "Yes…"

With every touch, she was that much closer. She could feel her release coming on, hard; the moment, she knew, would be earth-shaking. But, she wanted to feel him inside her when that happened.

"Hotch—Aaron—fuck!" she cursed as his lips sucked hard. "I need you…"

He pulled away from her, standing up; she followed him forward, eager to get him undressed. Her hands went to his belt buckle, frantically undoing the thing. The button and zipper came undone easily enough. He stepped back to let the material pool at his feet, JJ's hands went to the band of his briefs, tugging them down abruptly. Her hands took hold of him, pumping him hard.

"JJ, oh God, stop," he protested, knowing that he was a few caresses away from letting go. She didn't care though, she needed release and fast.

Pulling away from her, he took a seat on the couch, next to her. JJ was puzzled for an instant until he held his hand out to her, a smirk on his face. "Come here, JJ."

Grinning, she had a very good idea of what he wanted her to do next. Taking her time, she took his other proffered hand; impatient, he tugged her forward. She laughed as she gave in quickly enough, putting one knee to either side of his hips.

He was so delectably close and he'd given her all the control this time around. JJ decided she was going to have fun with him.

Her hands went to either of his shoulders as his found the curve of her hips, she felt his fingers massage the flesh there, urging her to make her move. Instead of doing what was expected, she leaned forward and gave one cheek a chaste kiss.

"JJ," he breathed out harshly.

"Hmm…" she teased, kissing the other cheek.

She rocked her hips forward and back, feeling him slide into her just an inch; it was all she could do not to take him right then.

He shuddered out a chuckle. "I need—I need you."

"What do you need?" she responded, letting her lips brush against his.

She pulled her hips away from him, but pressed her lips firmly to his. She kissed him hard, letting her tongue plunge into his mouth to play with his. JJ liked being in control, it was definitely breathtaking.

When she pulled away from him abruptly, she was happy to hear him groan out his frustration. "Aaron," she allowed. "Tell me what you want?"

"Fuck me," he told her, voice gruff with the request.

Her hands on his shoulders, his on her hips, she decided it was time to relent. Slowly, she lowered herself over him, sheathing him between her legs.

"Oh God…" she hissed out as she felt every inch of him suddenly inside her.

It took them a moment to adjust to the new friction between them. But with every breath they took, they could feel each other, connected, tension rising, they couldn't hold back no more.

"JJ…" he pressed.

"I know," she agreed. They began to move together, slowly, meeting each other thrust for thrust.

"Oh…" he groaned out.

"Hotch—Aaron," she stuttered out, not knowing what she was calling for. She was almost there, she knew that much.

When his hand came between their rocking bodies, she was set over the edge coming hard at the mere touch.

"Fuck," Hotch groaned out, as she felt him come a second later.

* * *

Hotch panted for breath, desperately trying to regain control. She was still in his lap, still before him. Her head rested on his shoulder as she, too, attempted to catch her breath.

He couldn't believe she was even there at all. Things between them had not been at their best. But she'd come to him, in a moment where he'd been questioning everything he'd ever known about love and happiness. It was a sign, surely. A sign of what, exactly, that part he didn't know.

"JJ?" he said, wanting to know she was all right.

She lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him with her stunning blue eyes. There was no regret there, no sadness. Just questions. Questions that he still did not have the answers to. But that didn't seem to matter just then, as her lips found his and she kissed him, once, twice, before pulling back.

"I don't want to think about it right now…" she let him know.

"It?"

"_It,_ this, us… I just want to lie down with you for a bit longer," JJ informed him. "Is that ok?"

He nodded his head dumbly. JJ's hands came to his chest insisting he lie back on the couch. She joined him, pressing her naked body against his. He put his arms around her after managing to bring his suit jacket down to cover them somewhat. It should have struck him as scandalous that he was lying on his couch, naked with her, in his office. But, the moment was just too perfect to be ruined by practical thoughts.

His hand brushed the smooth skin of her shoulder over and over again as he listened to her breathing even out. God, this felt so right… why couldn't things be simple. Why couldn't he just divorce Hailey and be with her right now? What was holding him back?

_Jack, for one._ Coming from a broken home, himself, he'd never wanted to raise a child that way. He had wanted to try to hold things together for his son's sake.

And JJ wasn't exactly single either. She'd never told him to his face, but he got the idea that she wasn't from something Garcia had said a while ago. He'd managed to coax it out of his computer-savvy employee. JJ was dating that detective from New Orleans. It must have been going on for a few months now. Was it serious? He didn't know and was too scared to ask.

It was sometime later, when JJ murmured something incoherently, that he realized she was falling asleep on his shoulder. He was very reluctant to wake her, but he knew that they couldn't stay there all night like that.

He planted a gentle kiss on top of her golden head and murmured, "JJ, honey, it's time to go."

Slowly, she tilted her head up so that he could look into her sleepy eyes. She looked totally kissable and he had to suddenly control his sudden urge to do just that and make love to her all over again.

"Time to go…" she echoed in a whisper.

Her hand brushed along the side of his body in a tantalizing way; he grabbed hold of that wandering hand giving its palm a kiss. "Yeah?" He chuckled. "Unless you want Garcia or Dave to find us… like this…"

Her sleepy eyes suddenly came awake, widening as she was clearly remembering where she was and what they'd just done. "Oh," she said in awe. "No… not like this…"

She was up and getting dressed in a flash after that. He took his time pulling himself together. Once they were both fully clothed, they stood apart, gazing longingly at each other.

"We need to talk, I think," he said matter-of-fact.

She nodded her head.

"But," he started. "It can wait…" He took hold of her hand, not being able to resist, and pulled her to him. Her small hands came between their bodies, clutching his now thoroughly wrinkled dress shirt and he let his own settle on either side of her hips, as he kissed her hard.

Would he ever be able to get enough of her? He was sure he knew the answer to that question.

JJ was the one to pull back first. "When?" she wanted to know.

"Tomorrow," he set the date.

They'd talk tomorrow and hopefully they'd come to some kind of understanding. One where they were free to be together without any of this one night business _or _sneaking around.

* * *

Well that's it for Part 1. I hope to have Part 2 up shortly. Part 2 will involve a few more episodes from Season 3 before we head on to 2009. Hope you all are enjoying!

Thanks to everyone who are reading and to those who are reviewing: **HansonFanGermany; Graveygraves; 12635397; gibbsluvr; MissJJD; whimsical-one-ga; spyagent001; whiteswan; Guest; jekkah; samcarter1980; Cinnamonfa; and JanPan.**

Hope you'll let me know what you think! Thanks!

And a quick note from the moderators of the forum Chit Chat on Author's Corner (on fanfiction . net):

**THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review ALL information BEFORE submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HXChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards.**


	6. 2008, Part 2

**A/N:** Hey all! So um, 2008 is turning out to be an eventful year. This is part 2, and I'm sure there'll be a part 3 before I can move on to 2009. This chapter takes us into the 3rd season episode Damaged. So, I hope you're all still enjoying. As always, let me know what you think. Thanks!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 5:**

* * *

_**~ February, 2008 ~**_

Hotch let out a long-suffering sigh as he put his car into park. Stalling for time, he took a moment to duck his head so he could glance out of the passenger side window. He stared up at the house he'd once thought of as home. He did not want to be here right now. He desperately needed to be with JJ, at the moment.

After sharing another beautiful night with her two weeks ago, she'd become pretty angry with him. The reason? They had yet to have the talk that he'd promised they would have. And he knew that because she was so mad at him she'd gone on a weekend trip to see the New Orleans detective she was currently dating. That alone killed him.

It wasn't that he was avoiding having the conversation with her. It was that they could not seem to find a spare moment alone to talk. Hotch was frustrated as hell with himself and his current predicament. All he wanted to do was be with her.

When JJ had returned a few days later, he was, once again, eager to chat, to make it up to her. But then they were called away to Philadelphia. Sometimes, he just hated his job.

Even now, with no case in sight, things were working against them. Hailey had called, demanding he come over right away. She claimed they had something urgent to discuss. Hotch had not liked her depreciating tone over the phone one bit. He'd asked if it was about Jack. She'd said no, and hung up.

So, here he was, sitting in front of the home that he knew had contained love in it at one point—even though he could barely remember those days—knowing that they were about to talk about their marriage. Though, he was pretty sure in this case 'talk' was just another word for argue.

The thought of sitting on the couch he had helped pick out while she berated him for not being there for his family made him queasy. And he would, just sit there, he didn't like to throw back accusations; it wasn't his style.

God, all he wanted to do was sign the damn papers and be done with all of it.

But Hailey wasn't making that easy either. She had a list of demands, making the price for parting with her pretty high. He was sure that that would be number one on her list of things to converse about today. Even though their lawyers were battling it out for them, she still felt the need to argue about it in person. She was a fan of giving things that personal touch.

Hotch let out a resigned sounding groan. He couldn't sit in his car forever, and the sooner he got in there, the sooner he could find JJ. He needed to make things up to her. So, he pushed open his door and stepped out.

On the plus side, if Jack was here he could actually see his son.

Making his way up to the front door, he knocked—he still couldn't get over the weird feeling that caused every time. After a minute the door opened to a grim-looking Hailey. Before he could say anything, his three year old waddled forward, exclaiming, "Daddy!"

Hotch chuckled at the sight of his little boy. Instantly, he snatched him up, hugging him tight, loving the sound of his happy giggles.

"How's my boy doing?" Hotch wondered out loud.

He spared a quick glance at Hailey; she held the door open for him to come inside. Hotch made his way to the living room as he listened to Jack recount his day semi-coherently. He listened, regardless; just glad he was holding his son.

Sometime later, Hailey decided to intervene. "Jack, sweetheart, mommy needs to talk to daddy for a bit. Can you go into the TV room? It's time for Bob the Builder…"

Jack's face lit up at the mention of his favorite tool belt wearing character. Hotch smiled as he wiggled off his lap and out of the room.

Only when he could hear the sound of the television going did he turn to face his soon to be ex-wife. She was frowning deeply. It was a look that he was becoming more than a little familiar with. It was an expression that always got him asking himself, "_Now_, what did I do?"

But they weren't together anymore. And he had no idea why she would be so displeased with him—aside from the obvious reasons.

"So," he began, trying to keep the resignation from his voice. "I'm here. What did you want to talk about?"

She came to sit on the adjacent chair. "The divorce."

He nodded. "Yes, of course." _What else…_

"Have you seen the new terms yet?" she asked stiffly.

Surprised, Hotch replied, "New terms?"

"Your lawyer was supposed to give them to you," she explained.

"I've been out of town," he informed. "A case…"

Her mouth formed a thin line. "Of course you were." She stood up, circling the couch, going to the desk he used to keep his mail in. She picked up two large manila envelopes.

"Hailey?" he said impatiently.

Without a word, she came back around and handed him one of the envelopes. He looked at her expectantly, but she remained tight-lipped, apparently waiting for him to read whatever was inside the small yellow package.

Giving up, he opened it and pulled out some sheets of paper from her lawyer's office. It was as he'd predicted, a list of demands. But it was longer, way longer than what she'd expected of him the last round.

His eyes wide, he looked up at her. "You can't be serious. This is everything!"

"Yes, it is," she answered primly.

"You can't expect me to agree to this," he said tersely, his tone conveying how crazy he thought she was.

She nodded her head. "You will."

Her countenance was so sure. She sat there not looking the least bit anxious or unsure. Hotch suddenly got a sick feeling in his stomach at that certainty. Again, without a word, she handed him the second envelope that she'd grabbed.

He gave Hailey a shrewd look. "What's this?"

"Open it, Aaron."

He very much did not want to. But it was clear she wasn't about to say anymore until he did so. Reaching his hand inside, he felt the smoothness of the paper, before pulling out the contents.

Looking down at what had been inside, his heart plummeted to the floor. It was a picture. Of him and JJ. From the first night they'd been together. And it was pretty clear as to what they had been up to.

Hotch re-met his wife's gaze. To her credit, she managed to not look the least bit smug, only resigned. "This is… this is…" he stuttered out.

"There's more," she added.

His gaze travelled back down unwillingly, he'd missed the fact that there wasn't just one photo, but a small stack of snapshots. He flipped through the dozen or so prints and saw that some were also from the second night. How the hell had she managed this?

_Oh God,_ he was going to be sick.

"Aaron," Hailey began, her high pitched voice piercing through the fog in his head. "I want you to sign the divorce papers uncontested."

"What?" he demanded harshly.

She did not repeat herself, so he guessed he'd heard right. Angrily, he re-stuffed the photos into the envelope. He couldn't believe she'd just had them out in the open like that. _What if Jack had found them?_ He shuddered at the thought.

"Do I have to remind you that these nights were sanctioned by you," he argued. "And that you also took part in your own affairs."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Where's the proof?"

His mouth dropped open. "You… you… b—"

"Watch it, Aaron," she said disapprovingly. "Your son is in the other room."

Hailey was right. He took a breath, attempting to calm himself down. Once he felt he could speak without releasing a string of expletives, he said, "So, your idea of a one night deal was what, a trick?"

She shook her head furiously. "No. No. It was an attempt to fix our marriage. But, I expected you to find someone random, not JJ!"

"So, this is about JJ?" he seethed.

"Partly. I mean, it makes me wonder. All those late nights… what was really going on?" she sneered.

"I never cheated on you," he said forcefully. "This," he indicated the envelope, "happened on the one night you wanted to pretend we weren't married."

"Still," she said, her disbelief evident in her voice. "You should have found someone else."

He wasn't about to tell her that there was no one else. That he could not imagine ever being with anyone else. JJ was it. Instead, he said, "What's the other part?"

"This is about me getting what I need to secure a happy life for me and my son."

Hotch exhaled a breath. "So you gave these to your lawyer, then?" He knew the sneaky man would have a field day with this.

"No."

"No?" he asked sharply.

"No," she answered. "You forget that I know you, Aaron. You'll fight this. I know you will."

Hell yeah, he would. They'd both had extramarital affairs. He wouldn't let this just be on him.

"So, I've decided. If you won't sign the papers, I will take these photos to your boss." The color instantly drained from his face. "I'm sure this kind of employee-employer relationship is frowned upon."

He couldn't help it this time, he breathed out, "You bitch."

Ignoring it, she continued, "You'll lose the one thing you truly love. The thing you've always cared about most. Well, actually, from the looks of those pictures, maybe you'll be losing the two things you care about."

Hotch stood up, shaking with anger. He could not believe this. He stared back at the woman he thought he knew. Hailey stared at him coldly. He did not know this stranger.

"Oh and of course, JJ would lose her job, too," she just had to add. Hailey stood up, as well. "Look, I can see you're in no state to make a decision right now. So, I'll give you some time to think on it… Not too much time, though."

He had to get out of there. Hotch made his way to the front door, slamming it shut behind him. He stood there on the front step, breathing deeply. He needed to calm down, to think.

How the hell did he get himself into this position? And what made it all the worse was that he'd brought JJ along with him. Hailey knew exactly where to hit him where it would hurt most.

Hotch walked towards his SUV. He couldn't believe that just a short while ago he'd been planning out how he and JJ would be together.

He would have went to Strauss, disclosed his intention in starting a relationship with his media liaison. There would have been consequences, but he was more than sure that they'd both keep their jobs. Now… well, this changed things.

He needed to think. He needed to sign those damned papers.

* * *

JJ breathed out a sigh as she stared down at the papers before her. She was not seeing the requests for her to teams help with a case. Instead, the past two weeks were playing in her head.

Three days. She'd given Aaron three days to find her and have the conversation he'd said they would have. But it didn't happen. So, she'd found herself on a plane to the Mardi-Gras state to see the man she called her boyfriend. And now, things were also weird with Will.

She was avoiding his calls because she hated to hear the uncertainty in his voice. After her arrival in New Orleans she'd practically jumped Will. The horrible part was that she knew now that she'd slept with him that first night there to somehow spite Aaron.

JJ had just been so angry at the time, feeling like Hotch was playing games with her. After, when she'd realized what she'd done and why, the rest of their weekend was spent together awkwardly.

A part of JJ knew that Hotch had been trying to get a hold of her, before and during her trip. But, now that she was back, things continued to be busy for the team. She'd scarcely had a minute in her bosses company, let alone a minute alone with him. She was just so frustrated. And it made it worse that she had no clue where Aaron's head was at either.

Just as JJ had resigned herself to getting back to work, the door to her office burst open. Penelope came inside in a whirl. "I might be in big trouble!"

Preoccupied with her thoughts and work, JJ persisted to look down at the paperwork in hand. _A potential killing spree in Texas. That was worth taking a second look._ "Come on in," she murmured.

"I can't believe he showed up at my apartment," Garcia went on, incredulously, as she paced the floor of JJ's office.

"It's not like I'm doing anything here," she answered absently.

"We just had a seminar on fraternization last week," her friend cried out.

_Fraternization?_ That reminded her of Aaron. And she'd just finished thinking about him. Somehow she had to get Garcia to go or, at the very least, change the subject.

"I really have a lot of work to do, Garcia," she said pointedly, still avoiding eye contact.

"So, you don't want to hear how Agent Rossi showed up at my door in the middle of the night while I was enjoying a post-coital shower with fellow FBI technical analyst, Kevin Lynch?"

_Whoa!_ JJ's brain screamed. This she had to hear.

"Sit," she said quickly, gesturing for her best friend to take the seat in front of her desk. "So, you were _in_ the shower with Kevin Lynch?"

"Come on, JJ, I'm being serious. I need your help," Garcia lamented.

"With what?" JJ wondered out loud.

"Agent Rossi. We're not supposed to date fellow bureau employees," she countered.

_That's right,_ JJ remembered. _Still… _"From what I hear, Rossi is the reason most of these fraternization rules even exist. Ok? He's… he's not going to tell anyone. Just relax."

JJ sat back in her chair, crossing her arms. She put a smile on her face for her friend's sake, even though on the inside she was wondering what the fraternization rule would mean for her and Aaron.

"Wait, what… what was Rossi doing at your apartment?" she asked, suddenly curious.

"That's a good—" Garcia cut herself off. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone."

"Why?"

"I didn't press the issue… I was all naked and all drippy," she admitted

"Right," JJ breathed out. "Doesn't showering with someone always seem like a better idea before you're actually doing it?"

Garcia laughed. "Yes, it is a bit of a workout."

"I mean, there comes a point when a girl's just got to wash her hair alone, you know…" she said, long-sufferingly, though, acutely amused. She was enjoying joking with her friend and was sad when her phone unexpectedly rang cutting off their fun. She was even sadder when she saw who it was. "Hmm, this is turning into some morning," she added lightly, though she felt anything but calm at the moment.

JJ put the phone to her ear and said, "Mrs. Hotchner?" She managed to control her cringe in front of Penelope.

"I can't get a hold of Aaron," Hailey blurted out angrily. "He's not answering any of my calls!"

_Well, hello to you too,_ JJ thought, annoyed.

"Well, that… that would make sense, because he's in a prison right now," JJ explained. "Sometimes cell service can be—"

"I need to speak to him right away, JJ," Hailey cut her off, abruptly. "I'm sure you can pass the message along. He never misses one of _your_ calls."

Alarm bells rang in her head. She so did not enjoy Hailey's snide, knowing tone. But she wouldn't let the woman get the best of her.

"Oh… uh, well, if I can get a hold of him, I'll—"

"You do that!" Hailey finished tersely.

"Ok," JJ said, just as the woman hung up on her. Garcia was watching her, so she rolled her eyes and said, "That is one seriously pissed off lady. She can't get Hotch on his cell phone…"

"Why would she call you?" Garcia inquired curiously.

JJ pushed some buttons on her phone. "Because," she said, more than a little irritated, "she knows I can do this…"

Less than a second later, she heard Aaron's quizzical voice, "JJ?"

She could hear in his tone the wonder at why she was calling, if she was going to ask about why they hadn't spoken yet.

"Hotch, hi," she said, inflecting her best professional tone possible. "Uh, I just got a call from Hailey…" Garcia stood up, waving goodbye. "She's been trying to get a hold of you and she sounded pretty angry."

"I see," he said simply, not elaborating. She guessed he wasn't alone.

"Is this… is it about the divorce?" she inquired hastily.

"Yeah, JJ," he said abruptly.

She didn't want to, but she asked anyways, "Have you signed them yet?"

"Um, no… it's a… it's a personal matter," he answered. He was definitely with someone. Still, her heart fell at his response.

"All right," she said resignedly. "I'll leave it to you…"

"Yes, thank you, I will take care of it when I get back." And that was it, he hung up.

JJ groaned out loud. She hated this. She hated feeling like she was sharing Aaron with Hailey, especially since she had no claim whatsoever to him. _She_, not Hailey, was the other woman.

JJ loved Aaron, but the jitteriness she was feeling, the almost constant unease in her gut, was starting to get to her. And she wasn't sure if it was worth it anymore, particularly since he hadn't even signed the divorce papers yet.

All she knew was that she would be scheduling her own little talk with Aaron when he got back.

* * *

Hotch drove on silently, acutely aware of Reid in the passenger seat. He knew the genius had sensed his frustration and anger—especially earlier, in the interrogation room. Hotch couldn't believe he'd lost control of his emotions. But everything was just piling up at once ad he felt like he was losing control of it all.

And, man, did he hate the fact that Hailey had called JJ to get to him.

He knew what Hailey wanted, of course. He had yet to sign; not because he didn't want to, but because he was biding his time, considering his options. Was there a way to get what he wanted, what JJ wanted, and even, partly, what Hailey wanted? So far, the answer to that question was a big resounding no.

He let out a sigh. He needed to focus on the here and now.

"It was smart to get Hardwick to focus on himself long enough for the guards to come back," he broke the silence.

Hotch felt Reid's questioning eyes on him briefly. "I find I do some of my best work under intense terror."

He glanced at Reid hurriedly, finding him staring forward, slightly bemused. "I'm sorry," he offered.

"For what?"

"I antagonized the situation," he confessed.

"No, you didn't," Reid replied.

"Well, I certainly didn't help," he said, feeling incredulous with himself.

"Guess you didn't really help…" Reid allowed, a slight upturn to his lips told Hotch he'd been forgiven.

Hotch expelled another deep breath and with it came out some of what he was feeling, he just couldn't help it. "So, Hailey wants me to sign the divorce papers uncontested so nobody wastes money on lawyers…" He twisted the facts just a bit.

"You don't want to?" Reid questioned uncomfortably.

"What I want I'm not going to get…" he said, realizing that as more time passed the truer those words were becoming.

He'd wanted a happy marriage. That had gone out the window long ago. Now, he wanted an easy divorce; that was a fleeting option, too. The last thing he was holding onto was the woman he'd come to love. And it seemed that he was about to lose JJ, too.

"I'm sorry," Reid said unsurely. "Is there… is there anything I can do to help?"

Hotch glanced over at the younger man appreciatively. "Thanks Reid…. I'll let you know if there is…"

He would just have to do what he could and deal with whatever came along. As much as he'd tried, there was nothing he could do about Hailey's demands. He'd sign the papers and give her whatever she needed. And then, he'd speak with JJ and hope she still wanted him after all this.

* * *

JJ smiled to herself as she thought about Garcia's good fortune. Kevin's willingness to speak with Rossi was surely a good sign. A sign that he was all in. She was so happy for her eccentric best friend. That's what being with someone was supposed to be like, she mused to herself.

A knock came at her door, interrupting her thoughts. JJ groaned. She had a feeling she knew who it was already. "Come in," she called.

The door opened to reveal exactly who she'd suspected. "How was Connecticut?" she asked by way of greeting.

Aaron didn't look so good. He looked tired and pale as he came in to take the chair in front of her desk. A grim sounding sigh sounded from his lips.

"That good, huh?" she commented cynically as she came around her desk to lean against its top, wanting to be closer to him.

He let out another breath. She watched him reach for her hand; his eyes met hers for permission. She nodded her head. When he took her hand, a happy moan escaped her lips at his touch.

"I signed the papers," he revealed.

JJ's heart soared at the news and then fell just as quickly. She'd come to a sort of conclusion earlier. She didn't like it and she knew he wouldn't either. Too much still stood in their way.

It was time to move on.

Her eyes met Aaron's and she could see that he had a feeling of what she was about to say. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, JJ, for everything."

This time, she allowed him his apology, because this time she was sure it was over between them.

"Me too…" she began slowly, giving his hand a squeeze. "I…I … Aaron, I l—"

She cut herself off abruptly, knowing that if she said the words out loud and he somehow said them back, she wouldn't be able to see things through.

"I know," he said, giving her a sympathetic look. "Me too…" They weren't the words, but they were just as good. Tears came to her eyes.

"Aaron—" her voice broke. "I… I wanted this, you, so much. I… just can't anymore…"

He nodded his head. After a moment of silence, he asked, "So, what do we do now?"

She gave him a sad smile. "We move on…" It was his turn to grip her hand tighter. "We stay in each other's lives… as colleagues and friends."

"All… all right," he said shakily. He let go of her hand, standing up. She watched him turn around to go, when he turned back abruptly.

Aaron reached for her, she knew he wanted one last kiss, but she couldn't.

JJ held up her hand, blocking him. "No, I'm sorry."

Nodding, he resumed his stroll to the door.

"It's just—" she said, wiping at the tears falling from her eyes. "I'm afraid if we start I won't be able to stop… I won't be able to let you go…"

With that said, he opened the door and left. JJ fell to his vacated chair, breaking down into tears. It had been the right thing to do, she told herself yet again.

_But, God, did it feel so wrong…_

* * *

Ok, that's it for this one. Angst, angst and more angst, lol. I'm following the events of the show pretty closely, so they can't be _together_ together, just yet. I hope you all can hang in there with them.

Once again, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing: **HansonFanGermany; ishibby** _(thx for taking the time to read)_; **ReadingRed; spyagent001** _(Henry will be making an appearance soon);_ **whimsical-one-ga** _(thx for reviewing twice! Glad you liked);_ **beaglelover719** **(yay, for giving up morals, lol. j/k!);** **SwimmingInTheRain** _(it's funny as I just typed your penname it began to rain outside, lol.)_; **gibbsluvr; happysunshine01; Deeda; and JanPan.**

Hope you'll let me know what you think. Thanks again!

And a quick note from the moderators of the forum Chit Chat on Author's Corner (on fanfiction . net):

**THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review ALL information BEFORE submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HXChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards.**


	7. 2008, Part 3

**A/N:** Hey all! Sorry for the wait. I've had massive writer's block on all my fics and I had to resort to working on original stuff to attempt to get the muse going once again. Well, it finally worked. And so here I am with another chapter of One Night. I was again tempted to split this one into multiple parts due to its length, but I thought, you guys waited a while, might as well reward you with a long chapter, lol. Anyways, this one starts off during episode 3x18, The Crossing and continues on to 3x20, Lo-Fi. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 6:**

* * *

_**~ April, 2008 ~**_

JJ sat alone in her office, doing some miscellaneous work while waiting for her latest appointment of the day. She was meeting with a woman, Keri Derzmond, a victim of a potential stalker. And after reading the letter that she'd sent to the Silver Springs Police Department JJ felt that it was very important to help her.

She let out a distracted sounding sigh; she just wished she was able to devote all her mind power to the meeting. Worry consumed her, weighing on her mind heavily. Before she'd left her apartment this morning for work, she had had a sort of epiphany. JJ was late, very, very late. With all the cases they'd been taking she hadn't even realized it, until now… And now she had no idea what to do.

Glancing at the floor where her purse lay, open, next to her feet, she glimpsed the pregnancy test sitting inside. She'd stopped at her local pharmacy on the way to work to buy it, unable to wait until the end of the day. Of course, she hadn't been able to take it, yet. And with it approaching ten-thirty she would have to put it off a little longer.

"Hey, JJ, you ok?"

JJ jumped in her seat at the sound of the jarring voice. She glanced up at her door and found Emily standing there, looking concerned.

"Sorry… I knocked…" Emily explained.

She chuckled nervously. "That's ok… lost in thought, you know…"

"I get it," her friend assured. "Anything you want to talk about?"

_Umm… yeah… I might be pregnant, I might not… It might be Will's, it might be—_

Shaking her head furiously, she answered, "Uh no… no, I'm good. Just daydreaming…"

Emily continued to watch her curiously, not looking entirely convinced. "Yeah, I've had those moments… do you know where Rossi and Hotch are?"

"Hotch?" she exclaimed in a squeaky voice.

"_Yeah…_" the older woman drew out, "And Rossi…"

JJ took a conspicuous deep breath. God, she needed to control her nerves, otherwise everyone around her would start asking her uncomfortable, unanswerable questions.

"Oh… uh… terrorism seminar in Boston," she informed.

"I see…"

JJ breathed out a sigh of relief, realizing she could at least avoid Hotch for another day or so before having to confront him. Logic told her that she'd have to tell him. She couldn't not tell him. There was a huge possibility that this was his baby.

They'd been friendly lately, pretty much back to normal. Colleagues, acquaintances. This, she realized, was going to strain things between them once again.

"JJ?" Emily called out. She looked at her abruptly. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yeah… it's just this appointment I've got today…"

Grateful that she was able to distract her friend from her problems, the appointment would also do a good job of distracting her, too. JJ would lose herself in this potential case and, hopefully, figure out real life later.

* * *

"And there's nothing else pending…" Hotch spoke into his cell phone. He waited for Garcia to reply. "No… no… its ok. Uh we'll be back tomorrow, I'm going to need the rest of you back then as well… ok, thanks." He hung up.

"They're working a single stalker case?" Rossi wondered out loud and he affirmed it. "All of them?"

"Mm hmm… JJ seems pretty passionate about it…" he confided. God, he missed her. Things between them had finally settled back into semi-normalcy, but there was still apart of him that wished things between them were different.

Realizing he was on the verge of going into what he liked to call his JJ-funk, Hotch tried to draw himself out by focusing on the case he and Rossi had been asked to consult on.

He picked up a photograph of a deceivingly happy family, shaking his head slightly. "You know, sometimes you can see it, but uh… they all look pretty happy."

"Happiness is easy to fake when you only have a split second… you should see how many happy looking photos I have of me with my ex's," Rossi mused.

Hotch smirked, amused. "Were you ever happy in any of your marriages?"

"I don't know, maybe, maybe not… if I was, I can't remember. I'm not sure if um me and the idea of being married is a good mix."

"You kept trying?"

"Ah I didn't have any kids."

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked, suddenly on guard, unsure of how this conversation had gotten to this point.

"Well, I mean, I might have tried harder if there were children involved," his old friend said offhandedly.

Hotch's face fell, no longer amused. "I _tried_."

"Hotch, I—"

"I gave absolutely everything to Hailey and Jack and…" He looked down thinking of JJ. "… my job."

"So, something had to give," Dave added gently, but logically.

Hotch glanced up briefly. "Yeah…"

He'd come to terms with losing Hailey a long time ago and, in hindsight, she didn't seem that big of a loss anymore. He'd even come to accept, more recently, her demands—because, of course, it meant he was protecting Jack and JJ. But, out of all the things messed up in his life, he would never ever give up on his son.

"You're right… but it doesn't mean that I am any less committed or try any less hard for my son," Hotch stated adamantly, trying to convince himself as much as Dave.

"Hey, Hotch, what the hell do I know. The only people I've ever made happy were divorce lawyers."

He'd accepted it all. The only real regret he had now was losing JJ.

Hotch blew out a tired sigh. "Well, we've got four failed marriages between us, we're experts at something," Hotch attempted to joke, failing. "Where does it all go wrong?"

"Everybody has their breaking point. Your wife reached hers…"

Hotch didn't really care about Hailey anymore. He did care enough, though, about his failed marriage to wonder where it all went wrong, so that he could avoid similar mistakes in the future.

The question on his mind wasn't whether Hailey had reached her breaking point, but if JJ had. If she had, things were most certainly finished between them.

He sure hoped that wasn't the case. Hotch knew they'd agreed to end things, for a second time, but there was still a part of him that hoped they'd find their moment again.

* * *

JJ stepped out of the bathroom in a state of shock. The minute the team, minus Hotch and Rossi, had returned to the BAU she'd sequestered herself a stall in the ladies room. For twenty minutes she'd sat there, first gaining the courage to actually take the test, and then finally taking the test only to wait the five minutes for the results. When it came to checking the results, she was amazed at how a simple plus sign could weigh so quickly and heavily on her future.

The test was positive. She knew that people would tell her not to rely solely on a home test, but she'd had a gut feeling about the outcome and was pretty sure that it was accurate. And, well, three-months of an absent period _were_ pretty telling.

No, all she needed a doctor for was to tell her how far along she was. And that, in the end, would determine the possibility of Hotch being the father. Either way, she had to tell him what was going on.

Walking towards his office, she saw that a light was on inside. _Good_, she thought shakily. _He's still here…_

The door was slightly ajar, so she poked her head inside only to find him staring at a picture of Jack.

"Knock, knock," she said in a low voice, not wanting to startle him.

He looked up and smiled, putting the photo back on the desktop.

"You guys are back," she stated the obvious, smiling back nervously.

She stepped into the office, not waiting for an invitation, shutting the door behind her. Turning back around, he gave her a quizzical stare, but he made no comment on her actions.

"So," he said, as she took the seat in front of his desk. "A staking case?"

She gave him a sheepish look. "Hotch… I… I… we had to. This woman was desperate. I couldn't sit back and wait to hear about her death in the news. Not when we could help."

He held his hand up, motioning for her to stop. "No, you're right. You trusted your instincts and you caught a dangerous man, you did good, JJ."

"Uh…" she stumbled, warmed by the unexpected praise. "Thanks… Aaron."

JJ was caught even more off guard by the intense look he was giving her. It was a stare that she could only describe as loving. And, for a moment, the only thought in her brain was: _what if this baby really was Aaron's?_

A pleasant image of them bringing home the newborn to their home, flashed to mind. Things could be so perfect. If this baby was his… there was no way they couldn't be together.

"Seems like neither of us had an easy day…" he said, abruptly bringing her out of her happy thoughts. He looked troubled all of the sudden.

"The seminar not go well?"

He shook his head. "We were asked to assess the mental state of a woman who'd killed her husband. Turns out she was verbally and psychologically abused for a long time. Even her children had been used against her… It just made me wonder…."

"Wonder what?" she asked softly.

He looked up from his desktop, an emotion she couldn't really pinpoint burning in his eyes. "It just makes me wonder… when it all goes wrong…"

"Oh," she said, not able to contain her surprise. Were they actually talking about his failed marriage, now?

"I mean, I knew how it went wrong with Hailey… there was no way I could change or even fix things there. And now… well, I'm only sad for Jack's sake…" JJ tried her best to follow. She felt he was trying to tell her something. "And then with you—"

"With me?" she exclaimed, cutting him off.

"Yeah," he looked away, not meeting her eyes. "I managed to screw that up even before we even really had a chance."

"Aaron, I—"

"No, I understand. It was never the right time for us. I get it now," Hotch went on. "Maybe someday… but, for now, I'm going to put all my energy into Jack."

"Jack?" she squeaked out.

"Yeah," he said, throwing her yet another quizzical look. "He's been so confused lately. I'm just going to put all my energy into making sure he knows that I love him."

"Oh," she said again. His _other_ child. The one that was for sure his. "You're… you're right."

She stood up abruptly. She shouldn't have come.

"JJ?"

"No, Hotch, you're right. Jack needs you. More than ever. Make sure… make sure he knows that he has the best daddy in the world…"

She moved towards the door quickly, Hotch got up, sensing her running away vibe. "JJ, are you all right?"

"Oh, yeah, fine, I just… I just remembered I need to phone Will."

"Will?" he said, not hiding his slight disdain.

"Yeah." She'd phone Will, tell him she was pregnant and forget that there was ever a chance that the real man she loved was the father of her child.

Jack already had a morally questionable mother. He was going through a tough time. That little boy needed his father. She wouldn't be one more strain on Hotch's time. And her baby had her, a mother who would love them more than anything in the world.

And for a father, well… he'd have to settle for second best…

She opened the door, eager to make her exit.

"JJ," he said, halting her momentarily. She met his eyes, she could see how much he loved her. God, she loved him so much, too. It just wasn't enough. "Are you sure you're ok?"

She nodded her head and thought, _I will be…_

* * *

_**~ May, 2008 ~**_

"So, you're coming, right?" JJ said into her cell phone.

Will chuckled. "Yes, Jay, I'll be there."

She wrinkled her nose at the nickname he'd taken to calling her. He seemed to like it, and she couldn't bring herself to tell him she wasn't a fan. It could have been worse, though, he could have been calling her Jennifer or, God forbid, Jenny. "Just checking, just checking. We've got a lot of work to do."

She'd gone to the doctor and found out that she was about three months along. That totally left room for Hotch being the father. But at the same time, she'd slept with Will three short days after Hotch. The paternity could go either way.

JJ was content, however, in her decision to allow the child to be Will's. Hotch was happier these days, from what she knew Jack was adjusting and Hotch was devoting any free time he had to his son. And Will was more than ecstatic to be a father. So, if everyone else was happy then she would be too. Sure, she had her moments of doubt, but she always managed to push them aside. Life was ok right now. Why mess with it?

"So, uh, what's your flight number?"

"385," he answered. "The ten am flight. I can take a cab, JJ."

She smiled, clicking her pen. "No, I'm gonna pick you up…" They had no case. JJ was going to enjoy a few days away from the BAU and the ever present Aaron Hotchner.

"Fine, fine," he allowed.

"Yeah, exactly," she said, laughing when he gave in. "I can't have you free to pick out a crib without me—"

"JJ?" Quickly, she shut her mouth, glancing up at the door. It was Hotch! She put Will on hold. "Can you get the team together, we've got a case."

She looked around confusedly. "Uh, nothing's come across my desk."

A foot already out the door, he turned around to reply swiftly, "This one came directly to me." And then he was gone.

Must be a bad one, she mused. Breathing out an annoyed breath, she clicked Will back to life. "Uh, just don't head to the airport just yet. I'll call you as soon as I can."

"All right," Will said not hiding his own irritation.

She knew how he felt; she really wanted to get moving on this baby business too. But it would just have to wait just a bit longer. "Bye."

* * *

Hotch sat across from Reid and Rossi on the plane, waiting for everyone else to board before they could take off. He glanced at the front of the plane, seeing JJ sitting alone already.

She looked lost as she stared out the window. Something was most certainly on her mind. Lately, she seemed to be more than a little distracted. Whatever it was hadn't affected her ability to do her job. But he knew that it was only a matter of time before whatever she was worrying about finally got in the way.

And somehow he believed that whatever it was had to do, at least partially, with him. It wasn't his imagination that it seemed like she was having trouble meeting his gaze these days. He was worried for her and himself and had no idea what it could be.

The loud entrance of an excited Garcia, and an amused Morgan and Prentiss, drew his gaze from the pretty blonde. Now that everyone was on board, they began to discuss the New York City case. He spared one more worried look JJ's way as he asked her to ask the pilot to get them moving.

It was clear that he'd startled her out of some troubling thoughts. He vowed to make time soon to sit with her and figure out what was going on and what he could do to help.

"Joyner, I know her, she's a Brit, right?" Morgan commented on the woman leading up the case.

Kate Joyner was an old acquaintance of his. "Dual citizenship. Her father is British, her mother is American. She was a big deal at Scotland Yard before coming to the Bureau," he explained.

"I heard she can be a little bit of a pain in the ass," Morgan commented openly.

Hotch thought back to his days working with the accented blonde. Dedicated was a good way to describe her. He shook his head slightly. "I didn't think so."

"You know her?" Prentiss questioned.

"We liaised when she was still at Scotland Yard."

"And she's good?" Dave wondered.

Kate was one of the best. "I think we're lucky to have her."

The pilot came on then, cutting them off from further conversation. They all went about securing themselves for take-off, leaving him to his thoughts.

Kate reminded him a lot of himself. They both were so dedicated to their jobs, almost to the point of putting it before their own personal lives. In his case, he'd sacrificed his marriage for it. He knew from when he'd met Kate that she'd sacrificed her relationship with her parents. They'd both lost something because of their determination. It would sure be interesting to see her again.

His eyes, once again, fell on a pensive looking JJ. He glanced around the plane, it was doubtful that they'd get a private moment alone to talk. _Maybe at the hotel…_ So he settled on seeing her later that night and went back to discussing the case now that they were in the air.

* * *

Hotch's eyes had been on her the entire plane ride. He knew something was up with her. Why, oh, why could she not shake off this bad feeling all of the sudden? Ever since he'd come into her office and told her that they had a case she'd felt anxious. A feeling… almost like something bad was about to happen.

She hated feeling like this and she especially hated it because it was completely irrational. JJ really needed to shake it off because Hotch was already suspicious. And it was only a matter of time before everyone else was asking what was wrong too.

As surreptitiously as she could, JJ took a deep breath as the elevator doors opened to a busy floor. They walked off and were instantly intercepted by a familiar looking blonde.

"Is it just me or does she look exactly like Hailey?" she whispered to Garcia, unable to hold her tongue.

She and Garcia shared an amused look as Hotch and Agent Joyner greeted each other familiarly. Not wasting any time, they went on to discuss the case, meeting the two lead NYPD detectives. It was clear there was tension between the Brit and the New Yorkers. JJ figured she could give the woman a pointer or two in keeping the local law enforcement happy.

She found the whole situation amusing until Joyner asked to have a word with Hotch in private. She didn't know what it was—maybe the way she leaned her body into Hotch's unnecessarily—but she was suddenly not so amused.

"They um _liaised_ when she was at Scotland Yard," Emily felt the need to inform her. The way she emphasized liaised had JJ's stomach doing uncomfortable flips.

"Ah… of course," she replied, forcing herself to put an amused, curious look on her face.

But as she watched them enter the conference room together, she couldn't help the trepidation she felt. They knew each other from before… and well, she looked like Hailey. And he'd married Hailey!

Oh God, she was jealous! She absolutely had no right to be. And yet, she was. _**Come on, JJ, what, you didn't think he'd go celibate, did you?**_ _No, but…_ God, she hadn't thought that it would be this hard to see him with someone else. And now she wondered if it was this hard for him to see her with Will.

"JJ," Morgan's voice drew her to the here and now. "Coming?"

She looked away from the sight of Hotch and Agent Joyner having a bit of an intense conversation. She had to stop getting distracted.

"Uh… yeah…"

* * *

Hotch, along with JJ, Reid, and Prentiss, walked the path up to their hotel. They were going to attempt to get a few hours' sleep before getting back at it in the morning. He was also going to try to talk to JJ.

He touched her arm gently, getting her attention; she glanced behind her with wide blue eyes. Hotch beckoned her closer, still keeping up with Reid and Emily, but still far enough away so that he could whisper to her without anyone else hearing.

"Talk? My room, fifteen minutes?" he questioned concernedly.

She shot him a bit of a nervous, hesitant look, but nodded in resignation. And then she was pushing forward.

Entering the hotel, Emily picked up a newspaper and they all wondered at the media's ability to keep up with them.

"JJ…" Reid said wonderingly. Hotch followed the young doctor's nod and JJ turned around, seeing Will at the exact second that he did.

The man was sitting in a lobby chair, a small suitcase sitting nearby. He looked like he'd been there for quite a while. And just what the hell was he doing here, now, Hotch had no clue.

"Will," JJ said, her voice monotone. Hotch suspected she was moderating her tone for the exact fact that she had three sets of eyes on her, including his.

They followed behind her; apparently, he wasn't the only one curious about the New Orleans native's sudden presence. The shorter man approached them too.

"I took a shot and flew to D.C. but it didn't work, figured a train ride to New York was only a few more hours…"

Hotch quickly put on a puzzled, but somewhat welcoming look on his face. "Detective," he greeted, as he shook the younger man's hand.

It was all an act, though, on the inside his heart was plummeting; it was one thing knowing that she was dating the police detective, another thing completely seeing them together.

"I'm sorry for showing up like this; I know you're working… but um…" He glanced at JJ. "I can't stand you being on this case and me not being there… not with what's going on…"

Hotch looked between the two, confused as always. JJ seemed to be censuring Will with her eyes. But it was too late.

"Is there a problem?"

JJ continued to look at Will in annoyed disbelief. She let out a sigh and then turned around to face Reid and Prentiss, once again not meeting his gaze. "I—I'm… pregnant…"

_What?_

"Oh my God, JJ! Congratulations," Emily gushed.

Hotch was drawn away from staring at the woman he loved by Will's next gut-wrenching words.

"I've asked JJ to marry me—"

"Will!" JJ cut him off, glancing at Hotch before quickly looking away.

"We're working out some kinks…"

Hotch needed to get out of there and fast. He needed to process this news alone. As calmly as possible, he said, "We'll uh… give you both some privacy…"

And then as quickly as he could, he turned away, going as fast as possible without actually running, towards the elevators.

"Hotch," JJ's hesitant voice called to him.

No, he did not want to do this right now in front of everyone. But he couldn't ignore her when Reid and Emily's eyes were on them.

Turning around, he said, "JJ, you could have told me."

"I know," she said swiftly.

"So, I understand…" he continued, not resisting a glance down at her belly. Still flat, he observed. "… if you need to take some time…"

He almost hoped she'd say yes. This was… heartbreaking.

"No, I… I want to be here."

"Ok," he said solemnly. "Seven am."

She nodded her head, looking like she wanted to say more. But he couldn't just stand there anymore; he needed to be in his room and fast. The ride up the elevator was excruciatingly long. He practically rushed the last few feet to his hotel room door.

Once inside, he cursed angrily, "Fuck!" throwing off his suit jacket, sending it across the room.

How could this be happening? It was like… it was like his world was falling apart all over again.

Knowing about Will, he could handle. Hell, he could even handle seeing her with him. But, this… a baby? A baby changes everything.

He let out a disgusted snort as he thought acerbically, _Now I know why she's been so distracted lately. God…_

Taking a few steps towards his bedside, another horrible thought flitted into his head, actually more like a voice echoing through his head. "I asked JJ to marry me… I asked JJ to marry me…"

Before he knew what he was doing, his hand sideswiped the lamp on the nightstand. It hit the far wall with a very loud crash. Slumping down onto the bed, he stared at the damage that he'd done. Putting his head into his hands, he wondered at what the hell had gotten into him.

A broken heart, that's what…

_**What did you think would happen?**_ a snobby voice, that sounded suspiciously like Dave's, said in his head. _**Did you really think that this relationship with Will would just magically go away? And that, what, you two would magically get together?**_

_Yes, yes, I did..._ He realized, now, what a fool he'd been.

He breathed out a breath as he fell back onto the bed. "God," he groaned out loud. This was horrible.

A knock came at the door, jolting him back up. "What the hell?" he said crossly.

Without thinking, he made his way to the door, opening it quickly, ready to give whoever it was a piece of his mind.

"JJ," he said sharply. "No, no I can't do this right now. I can't pretend to be happy for you; I can't say congratulations and mean it right now."

At her silence, he glanced at her face and saw that she looked thoroughly dumbstruck. "I thought… I thought you wanted to talk?"

He let out a sigh, forcing himself to remain calm. "Yeah, before, when I had no idea what was on your mind, now… now I know. And I'm sorry, I just… can't…"

JJ nodded her head. Looking hurt, but understanding. She turned halfway, ready to go. "I… I just…" she stuttered. "I just… thought that you'd have some questions…"

"Questions?" he asked, once again sharply.

Her bright blue eyes widened in surprise and… fear.

Why would he have questions? The last thing he wanted to do was ask her about her pregnancy with a man that wasn't—_Holy crap! _

"Inside, now," he demanded.

Somewhat meekly—a look, he decided, he did not like on her—she entered his room and he shut the door behind them.

"Sit down, JJ," he told her.

"I'm ok," she protested.

"Humor me," he said somewhat unkindly. He waited as she sat on the edge of his bed, frowning all the way. He sat down in the chair by the bedside and then shot back out of it. There was no way he could sit for this. Pacing, she watched him silently, apparently waiting for him to make the first move.

He paused in step, turning to gaze down at her. "How far along are you?"

"About three months," she answered readily.

"That would mean… January," he said, doing the math in his head. "In my office…"

She nodded.

A thought suddenly struck him. "JJ, we didn't use any protection!"

"I know," she replied. "But, I was on the pill."

He gave her a derisive look. "We both know there's no one hundred percent infallible birth control method…"

She didn't say anything to that. And so he continued pacing lost in his thoughts. This baby could be his and she'd kept it from him for—

"How long have you known?" he asked her quickly.

"About a month."

"A month!" he exploded. "A month, JJ? When were you going to tell me?" The look on her face said it all. "You weren't, were you? How could you do this to me? I thought you lo—"

She stood up quickly, closing the distance between them. He took a step back, not trusting himself right then. He was more angry now then he could ever remember being in his entire life. But, she wouldn't let him get away. "I do… I do lo—"

"No," he stopped her. "Please don't."

She let it go, resignedly. Looking down at her feet she said in a small voice. "I did try to tell you… I wanted to… but, when I came to you, you were talking about how Jack needed you, and I… I couldn't take you away from him."

He let out a sigh, exuding his anger with it. Gently, he lifted her chin so that she met his eyes. "But, this baby," he began softly. "It could be mine?"

"Yes."

"So, you weren't taking me away from Jack, but you were keeping me away from this baby?" he said accusatorily.

"Aaron… I'm sorry," JJ lamented. "I didn't know what to do."

"You should have started off by telling me."

She stepped away from him, giving him a resolute look. "All I can say now is I'm sorry, Aaron. If I could go back in time… I don't know if I'd do things differently," she said honestly.

Hotch turned his back on her, unsure of how to respond to that. "I don't know what to do," he said into the air.

Hearing her footsteps, her voice came from farther across the room. "I'm going to go to bed, let you think about. We'll… we'll talk later…"

The next thing he heard was the door opening and closing. He whirled around and found that she had indeed gone and left him alone. The things he'd just said to her replayed in his mind and he found himself wondering why he was such an idiot. He'd been so harsh. Surely, she had her reasons; she'd said so herself, Jack was the reason. She was putting his son first… but was that a good enough reason to potentially keep him from another child?

God, what the hell were they going to do?

* * *

JJ couldn't believe they were in the midst of another terrorism attack aimed at New York City. Things were becoming serious, fast. They'd just finished hearing that the un-subs had hacked into the crime scene cameras. They were being watched this entire time and they hadn't even known it.

"We need to hit the ground running," Joyner said urgently.

"I'm going head to the hospital, I'll check on Cooper, and brief Detective Bruston," Emily spoke up.

"Good. Dave, will you go talk to the commissioner and Morgan, you brief Homeland Security," Hotch gave out orders.

"JJ and I will talk to Port Authority Police," Reid offered quickly.

"Kate and I will go talk to the mayor. We'll meet back here as soon as possible," Hotch finished.

Everyone moved quickly to where they were headed. There was no hesitation on anyone's part. JJ was just about to head out with Reid when she received a package from Shelly, another agent.

She opened it up and pulled out a single yellow, lined sheet of paper just as Reid intercepted her.

"From Will?" he asked her.

She read the note quickly, trying to make sense of it while talking to Reid. "Uh… he's going home to New Orleans tonight."

"You ok?"

"He doesn't want to be in the way…"

There was something else inside the envelope. She pulled it out and was amazed to find his badge. When they'd been talking earlier he didn't seem like he wanted to relent on the issue of her quitting her job for the baby's sake. And now he was doing the exact thing he wanted of her.

"He's quitting his job?"

She looked up at Reid's confused face, as struck by this as he was. It was then that Hotch joined them. She knew he was still angry at her and that they still needed to talk, but she couldn't be out there in the field, not anymore. She would risk his displeasure for her baby.

"Do you need everyone in the field?" she asked.

He glanced at her solemnly, looking like he really wanted to talk then and there, but instead, he surprised her by saying, "Reid, you can go brief Port Authority Police by yourself. JJ, you run point from the office. Why don't you go back to the hotel and tell Will what's going on and get back here straight away."

She looked at him in surprise. She blinked away the tears that threatened to spill. She could see in his eyes that he was not happy with this. But, he was doing it for her. "Yes, sir."

"And JJ," he said stopping her. "Congratulations."

She smiled at the bittersweet-ness of the sentiment and was on her way.

* * *

JJ couldn't sit still; she glanced over at a sleeping Emily, wondering if she could sneak away without being noticed. Will was still in New York, but she'd told him she wanted to stay with Emily because she'd been shaken by this case. A lie. But she hadn't been able to bring herself to sleep in the same bed as him, not with Hotch in a room nearby, sleeping alone.

She wanted to go to him, badly. Logically, she knew he was all right, she'd seen him with her own two eyes. Cuts and bruises, yeah, and a ruptured eardrum, but still for the most part he was physically fine. But there was a big difference between physically and mentally. And after going through all that, plus losing a friend… well, she wouldn't want to be alone if she were in his shoes.

It was decided. She'd go see him, see if he was all right, at least, since she knew she was probably the last person on earth he wanted to speak to right now. JJ climbed off the bed; she was still fully clothed, so it was just a quick exit out of her room and a short walk down the hall to Hotch's room.

Before she could change her mind, she was knocking on his door. JJ waited mere seconds before the door opened to reveal a very tired, disheveled, in a need of a lot of TLC, Hotch. He looked absolutely miserable and she just wanted to pull him to her, hug him and vow to make things all right. Instead, she gave him a small sympathetic smile as he wordlessly held the door open for her.

"I came to see how you're doing," she broke the silence.

He let out a sigh. "I've had better days…"

She looked down demurely. "I'm sorry about Kate…"

"Me too," was all he said.

She watched him silently take a seat in his bed, stretching his legs out before him. Almost reluctantly, he gestured for her to join him. She smiled, taking a seat by him, mimicking his position. JJ almost rolled her eyes when he suddenly brought the covers up over her legs. _And it begins… _she thought amusedly.

"Why aren't you with Will right now?" he asked her.

Surprised, she glanced up to see that he was watching her intently. "I… I couldn't be there… not tonight… it didn't feel right…"

She had no real way of explaining why it didn't feel right. That's all she knew, that being with Will at that moment wasn't where she was supposed to be. But, this moment, now, felt true.

"JJ," he started, but paused momentarily, as if working up the courage. "What if this baby is mine? What then?"

Shyly, she answered his question with a question. "Would you like it to be yours?"

"More than anything in this world," he replied adamantly, shocking her.

"Then… then we'll figure it out, we'll make it work, you and me… and the baby," she answered tentatively, as if saying it would somehow nullify the dream, the wish.

"And if it isn't?"

A sad look overcame her face. She realized that, yeah, she'd said she accepted the fact that Will would be the child's father, but deep down, she hadn't come to terms with that. She'd always believed that the child she was carrying was Hotch's. It hurt to think that the baby wasn't theirs.

"If it isn't… well, you've got Jack to think about… and I'll have a baby and Will…" she let that statement trail off, letting him make of it what he wanted, while she too contemplated what that would mean for her.

"You don't think if this baby is Will's that we could still be together?" he wondered, surprise evident in his voice.

She so wanted to believe that they could. But, she knew it would be tough. "I don't know anything… all I know, is that when you thought I was definitely carrying Will's baby, well… it was hard for you to even look at me…"

"That's not fair," he protested. "I'd just found out… I needed time to process."

"Yeah, and you went to your room and you processed by throwing a lamp across the wall." She pointed at the broken thing still on the ground from the day before.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair, messing up his usual perfectly groomed head of hair. "I'm sorry. I know… that sounds lame. There's not much more I can say. All I know is that I love you, and I would give anything to try again with you, my baby or not…"

Her heart melted. It was the first time he'd said the words to her out loud. Will loved her, but this felt completely different. This love was all consuming.

"I love you, too." A moment later she was grimacing. "But—"

"But?" he said in surprise.

She put a hand over his, urging him to give her a moment. "But, for now, I've still got Will and a baby whose father I don't know… and you've got Jack to worry about… let's find out who's baby this is before we decide about us…"

"It's not going to affect how I feel," he replied steadfastly.

She knew he said that now. But… she just wanted to give him the option of an easy out.

"I know… I just want us to be sure…" she said lamely.

"All right… how soon can you know?"

"The doctor said we could do amniocentesis during the third trimester and do a DNA test then," she explained. "But, that has risks for the baby… minor ones, but still… I'd feel more comfortable if we could wait until after the baby is born."

"Of course," he agreed readily.

JJ was pleased by how cooperative he was being all of the sudden. But, she guessed he really had needed time to process. Either way, she was glad to have her calm and collected Hotch back.

Now, that the weight of paternity tests seemed to be off her shoulders for now, she felt tired suddenly. She allowed herself to lie back on his bed, sighing contently. Hotch followed suit, a moment later, surprising her by gently laying his head against her stomach, so that his ear was pressed against her shirt.

"I can't believe we might have made a baby…" he said wondrously.

Her hand went to his hair, and she allowed her fingers to run through the crisp strands over and over. "Yeah…" she murmured, echoing his awe-filled tone.

In that moment, what was the harm in believing wholeheartedly in this child being theirs?

"If it's a boy, what would you name it?" he questioned lightly.

"Henry, after my father," she confessed. "And if it were a girl, what would you call her?"

"I've always liked the name Kennedy…" he said.

She laughed. "Just because he was your favorite president doesn't mean his name makes a good first name…"

"What, I like it," he protested. "Ok fine, what about, Olivia?"

Her face lit up at that. It was a beautiful name. "I like it," she said softly, on the verge of sleep, regardless. "And she'd have your dark hair…"

"And your blue eyes," Hotch added. "She'd be beautiful…"

They went silent at that, falling asleep to thoughts of little Olivia Jareau-Hotchner…

* * *

Well that's it for this chapter. I think my longest chapter to date of anything I've ever written. Wow, that was a lot of typing… That was (finally) it for 2008. We're moving on to Season 4, the season of Foyet… and don't worry, I won't leave you in suspense too long over Henry's paternity… at this moment (since the next chapter is as yet still unwritten) it can go either way, but will definitely be revealed next chapter.

Thanks to everyone who has, read, alerted and thanks to those who have reviewed: **happysunshine101; KBRC** _(here you go. :) And if you're like the Jotch pairing, check out some of my other Jotch fics. Thanks.);_ **HansonFanGermany** _(yeah, I don't think she's anyone's favorite person after that chapter. Thx for the review!);_ **spyagent01** _(yep, they most definitely do);_ **Guest; Reading Red** _(Sorry… Soon, maybe… ok, probably not… since I'm taking this up to the current season, but it will be good, I promise);_ **12635397** _(still up in the air); _**samcarter1980; ncis4ever21; Jotchprossi18; ilovetvalot; and beaglelover719.**

So, attempting to keep this post A/N brief, but failing, I've got one last message from Chit Chat on Author's Corner Forum:

**THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review ALL information BEFORE submitting your nomination ballot. ****Nomination ballots must be received by October 15, 2012. Fics for consideration must have appeared on the CM section of between September 1, 2011, and August 31, 2012 (see rules for full details.)**


	8. 2009, Part 1

**A/N:** Hey all! So sorry for the long wait. I was having some trouble getting this chapter down. I said before that I want to fit this story in with the show's timeline, but I was having some trouble making it happen. So, in the end, I'm sticking with the show's events but kind of messing with the timeline, not the order, just how far apart certain events would be. Once, I did that this chapter, finally, pretty much wrote itself. I hope you'll enjoy.

And one last quick note, I'm happy to say that this story was nominated twice in the Profiler's Choice Awards on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for Best JJ/Hotch and Best M-rated story. I just wanted to say thanks to those who nominated this story and made that possible. I appreciate it greatly! Final voting is going on now.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 7: **

* * *

_**~ January, 2009 ~**_

JJ poured Will a cup of coffee early that morning. She gave him a smile as he entered the kitchen, holding her precious baby boy.

She held out the cup to him. "Trade ya."

Will smiled back, handing Henry to her, taking the proffered cup. JJ cradled her son close, looking down into his blue eyes that were all her. From time to time she got lost in his face, wondering if his chin or nose or some other feature was Will's or Hotch's. She let out a sigh. They still didn't know.

"You ok?" Will asked, grabbing a bagel and biting into it.

Things were strained between them lately, but she still found it uncanny that he knew her so well. She guessed there was a reason why she'd attempted—and had, she guessed—a relationship with the Louisiana native.

"I'm fine," she replied simply.

She could see her answer wasn't satisfying to him. One reason their relationship had been so stressed was because of the fact that Will believed that she was holding something back from him. And what could she really say, she was. For now, it was for his own good.

They'd had many arguments where he asked her to talk to him. And she hadn't. The problem was she couldn't talk to him. If she did, she'd let on the fact that Will may not be her baby's father. Something she wanted to avoid telling him until she had to.

"So," he went on, pointedly ignoring the fact that he wasn't happy. "What's on the agenda for today?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe a visit to the team…"

There was no maybe about it. She _had_ to see them today. Well, she had to see _him_ today.

"Say hi to them for me," Will stated, seemingly finished with the stilted conversation. He turned to leave.

She watched him turn away from her, at a loss at what to do. JJ hadn't told him yet that her son quite possibly wasn't his. She didn't want to unnecessarily upset him. And she guessed that was one reason why she was still living with him instead of being with the one she loved.

_Aaron_, she thought sadly. She'd seen him maybe three times since Henry had been born two months ago. It hurt to not see him, but she knew he had his reasons for keeping his distance.

JJ pulled an envelope from her back pocket. She stared down at it. It had been in the mail this morning; she'd been looking for it every day for a week.

_Today_, today she'd see him. And they'd finally know the truth.

* * *

Hotch sat alone on the plane, tired. He couldn't wait to get home. He'd be getting Jack this weekend and he had a lot planned for them to do together. The only downside was he'd have to see Hailey. Ever since she'd essentially blackmailed him, he'd let conversation between them dwindle to a minimum and only ever about Jack.

_Jack_, he thought wistfully. _His son…_ Whenever he thought about him, his thoughts automatically went to Henry. His potential other son. He'd seen the infant maybe three or four times since he'd been born. Nonetheless, he loved him, just as much as he loved Jack.

Hotch remembered the day he'd been born. He, _not Will_ had been the one to drive JJ to the hospital. He, _not Will_, had been the one to check her in. And he had been at her side as she gave birth to Henry, while Will was off on some case he was working.

It had been a beautiful, miraculous day. One he'd gotten to share with her in private, thankfully, as Garcia had been attempting to track Will down. The moment he'd seen Henry's red cheeks he'd fallen in love with the little boy. He swore then that he'd love him no matter what, and do everything in his power to keep him happy and safe.

He was grateful for those hours he'd gotten to spend alone with JJ and the short time alone he'd had with Henry. Because, all too soon, Will was there and he'd had to go back to pretending like he was pleased that his co-worker, not soul-mate, had had a baby. It hurt like hell. But she'd asked him to keep pretending until they knew for sure.

Now, two months later, every moment apart from the baby was a moment he was aching. But, even so, he'd been purposefully keeping his distance. Pretending, he'd figured out, got harder and harder with every time he saw the Henry. If he were to do so, he had to keep away.

He let out an exhausted breath just as Rossi grabbed a seat across from him.

"What's up?" he asked perceptively.

"Nothing, why?" he denied.

Rossi shrugged. "You've got that 'weight of the world on your shoulders' look on your face. In fact, it's been an almost permanent fixture on you lately. Want to talk about it."

"No," he said promptly and firmly. He should have known, however, that his best friend wasn't one to take no as a final answer.

"Is it Jack? Hailey?" Rossi questioned. He could see him eyeing him carefully, trying to gauge his reaction, he guessed.

"No, it's not. It's… personal, Dave."

He hoped, once again, that would dissuade him, but, of course, it didn't.

"Not Jack, not Hailey. And it's not a case, hmm…." Dave's face lit up. "Are you having woman troubles?"

Only David Rossi would get excited over him having potential problems with a lady.

"If I say yes will that shut you up?" he posed to him, knowing full well what his answer would be.

"No," he replied good-naturedly. "Who is it? And what's wrong?"

He frowned. What had he gotten himself into? "It's no one," he said, inwardly wincing at calling JJ no one. She wasn't no one, she was everything to him. "And it's complicated."

Rossi raised an eyebrow at him. "It can't be no one _and_ be complicated, those are two contradictory things. What's going on, maybe I can help?"

It was his turn to look at him skeptically. He was pretty sure he didn't need the advice of a three-time divorcee on relationships. "Let's just say…" Hotch began searching for something to give him that would sate his interest for now. "There is someone, but because of pre-existing circumstances we've chosen to remain apart…"

"What are those pre-existing circumstances?"

"I can't say. I'd be betraying her trust if I said more," he responded, knowing that using the trust card would quiet the experienced profiler.

Rossi sighed. "All right… but I hope you two can work it out."

He allowed a small smile. "We're trying."

"Good," his friend said happily. "I'm glad you're trying. You deserve to be happy."

"Thanks." He watched him move on to sit next to Prentiss, his next victim, he mused.

He did deserve to be happy. And so did JJ. He hoped they'd be able to share their happiness together, soon.

* * *

JJ sat in the silent BAU conference room, musing at how different it was when there weren't photos of murder victims plastered on the walls and screens. It was just another room like any other, right then. One she was waiting in for her friends to return from their case in Orange County

She would have waited in Hotch's office, but that would have looked strange to her friends, she was sure. And besides, seeing them was an added bonus to this purposeful trip. On top of that, she would get to make some cheerful memories for herself—and hopefully her team—in the room that was witness to so many grisly things.

Leaning forward in her seat, she checked on Henry in his car seat, sitting on the table. Pacifier in his mouth, he looked to have fallen asleep. Garcia had gone to warm up a bottle for him. But it looked like they wouldn't need it just yet.

With Henry fast asleep and Garcia nowhere in sight, she slid the envelope out of her purse, twirling it nervously in her hands. She still hadn't opened it yet. Though, she'd held it up to the light, trying to get a peek at what was in store for them, all she'd been able to discern was the hospital's logo. It was for the best; she had decided to open it with Aaron present. They'd waited two long months to know the truth and they'd find out together. It was only right.

She looked up at her baby to see that his blue eyes were open and on her. Henry was watching her so intently, so Hotch-like. It made her hold her breath for a second.

Quickly, she unhooked him from the car seat's restraints, cradling him close. It amazed her every time. How all her troubles with Will and Hotch, and their situation could all melt into the background just at simply holding her son. Life seemed peachy perfect when she held Henry.

"Today's the day," she whispered, kissing his forehead.

Two months of living in uncertainty and tension would come to an end when they read the results. She would finally know if dreams do come true. She would finally be able to leave Will and be with Aaron without feeling like they were doing something wrong.

It had been too long since she'd seen Aaron last and she found herself excited at the prospect of seeing him today. She knew he was keeping his distance on purpose. She knew this was hard on him. That it was hard to be around Henry and pretend that he may not be the father. She'd asked that of him and it broke her heart knowing she was the one hurting him. But Will didn't know anything and she didn't want to blindside him with news of the paternity test if there was a chance that he could still be Henry's father.

She'd decided that once she and Aaron knew for sure she'd tell Will everything. For now, she'd live the lie that kept almost everyone happy. She and Hotch being apart when they knew they wanted to be together was torturous. And today was the day that would hopefully come to an end.

Two months was too long living in uncertainty. It shouldn't have gone on for so long. She and Aaron had managed to have a private word alone with the doctor right after Henry was born. They'd arranged to have a DNA test done right away. But ten days later, instead of getting the results, she'd gotten a phone call saying that the lab had messed up the test and they'd have to do it again. But, before Hotch could get to the hospital, he'd been called away on a case, setting them back another week and a half. And then when he'd returned, Will suddenly wanted to visit his mother in New Orleans.

His mother was doing poorly so she hadn't been able to put him off. Three weeks in the Mardi Gras town had been agony. The second she'd returned, she'd called Aaron and they'd finally gotten to the hospital to do the test.

JJ remembered that day. Hotch had been all pensive frowns. And when she'd tried to ask him what was wrong he'd just shaken his head and told her that he was glad they were finally doing the test. It made her wonder if he thought she was purposefully avoiding the test. She wasn't. There was nothing she wanted more in this world than to know definitively her son's paternity. Whatever it said, in the end, they'd all be able to move on with their lives and she and Aaron could finally be together.

Henry stirred in her arms, popping the pacifier from his mouth. He let out a little cry. Before it got any further she stood up to pace the room, rocking him side to side. It wasn't too long after that that she was brought out of her thoughts by Spencer entering the room.

"What are you doing here?" he announced, surprised.

He wasn't alone. Emily entered behind him, gasping out her own pleased shock. "JJ!"

She smiled warmly as her friend's filed into the room. "Garcia said you guys were on your way back tonight; thought you could use the surprise." She held up Henry for all to see as they crowded around her.

Her eyes landed on the one person who meant the world to her. Hotch held back from the fray causing her anxiety to resurface. She tried her best not to frown.

"Hi," Emily crooned to Henry as they all stared at him in wonder.

All but Hotch. He seemed to only have eyes for her. "I thought I gave you strict orders to get this place out of your head for a while," he said.

Though his tone was stern, and his posture standoff-ish, she was relieved to see the glint of amusement in his dark brown eyes, putting her slightly at ease.

She tilted her head at him, attempting to convey with her gaze alone the reason why she was here. She knew he understood when he looked to Henry momentarily and then back at her in question.

"My bad," Garcia said, making her way inside with Henry's long-lost bottle. "I couldn't help myself. Here, I heated up. Room temp., right?"

She chuckled, staring down at her son. "I just realized with all that we do and see in this room, we never smiled. I wanted at least one good memory to hold onto."

Morgan stepped around Reid just then. "Excuse me, kid," he said, coming to stand before JJ. "Um, JJ, can I?"

Astonished, she nonetheless said, "Yeah… of course."

She handed Henry off to the burly man while Garcia and Emily fretted over his baby holding technique. JJ looked on in amusement, slowly falling back towards Hotch.

"I got him…I got him… look, look, look, what's he doing? He is smiling at Derek Morgan," he announced proudly.

Garcia and Emily shared a look before proclaiming at the same time. "Gas."

Standing next to Aaron, she couldn't just then say what she'd come to say. But as she looked up at him, she was star-struck by the tender smile on his face as he watched Henry. It pleased her greatly.

"You're smiling," she observed, not helping her own smile.

He gave her a quick look and said, "Gas."

She chuckled at his rare joke.

He tore his gaze from Henry to look at her intently. "We miss you."

JJ felt warmness trickle through her at his words. She knew he meant that _he_ missed her, but was being discreet. She hoped today would be the day they'd fix the distance between them.

She let her eyes meet his meaningfully. She'd missed him so much, too.

They stood like that, together but not touching, watching the team pass around Henry. Sometime later, before Hotch could get a chance to hold Henry, he was excusing himself.

JJ watched his retreating back. Oh, how she wanted to go after him, but she knew her attention was needed here. She let out a sigh; she'd just have to hope he'd gotten her meaning before and would be waiting for her.

* * *

Hotch sat back in his office chair, letting out a strained sounding breath. Seeing JJ today really made him realize how long they'd been apart. _Too long._

_God, she was beautiful. And Henry, oh man, if there was a more perfect looking baby he'd never seen _one; _his only equal could have possibly been a baby Jack. _

Each time he laid eyes on the infant it only fueled the fatherly instincts in him more. It was hard to hide the love he felt for Henry and almost impossible to disguise it while holding him. Hence his leaving before someone suggested he hold him. Besides, he knew she'd stop by before she left. He had a feeling JJ had something important to tell him.

He hoped it was the long awaited results of the paternity test that she had to share with him. For two long months he'd lived with the feeling of knowing he had another son out there. But at the same time living with a fear that his instincts were wrong.

It was frustrating, knowing something but not really knowing it.

It wasn't anyone's fault, really, the delay, but that didn't mean he wasn't ecstatic that she was here to finally end his unease.

A welcome knock came at his door interrupting his conflicted thoughts. He hurried to answer it with a called out, "Come in." Relief washed over him when JJ poked her head inside.

"Hey," she greeted slowly.

A smile came to his face when he saw that she'd brought Henry with her, too. "Hi," he replied.

She stepped inside, Henry cradled against her shoulder. She turned, giving him a glimpse of his plump cheek pressed against her shoulder. He was sleeping. "This little guy is all worn out, I think," she mused, warmly. She shut the door behind her, coming to take a seat in front of his desk.

Now that they were alone, Hotch didn't want there to be any space between them. He came around the desk to lean against it in front of her and Henry. "And how's his mother doing?"

He wanted to reach out, to touch her, but he held back. She was still with Will, and he'd need to know what was up with that before acting out on his feelings.

She tilted her head to the side, running her cheek across Henry's shoulder. Motherhood suited her, he thought, looking at her with fondness. "I'm good, really," she answered contently. But a second later her focus landed on him and she was frowning. "You didn't stick around very long back there."

He tore his gaze from hers, looking to the side. "You know why, JJ…" They'd discussed his distance over the phone a few times. She knew his reasons.

From the corner of his eye, he saw her nod. "We're alone now…"

He turned to look at her and then the sleeping infant. "JJ… can I… can I hold him?"

"Aaron," she replied softly. "You never have to ask. He's y—" She cut herself off. He knew what she was about to say. But the fact was they didn't know, not yet.

Gently, she peeled Henry from her and slowly placed him in his outstretched arms. When the weight of Henry's tiny body settled against him, he was struck by how right everything suddenly felt.

Henry stirred in his sleep, letting out a few mewls of protest. But just as quickly he settled back down, giving Hotch the impression of an angel baby. A moment later, Henry's eyes began to flutter open. And then, finally, familiar blue orbs zeroed in on him. "JJ," he breathed out in wonder. He was speechless for a moment. Henry watched him as if he were his whole world.

JJ's hand reached out to caress her baby's soft cheek, like she couldn't stand not being in contact with him. And then her fingers trailed over his, squeezing his fingers lightly.

He looked up to find her watching him. "He's beautiful, JJ. He's all you."

Her eyes darted back to her son. Hotch watched her watch Henry, searching. He didn't have to wait long to know what she was looking for.

"I got the results," she said, still looking at Henry. Her hand dropped though, to pull something from her pocket. An envelope, he could see. Unopened.

"You didn't open it?" he questioned.

Her gaze met his in surprise. "I wanted to be here with you."

He nodded. They'd talked about this before. But still, he had a hard question to ask her first. "And what about Will?"

"What do you mean?"

She was still keeping this from Will, he knew. He thought that the man had a right to know what was going on. She said she didn't want to unnecessarily cause him pain. So it begged the question: if the results conclusively said Henry was Will's, then what would happen between them? He decided to find out.

When JJ made to open the envelope, he used one hand to halt her. "Wait."

She stopped, giving him a confused look.

"I love you, JJ," he told her.

She gave him a tender smile. "I love you, too."

He let out a sigh. "But… you're still with Will," he added. She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up that same hand, asking her to wait. He needed to say what he had to say. "What happens if when you open that envelope and you read the results it turns out that Henry—" He looked down at the boy, still watching him. He smiled at him. "—is Will's? What happens between us then? I need to know, JJ."

Her bright cerulean eyes widened in shock, understanding what he was asking. They'd talked about this before, in New York. He'd had a feeling then that she hadn't quite believed him when he'd essentially said to her that he'd love her no matter what. But he _had_ meant it. Whatever happened, he wanted to be at her side. Now he needed to know how she felt.

"Aaron…" she breathed out, standing up so they were at eye level.

He watched her intently and was caught totally off guard when she leaned forward to cup his face in both her hands before pressing her lips to his in a long-overdue kiss. He savored it. The touch of her soft lips moving over his. It had been way too long.

It was Henry, letting out a cry of protest, which forced them to pull apart. They shared a light laugh before he swung the infant to his shoulder, rubbing his back comfortingly.

JJ reached out to give Henry a pat on the back. Her eyes lifted to meet his and he was struck speechless by how much love for him was there in those blue depths. If he ever had any doubts before, they were erased completely in that instant.

"Aaron, I love _you_. Even if Henry isn't— Well, I'll still want you. I wanted you before Henry… and I'll want you forever. The question is what would you want?"

"You, JJ," he stated quickly and adamantly. "I said it before. I'll say it again. I want to be with you. I just… I just don't understand—" He stopped abruptly, not really sure he wanted to go there during this loving moment.

"What?"

Sighing heavily, he went on. "Will. I just don't understand your relationship with him," he finished somewhat reluctantly.

She sat back in her chair, looking uncomfortable all of the sudden. "I'm… I'm horrible for not telling him, I know…. I'm—I guess what it all comes down to is pain."

"Pain?" he asked unsurely.

She nodded. "Let me explain… I've um been in love with you for a long time, even before that first night." His mouth dropped open in wonder. He hadn't known. "I know… I covered it up. It hurt. But then when I saw you in pain because of what Hailey… Well, I wanted to help you. But, I think in the end all I've done is hurt you."

He opened his mouth to deny this. Yes, they'd had their moments, but they were just brief intervals. Most of all, he'd felt loved by her. But she wouldn't let him speak just then.

"No. Even now, I'm doing it by asking you to pretend that Will is his father. I'm horrible. But I just couldn't hurt one more person. Telling Will there's a chance he's not the father… I need to know first, before I cause anymore pain. And I'm sorry… that isn't fair to you, Aaron, but can you understand?"

He nodded. "I get that. I get not wanting to tell him about Henry. But you're still living with him…"

She let out a little groan, surprising him. "Honestly?" He nodded. "It's just been for convenience's sake."

"Convenience?"

"I know, it sounds lame. But do you know how hard it is doing anything with a baby? The thought of moving out so soon after Henry was born was tough."

"I see," he said stiffly, not sure how satisfied with her response he was.

Her hand was on his cheek, tilting his head back to face her. "I swear, Aaron, living with Will, lately, it's been like we're nothing but roommates. Nothing has happened between us. Really, I'm not doing the best job with not hurting him…"

He held up his hand for her to stop. "I believe you."

She held his gaze a moment longer, searching. He believed her, he still didn't like it, but he knew she was being genuine.

"Let's open it," he decided.

She broke away from his gaze to stare down at the envelope. She ran her hand across it, giving a resolute nod.

He watched on as she pried open a corner of the envelope, sliding a finger inside and across to tear it open. The sound of ripping paper was all that could be heard until Henry began to cry.

Hotch smiled at the high-pitched noise, rocking the infant in his arms until he quieted. He placed a kiss on his downy forehead. "I know, buddy, the suspense is killing me too."

JJ let out a little cry, then. And he glanced up to see that she'd gotten the single sheet of paper out and was staring at it, frozen.

"JJ?" he said tentatively. "What does it say?"

Startled by his voice, her gaze met his and there were tears shining there. His heart fell as he glanced down at Henry. No, it couldn't be. He felt such a connection to him. It wasn't possible.

Hotch had already imagined taking him home. Introducing him to Jack as his little brother. The joy that would be on his face when he realized he'd gotten what he and his mother would never give him. Explaining to him how he'd have JJ as a second mom…

Hotch blinked away the sudden wetness in his eyes. No. All that could still be. Blood or not, he would be there for Henry no matter what.

"Aaron," she breathed out. He forced himself to look at her again. Tears were streaming down her face now, but she was smiling. He didn't understand it until a second later. "_He's yours_."

"_What_?" he gasped out, a tear slipping from his eye. "What did you say?"

She held the paper before him. "Henry is your son."

He looked from her to the paper. There, written plainly, was the answer he'd been waiting for. He was Henry's father. "Oh God…" he murmured happily.

"You're Henry's father" she repeated, giving a watery chuckle.

He looked at Henry, staring at him with new eyes. Yes, he was predominantly JJ, but now he saw… his chin, the slant of his nose, they were his, Henry was his.

"I don't think I've ever been happier in my life," he announced.

She laughed. "Me either. This is… amazing."

He nodded. "Yes, it is." And then he was kissing her like there was no tomorrow. _Oh God, how he loved her._

They pulled apart to eye each other lovingly. "I want to tell everyone!" she exclaimed. She practically beamed happiness.

"Me too," he agreed. But he knew they couldn't yet. "But Will—"

"Oh God," she groaned out, suddenly looking deflated. She put her head into her hands. "I've got to tell him. Just…"

He watched her carefully, she looked so sad. It was such a contrast to a moment before.

"Just… give me time to tell him right?" she asked of him.

He nodded. They had all the time in the world now. He could wait a tiny bit longer.

"I love you," she said quickly.

"Love you, too," he murmured, pressing his lips to hers.

A knock at the door cut off their renewed celebration. They pulled apart, wiping at their faces. JJ took Henry back. But, holding him or not, it was going to be even harder hiding his love for him.

"Come in," he called as he went back to his desk.

The door opened swiftly. "Hey Hotch—" Rossi began, stopping when he saw JJ. His gaze turned analytical.

Of all the people to interrupt them, it had to be him. "Dave," he prompted.

He shook his head ever so slightly as if trying to convince himself that nothing was going on in there. "Uh, I'm heading out," he said, and then he addressed JJ. "Everyone's looking for you. Actually, they're looking for the kid."

JJ smiled. "Come on, Henry, your fans are getting restless." She stood up to go, shooting him a reluctant look. "I'll call you."

Her eyes told him that she'd want to see him soon He nodded his head, not wanting to give any more than they already had to the older profiler.

She moved past Dave and then was gone. He did his best to contain his aching sigh at being apart from them.

"You two ok?" Dave wondered out loud.

Hotch busied himself with the papers on his desk. "Yeah, why wouldn't we be?"

"Don't know. You two looked intense."

_Crap!_ Of course he'd notice. "Um yeah, we were talking about maternity leave days, arguing actually," he lied. "She wants to come back soon. I thought she should take more time."

"Really?" Rossi said in surprise, causing Hotch to look up at him sharply. "I thought you wouldn't mind keeping her close."

"What does that mean?"

Nervousness overcame him when Dave suddenly shut the door and came to take JJ's vacated seat. The man eyed him shrewdly, opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it as something on the floor caught his eye.

Dave leaned forward and picked up the envelope. _Shit,_ he thought. He'd seen JJ put the results back into her pocket, but she must have dropped the envelope.

"Isn't this from the hospital Henry was born in?"

"Yeah, uh, JJ must have dropped it," Hotch replied quickly. He held his hand out for it. "I'll make sure she gets it back."

Without a word, he gave it to him. Maybe he wouldn't say anything else… But that was just wishful thinking.

"It's JJ, isn't it? The woman that it's complicated with."

Hotch could feel the color draining form his face. He opened his mouth to deny it, but his reaction had already given him away. "It's complicated," he echoed.

"Yeah," Dave answered. "I'm sure it is. How long has this been going on?"

Hotch grimaced at his accusing tone. "Off and on for about four years now."

He had the brief satisfaction of actually surprising him. But then, he was looking at the hospital envelope with new eyes. Hotch held his breath, knowing his friend was smart. "Henry is your son, isn't he?"

He breathed out a panicked breath. "You can't say anything, Dave."

"Oh my God, he is!" Dave said in shock. "And Will doesn't know?"

Hotch shook his head. "Not yet."

"What the hell are you two doing?"

Hotch frowned. "I said it was complicated. We're in the process of making things right."

"Newsflash, Aaron, things aren't going to be right for Will, not for a long time," he said angrily.

"Dave—"

"No, Aaron, this is a man's feelings you two are playing with. It isn't right."

"We know, God, we know. We never meant for this to happen," he said dejectedly. "But it did."

Rossi let out a breath, his anger going with it. "Who am I to judge?" he said, more to himself than to Hotch. "Look, I've been where Will is going to be—Don't ask," he told him unexpectedly. "I just hope you know that he won't be able to turn his feelings off for that baby with a snap of his fingers."

"I know," he quickly agreed.

"Be sensitive to his feelings, he'll want to see him even after you tell him."

Hotch nodded and Dave stood up to go.

"Dave?"

He turned to look at him disappointedly. "I won't say anything. I just hope you two _do_ fix this mess you've created."

He watched him open the door, just as he was about to leave he stopped only to face him. "And Aaron," he said, a small smile on his face. "Congratulations."

* * *

Well that's it for this chapter. It's only part 1 of 2009. I've had to split this year into more than one part because this chapter was already massive and my wrists are completely gone. Lol. Anyways, next chapter will focus on JJ's return to work and Foyet's first appearance.

I hope everything seemed to work together. Let me know if something felt off. I went over it a few times (even re-wrote the whole chapter), but it still may not flow right.

Anyways, thanks to everyone who's been reading, alerting, and reviewing: **happysunshine01; Graveygraves; Wren Calhoun** _(Yay for more JJ/Hotch fans; the more the merrier); _**beaglelover719** _(there you go, Henry is Henry Hotchner. :) );_ **jekkah** (_slightly less angst in this one. Glad you liked!);_ **spyagent001** _(I'm trying to stick with canon as much as possible with obvious deviations. Hope you liked the outcome so far.);_ **Guest** _(Henry Hotchner sounds totally awesome!);_ **dcatt; McKaylaBug; and ncis4ever21.**

I'll try to update soon!


	9. 2009, Part 2

**A/N:** Hey all! Here's the next chapter! This one starts off with JJ's return to work (Season 4 episode 14, Cold Comfort) and mentions Demonology (S04E17) and I forgot to mention that the last chapter had a scene from the Season 4 episode, Normal (#11). This one will be the second part of 2009, there will be one more part dealing with Foyet. Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 8:**

* * *

_**~ February, 2009 ~**_

"You're really going?"

Will gave her a distressed glance. "What do you expect me to do, JJ?"

She let out a huff, feeling defeated, lifting and dropping her shoulders with the sound. "I don't know."

He stopped packing his bag and approached her. Placing both hands on her shoulders, he leaned in close. Will gave her, what she'd call, an overwhelmed look. "I'm sorry, Jay." She managed to stop herself from visibly cringing. "She's my mom. I'm all she has left and she's not doing so good."

JJ felt bad instantly. Of course he'd want to spend time with his mom before she passed on. It wasn't looking like Mrs. LaMontagne would make it past the next two months.

"You're right, go. And give Helen my love," JJ replied.

"I wish you and Henry were coming with me."

JJ looked off to the side. They'd already talked about this. "You know I can't. I go back to work Monday." A huge part of her would feel sad about leaving Henry's side, but the other part was excited to return to the team and to Hotch.

"I wish you weren't," Will added bluntly.

"I know," she replied tersely. He'd made it very clear to her what he thought about working mothers. The two concepts, work and mother, didn't go together, according to him. They'd argued about it more and more the closer her back to work date came.

In her opinion, though, it was a useless thing to argue. The minute she told Will that he wasn't Henry's father she was sure he'd want nothing to do with her. All she needed now was the right moment to tell him.

This weekend was supposed to be it. Her mother was in town, visiting. Sandy Jareau was going to take Henry and JJ was going to use the time alone to break the news to Will.

Now, with his mother on her deathbed, did she really want to pile on the devastating news? No, she'd tell him when he returned.

She just hoped Hotch would understand.

"Sorry," Will had the sense to apologize.

She shook her head, suddenly feeling guilty about wanting him to stay so she could tell him more bad news instead of being with his mother. JJ wondered, _When did I become a horrible person?_

"Don't worry," she said out loud. "Just take care of you mom and don't worry about anything else."

He searched her eyes with a sad, contemplative look. With the news of her son's paternity she'd drawn away from him even further. Will wasn't obtuse, he'd noticed. And she was a fool to think that waiting to tell him was sparing him any pain. It clearly wasn't.

JJ didn't love Will and it showed.

"I'll be thinking of you and Henry," Will said. "I'll miss you."

She breathed in a deep breath. "I'll… miss you, too."

He pulled away from her, zipping up his bag. He seemed ready to go, but hesitated. "Hey…" he began. "I… uh got you something. I was going to wait to give it to you… but I might be gone for a while."

JJ watched him walk over to his chest of drawers. He pulled something small out of the top drawer. Turning back around, she saw that it was a ring box. She felt the color drain from her face immediately. _Oh no…_

He chuckled, but there was an acerbic undertone to it. "Relax, JJ, I know how you feel about marriage." He handed her the box unceremoniously. "Open it."

Slowly, she did as told, less afraid now of what she'd find, but still hesitant. Inside laid a ring with a large yellow stone, surrounded by little diamonds. She looked up at Will quizzically.

"It's Henry's birthstone. Citrine, I think the lady called it. I thought you'd um like it."

JJ eyed him with surprise. It was times like this that he reminded her why she'd chosen him to try to put Hotch past her. Will had a sweet side.

"It's beautiful, Will. Thank you."

He reached into his pocket and pulled something out. "I got one too," he said, slipping a masculine version of the ring onto the ring finger of his left hand. "I thought it would be a good way to show our connection to Henry and each other."

And just like that the sweet gesture had the taint of ulterior motive. She let out a sigh, not hiding her discomfort. Taking the ring out of the box, she slipped it onto the finger of her right hand.

"Thank you," she said again, pointedly ignoring his frown.

She didn't appreciate his backhanded way of attempting to gain a commitment from her and she wasn't going to hide that fact.

"Have a good trip," she said with finality.

Gauging her reaction, he let out a huff of his own, grabbed his bag, and was out the door.

She put her head into her hands, and not for the first time, asked herself, _What the hell have I gotten myself into?_

* * *

Hotch let out a tired sigh as he put the finishing touches to the case file of the last case they had worked on that Monday morning. Normally, he would have had it done the very next day, at the latest, but these days he was more than a little distracted and that was showing in his work. He was way behind.

Rubbing at his eyes, he realized he was letting his personal life interfere with his work life. Something he'd never condoned. He liked to keep them separate. Though, that was going to be hard to do, now that he worked with the mother of his child.

_JJ._ She was coming back to work today and he couldn't wait to see her, not only because he missed her greatly, but also because he needed to know if she had gone through with telling Will the news like she said she would.

He hoped she had. He couldn't wait to be able to publically claim Henry as his own. Henry Hotchner had a nice ring to it and he smiled just thinking about the five month old infant. The little boy was opening his eyes more. And he was more responsive to the sound of his voice.

God, he loved that boy. Over the past two weeks the trio of them had met several times during the day so he could keep in contact with Henry during this transition period. Hotch hoped that the infant knew that he was his father. But with Will at home with him, the infant saw Will more and it hurt his heart to think that Henry saw Will as his father over him.

A knock came at his door, interrupting his thoughts. "Come in," he called out. He signed a couple more papers and only looked up when he heard the door open and close.

A glowing JJ stood before him. "JJ," he breathed out, happy to see her.

He stood up and approached her quickly, stopping just short of hugging her. Still beaming, he added, "Welcome back."

She laughed, looking to her right before she closed the distance between them. She pulled him close, hugging him tightly. He followed her gaze and saw that she'd been looking at his blinds. They were closed, of course. They were always closed now, ever since their night together.

"Thank you. It's good to be back."

Hotch pulled away slightly, still holding her close. He looked into her deep blue eyes and asked, "How are you? How's Henry?"

"I'm good. Henry's growing up too fast," she mused cheerfully. A second later a sad look came over her face. "I miss him."

He gave her a soft knowing smile. "I know." Placing a kiss on her forehead, he breathed in deeply, taking in her presence. "God, I've missed you."

Her eyes were closed when he pulled back to look at her, she still looked unhappy. "Hey," he started swiftly. "If you'd like to take more time, I'll understand."

JJ opened her eyes abruptly. "_No_. No, I want to be here," she assured. She stepped out of his grasp, turning her back to him.

"JJ?" he asked concernedly. "What is it?"

Shaking her head, she remained turned away from him. "All I want… all I want is for us to be together."

_Uh oh. That didn't sound good_. He knew right away, she didn't tell Will.

Hotch closed the distance between them; he put his hands to her shoulders, massaging lightly. "What happened?" He tried to soften his voice, not wanting to sound accusatory. Still he was tired of hiding things.

JJ turned in his arms to face him. He saw the tears in her eyes before she pressed her body to his. "I'm sorry, Aaron."

Expelling a breath, he rubbed his cheek against her blonde locks, savoring her closeness, even though he knew she was about to disappoint him. "I know…"

"Will went back to New Orleans," she informed him. "His mother is sick… she's dying…"

"So, you didn't tell him," he stated more than asked.

Pulling back to look him in the eyes, she looked genuinely apologetic. "No, I'm sorry."

He nodded his head. It'd only been two weeks since they'd found out. Not an overly long time, but still the second he'd found out Henry was his he'd wanted nothing more than to bring both JJ and Henry home with him. He was eager to start his life with them. "Soon?" he questioned.

"The second he comes back," she reassured. "I needed to tell you. To explain. I want to tell him—"

He cut her off. "JJ, I know. I just…" He reached out a hand to skim her now short golden hair, to caress her cheek. "I want us to be together. I want us to be able to start our life together. You, me, Henry and Jack…"

She smiled at that image. "I want that, too."

Nodding, he stepped back. "All right…" He kissed her lips briefly. "Let's get to work, I guess…"

She turned to go, but something glimmering on her hand caught his eye. _A ring?_

"What's that?" he asked abruptly.

She turned back around, giving him a confused look. And then she looked down. "Oh, this?"

He reached for her right hand, bringing it close. "This is new?"

JJ looked uncomfortable at his questioning. "Um… yeah, Will bought it for me. It's Henry's birthstone. I… I couldn't not take it…"

"I see," he said emotionlessly.

"Aaron," she exclaimed. "Don't, _please_. Don't jump to conclusions. Will just thought it would be nice to have something for us to represent Henry—"

"Us?"

"Will got one, too," she confirmed, sheepishly.

Will was living with his girlfriend, with his baby, giving her a ring to show _their_ commitment to each other, while he sat off on the side, doing what… waiting? He suddenly didn't know what to think. He just felt that he needed to get out of there. "Let's get to work."

"Aaron, wait," JJ called before he got to the door. He turned around reluctantly. "It's not what you think."

"He got you both a ring that represents your connection to Henry, together," Hotch replied angrily. "I'm his father, damn it, not him."

Tears in her eyes, she said, "I know. And I'll tell him, I swear."

He hated to see those tears, so he backed off slightly. "This is hard, JJ."

"I know. I'm—"

"Don't say you're sorry again, JJ, please," he cut her off. He'd heard it enough. The situation they were in wasn't only of her doing. They both had a part to play.

"Ok." She nodded once, waiting for him to clue her in to how things were about to go.

"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions," he offered instead.

JJ looked at him sadly, nodding again.

They left it at that and decided to get back to work.

* * *

JJ hefted the bags she held, repositioning them to make them feel less awkward as she waited for Hotch to open the door. After another second, the door opened and JJ stepped into the small foyer.

"Kitchen?" she asked over top of the bags.

Hotch pointed off to the left and she started moving in that direction. She could feel him following her close behind as she moved along, taking in his apartment. She couldn't believe she'd never been there before. And she hoped that when she ended things with Will they'd be there, together, all the time. Or maybe, they'd get a house together, one where each of their boys could have their own rooms, and a huge backyard where they could run free…

_All right, JJ,_ she silently chastised herself. _Now you're just getting ahead of yourself. One step at a time, ok…_

She placed the bag on the island counter and turned to face Hotch, seeing him do the same thing.

She just couldn't help her thoughts, she loved him so much.

"JJ, you don't have to do this," he told her, smiling affectionately.

He held a hand out to her and she came around the island to take it. She stood before him, staring up into his dark eyes. "What? Make dinner for you? It's nothing," she brushed off. "After the case we had… I hope Emily's all right…"

Hotch let out a sigh. "Me too."

They'd just helped their friend figure out that a priest had killed one of Emily's old friends. She was devastated, but JJ hoped that she'd let either Morgan or Rossi in. Both men seemed eager to help her deal with her pain.

With the personal nature of the case, JJ had not felt like going home to an empty house. Will was still in New Orleans, and Henry was visiting JJ's mom. So, she had been perfectly free to suggest making dinner for Hotch. She felt she also owed him, considering the argument they'd had about the ring last week.

Hotch caressed her cheek tenderly; she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes to savor the gesture. She would never get enough of him, she knew.

"I'm just glad you're here with me tonight."

"That makes two of us," she murmured, before reaching up on her toes to kiss him.

What was supposed to be a quick kiss quickly turned into something more. Alone, together, with no chance of interruptions, the passion that they had for each other, that always simmered just below the surface, reignited.

JJ wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him there firmly as she deepened the kiss, entangling her tongue with his. Dinner was long forgotten as his hands trailed down her back to grip her ass. He lifted her up and onto the counter, surprising her.

He pulled away from her temporarily. The look in his eyes told her he was as hungry for her as ever. Without a moment's hesitation, his hands went to the hem of her shirt and he was pulling it up and over her head. She had a brief flutter of nervousness in the pit of her stomach as he took in her post-baby body. Admittedly, she wasn't quite back to where she had been previously and that insecurity had her attempting to cover herself up, one arm around her midsection, the other up across her chest to rest on her shoulder.

Hotch leaned in close, resting his hands on her forearms; he looked at her with a lightness in his eyes. "Hey," he said gently. "You're beautiful, sweetheart."

His words alone were enough to get her to drop her hands. She smiled before he reclaimed her lips, kissing her with all the love he possessed for her.

Hotch's hands dropped from her arms, skimming her sides as they travelled a path down to her thighs. He pushed them apart before coming to stand between them, bringing their bodies that much closer. That done, his hands swept upwards, tickling the skin of her abdomen, causing shivers to go down her spine. He made quick work of the hooks on her bra, removing that one more obstacle and dropping it to the floor to join her shirt.

JJ lightly protested when his lips left her own and instead trailed a path down instead. A second later, her protests were cut short when his lips were suddenly around the hard peak of her breast. He sucked one nipple into his mouth, letting his tongue swirl around the hardened bud. JJ arched into his mouth, putting her hands behind her, urging him to take more.

As she reveled in his touch, she'd been unaware of where his hands were, until they were suddenly at her waist, undoing the button and zipper to her work pants.

She whimpered slightly when his mouth let go of her breast. Her protests were long forgotten when she saw what he was about to do next. In one go, Hotch slid her pants and underwear off, exposing her to him.

Completely naked now, he came back up to hold her close, kissing her hard as his hand slipped between her legs. She gasped into the kiss when he wasted no time whatsoever, going for her clit. Hotch meant business and she liked it.

Her body aching for him, she blindly reached out, managing to find the waistband of his pants. Belt buckle, zipper, and button were no match for her eager hands. As his fingers continued to dance over, taking her up and over, she wiggled her own digits under the waistband of his briefs finding his hard member.

JJ pumped his dick hard, causing his own hands to falter briefly. He ripped his lips from hers to exclaim, "Shit, JJ!"

She chuckled lightly, letting go of him to say, "Bedroom?"

Hotch nodded his head once before surprising her by picking her up. JJ squealed out her delight at the gesture, her arms going around his neck as she held on for dear life.

They reached his bedroom where Hotch laid her down gently on his bed. He stepped back to undress and JJ took the opportunity to let her eyes peruse his room. The walls were a cinnamon brown color that went well with the dark browns of his furniture and bedspread. There wasn't much in the room that showed that Hotch lived there, save for one photograph of Jack on his nightstand.

"Bare, isn't it?"

She looked up to see him free from clothing. She watched the hard length of his body as he came to sit in front of her on the bed. He reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze.

"When we move in together you can do anything you'd like to it," he informed her.

"You want to move in together?" she asked in wonder.

He gave her a rare shy look before glancing off to the side. "Well, yeah… I hope that we can all be a family someday."

There was uncertainty in his voice, as if he didn't know that that was all she wanted, too. She'd give anything in the world to share a life with him. Had she ever told him that? No, she didn't think so. She would have to fix that.

JJ scooted forward, lifting herself up onto her knees, she leaned her body close to him. He turned to look at her unsurely. "Aaron, I want that, too. God, I want that so bad. Soon," she said adamantly. "I love you."

"I love you, too, JJ."

And just like that things got intense again. They made love slowly, with the feeling like they had all the time in the world. And maybe they did. As soon as she told Will the truth there would be nothing to keep them apart anymore.

* * *

Hotch stood off to the side, watching JJ stir the ingredients together over the stove. He'd offered to help but she'd refused, saying she wanted to do this for him. He let out a content sigh just happy to take in the sight of her.

She'd dressed in his dress shirt and it just skimmed the tops of her thighs. Her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail and she just looked adorable as she made him dinner. It was a sweet moment. And that's why he couldn't control his next urge.

He moved behind her to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her back against his chest.

"Aaron," she protested laughingly.

Moving his mouth to the crook of her neck, he kissed the skin there lightly. "Forget dinner, you're more than good enough to eat."

She swatted a hand backwards playfully. "Even so, this will be good too. Trust me."

With one more kiss, he let out a sigh and released her, retaking up his spot. They settled then into a companionable silence, JJ moving around the kitchen, Hotch watching her.

Just as he was going to comment on the niceness of the moment, the doorbell rang. They shared a brief panic-filled look before JJ spoke up.

"Why don't you go see who it is? I'll go put my own clothes on just in case."

He nodded at her plan. Someday soon they wouldn't have to hide their relationship, but until then they needed to be cautious.

Letting out an annoyed breath, he made his way to the door, wishing along the way that whoever it was didn't intend on staying long. He had JJ all to himself for the first time in a long time and he would fight tooth and nail to keep it that way.

Opening the door, he was more than shocked to see who it was waiting there. "Hailey?" he exclaimed. A noise from below drew his eyes down. "Jack!" he said with more enthusiasm, always happy to see his three year old son.

He knelt down, holding his arms out to his son. Jack ran into them and he swept him off his feet. "Hey buddy, how are you doing today?"

"Good, daddy," he replied eagerly.

Hotch turned to Hailey giving her a barely civil look. "What's going on?" He hadn't expected them tonight.

"Jack, why don't you go turn on the TV, I think Bob the Builder is on?" Hailey addressed their son.

Hotch reluctantly let his boy down; he ran off for the living room. Once he was out of sight, he turned back to his ex-wife. "I wasn't supposed to have Jack tonight, was I?"

"Of course not, Aaron," she said harshly. "Did I catch you at a bad time?"

Not knowing why she'd think so, his face must have shown his confusion, because she gestured at his chest and it was then that he realized he'd answered the door shirtless. "It's never a bad time when it comes to my son," he answered, ignoring his current lack of attire.

She gave him a snide look. "Sure it isn't." Hating her, he knew not responding was best. The sooner she got out what she had to say, the sooner she'd leave. "You need to take Jack for the week."

"Ok…"

"My mom's sick. Jessica and I are going to her," Hailey let him know in a clipped tone. She let out a sigh. "I think it's bad."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said genuinely, frowning. Mrs. Brooks was a nice woman, much like her eldest daughter. Where Hailey got her horridness, he had no idea.

"Thank you… Anyways, I can't take—"

Their conversation was cut off by the sound of happy laughter and fast approaching footsteps. A second later, both Jack and JJ came streaking by.

"Here comes the tickle monster," JJ laughingly growled as she chased after a delighted Jack.

She stopped short when she saw them still at the door. "Oh," she breathed out. Thankfully, she'd managed to re-dress. Hailey could probably figure out what was going on here based on her previously unscrupulously obtained info. But, he didn't want to give her further ammunition for her undue dislike of JJ.

JJ came closer, giving his ex-wife a smile that only looked strained around the eyes. "Hi," she greeted. "How are you, Hailey?"

Hailey didn't return the smile, but answered at least. "I'm well."

JJ eyed him unsurely, a silent question in her eyes. She had no idea about Hailey knowing about them and Hailey's harshness was a little out of the blue for her. "Well, I'll get back to dinner, I'm guessing Jack's staying?"

He nodded his head and with that she quickly left the room.

"You know what," Hailey spoke up quickly. "Maybe I will take Jack with me."

"What?"

"I don't want him here with you when you're with that… that…"

"Careful, Hailey," Hotch cut her off sternly. "JJ hasn't done anything to you. And besides, Jack likes JJ. He'll have to get used to seeing her with me. JJ's in my life now, permanently."

Hailey didn't respond to that, letting her lips form a thin, hateful line. A moment later, she said, "Well, then…"

"If that's all," Hotch said in annoyance.

Hailey turned around to go and Hotch thought he was free from her at last. That is until she stopped and turned back around. "Uh… does JJ know what she's getting into with you?"

Hotch frowned. What business was it of hers? "She cares about me. And I care about her," he said by way of answer.

"Still… she's a new mother… your job will be hard on her. It was for me."

"Well, don't worry, _she_ understands," he shot back.

Hailey gave him her own frown. "Congratulate her for me, ok?"

He gave her a short nod and was more than relieved when she finally walked away. Nonetheless, he needed to take a deep, calming breath before he entered the living room.

There, he found JJ with Jack curled up into her side; the two were watching his favorite show. And the sight of them together made him feel better.

JJ looked up when she saw him approach. "Dinner is in the oven," she let him know.

Nodding, he sat down next to her without a word.

"Everything ok?" she wanted to know.

He gave her a smile. "Yeah, fine."

JJ gave him one more look before refocusing his attention back on the TV and Jack. He knew he should tell her about Hailey knowing. But, he'd given her everything; surely there was no need to tell JJ if Hailey wasn't going to do anything with her information.

At least he hoped so.

* * *

Well that's it. Next chapter will be the last for 2009 and will pick up during all the Foyet goodness. He's going to be throwing a wrench into things for sure.

Just wanted to say thanks to those who are reading and double thanks to those who are reviewing: **ReadingRed; rubberducky96; CrimeFan23; Alicia** (_Glad to hear you're still reading. Thank you);_ **Wren Calhoun; MarkandLexieFan; NothingIsPermanent; whimsical-one-ga; beaglelover719** _(lol. JJ's starting to realize she's handled things badly too); _**InGreyEyes; and samcarter1980.**

I'll try to update soon.

Final Note from Chit Chat On Author's Corner:

_**Don't forget to vote in this year's Criminal Minds Profilers Choice Awards on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Time is running out. Only five more days left (Nov 30)! Check out the final voting ballot over at Chit Chat on Author's Corner.**_


	10. 2009, Part 3

**A/N:** Hey all! Well, I'm back with another update. First, I wanted to say sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long. Writer's block and my need to be a perfectionist in everything (though it rarely ever comes out that way) delayed this chapter for a good bit. Finally, I just let go of the latter, and said I need to get something out. So, hopefully this chapter isn't total crap. Second, I just wanted to give a huge thanks to everyone who voted this story the best JJ/Hotch fic and the best M-rated story in the 2012 Profiler's Choice Awards. I am so flattered. Thanks guys! Lastly, I've decided that there's going to be one more part to 2009 after this one.

This chapter takes us into the Season 4 episode, Omnivore (#18). Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 9:**

* * *

_**~ March, 2009 ~**_

Hotch pulled the phone from his ear, clicking the end button before looking at it strangely. That was definitely an unexpected call.

"Who was it?"

He looked up, startled out of his thoughts. JJ had walked into the kitchen, Henry on her hip. They'd been in the middle of dinner when the phone rang.

"A nurse, in Boston," he said, finding it difficult to hide the grimness he felt. "A detective I worked with ten years ago is asking for me…"

"Oh?" She looked up at him concernedly with wide blue eyes.

"He's dying," he finished. "He'd like to see me."

"That's strange, isn't it?"

For a moment, he let himself get lost in his memories. The case was so long ago, twenty-one murders committed at the hands of a madman. The press had dubbed him the Boston Reaper and Tom Shaunessy had been the lead detective on that case. That is, until he eventually sent them all away. They'd never caught the Reaper.

The only thing that Shaunessy could possibly want to talk to him about was that case. A case Hotch had come back to time and time again over the years. Maybe he was about to finally get some answers. It had been his first case as lead profiler for the BAU and not being able to close it had left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Yeah, it is strange," he agreed.

"What are you going to do?" she asked, her wary look giving way to a smile when Henry reached his chubby fingers for him.

Hotch gave his son a smile as he took him from JJ's arms. He let out a sigh. "What can I do? I need to go." He didn't want to leave JJ and Henry; anytime alone with them was precious to him. But he had no choice. "I need to hear him out…"

JJ nodded her head in understanding. "All right… Henry and I will head out, then. Is there anything I can do?"

Hotch leaned forward, capturing her lips with his. He wanted to savor the kiss; he was sure the trip would be a short one, but just in case… Henry's laughing gurgles interrupted their sweet moment. Pulling back, he smiled at his son and said, "Just… be safe."

* * *

When Monday morning rolled around three days later, JJ went into the office wondering if she'd also see Hotch there, too. She hadn't heard a word from him since he'd gotten the call from the nurse. She didn't know whether she was angrier with him or annoyed, all she did know was that she wanted him home safe.

On top of dealing with Hotch's absence, Will was scheduled to come back that very night and that wasn't sitting well in her stomach either. JJ had really wanted to talk to Hotch before sitting down with Will to tell him about Henry. It was her responsibility, she knew, but talking it out with Hotch would have settled her nerves a bit.

Telling Will was going to be hard, but at least his mother had made a recovery. That was a tiny consolation for her conscience.

Before heading up to her office, JJ took a detour through the bullpen. There she found Reid and Garcia chatting away. After exchanging the necessary pleasantries, she asked, "Hotch in?"

"Yeah, he's been on the phone all morning practically," Garcia offered.

_Not with me,_ she silently fumed. "I wonder when he got back," she wondered out loud.

"Got back?" Reid echoed curiously. "I didn't even know he'd gone anywhere."

She looked up, startled at herself for making the error. "Umm yeah… I heard he'd gone to Boston. He must have just got back this morning."

Garcia shook her head. "Nope. Boss-man was here yesterday, he had me trawling through the personals."

JJ didn't know what that meant. "He was here yesterday?"

She wasn't able to mask her surprise. Reid, she noticed, threw her a quizzical look. But her wonder at what Hotch had been up to caused her to momentarily ignore the look.

She frowned, looking up at his office. Why hadn't he called her?

"JJ?" Reid said softly. She glanced back at him. He had that analytical look on his face and she knew she had to rein her emotions in a bit more. "What's up?"

"Um… nothing, I hope," she replied carefully. "I'll see you guys later."

She hurried away, knowing it would be best if she got out from under prying eyes in her current state. JJ climbed the stairs, pacing her steps just in case she was still under watch. She stopped at her office first, choosing to get herself settled in before confronting her secret-significant-other.

JJ was about to head out to his office when Hotch suddenly burst into hers. "JJ," he began quickly, as if he hadn't just disappeared for three days. "I need you to keep an eye out for any unusual Boston homicides. Anything out of the ordinary at all needs to come to my desk immediately."

She stared at him, completely bewildered, especially when he turned to go. "Aaron!" she called out.

He spared her a distracted look, his mind obviously elsewhere.

"You didn't call," she said, feeling lame under his stern gaze. "I've been worried…"

Yes, she understood him, understood that his job was important to him. But, she had to wonder if he had forgotten that she wasn't just his girlfriend, that she was part of this world too. Did he forget about her now dual role in his life?

His face softened at her words. Closing the distance between them, he rubbed his hands along her arms in an attempt to soothe her. "I'm sorry, sweetheart… something urgent has come to my attention…"

And just like that he was letting go of her. She shot him a perplexed look. "You aren't going to tell me what it is?"

He let out a sigh. "I'm still hoping it's nothing… but I need you checking for unusual Boston homicides just in case."

She didn't get it, but she'd do her job nonetheless. "All right… but you owe me big for worrying me."

Hotch finally gave her a sheepish look. "I know, I promise I'll make it up to you…"

She gave him a mischievous smile. "I'm going to hold you to that."

He gave her a quick kiss and was about to leave when he hesitated at the door. "Henry all right?"

She nodded, liking the fact that he hadn't forgotten to ask about their son. He gave her a parting smile and then he was gone.

JJ turned back to her desk, letting her frown fall back to place. Even though Hotch was hoping all would be well, his eyes said it wasn't likely. What had happened in Boston to cause such worry in his eyes? She had no idea.

* * *

"Hey," JJ heard Will's cheerful voice through her phone's receiver.

"Will, hi," she replied, trying to keep her awkward feelings from seeping into her tone. She hadn't wanted to pick up when she'd seen his number, but, at the same time, she couldn't not pick up. She had been unable to see him before they'd left for Boston, so she felt she'd had to. "You're home?"

"Yeah," he replied. "And you're not?"

"Sorry, I meant to call you… I'm in Boston."

She heard him let out a sigh. "But, you knew I was coming back tonight.

"Will, I—" she started, about to make excuses, however his accusatory tone changed her mind. "It's my job, Will. You know how it is, how it's always been."

JJ wondered if he'd choose to argue with her. "I know… Henry's gotten so big…"

She was glad that he moved on, but not so glad about the choice of topic. "Yeah, he's grown…"

There was an awkward silence then, one that she struggled to fill with the right words.

"Will—"

"JJ—"

They both stopped abruptly.

"Go ahead, JJ," he offered kindly.

She let out a sigh. "Can we uh talk when I get back?"

His answer was slow to come. "Sure…"

"Good."

"JJ," he said a bit quicker. "I've missed you."

She couldn't help her grimace. "I've… got to go, sorry Will." Without waiting for a response she hung up the phone.

Feeling horrible, her heart hurt for him. Not only was she about to break up with him, she was going to take his son away, too.

Something tickled her cheek. She reached a hand up to brush it off and was surprised to find it was a tear. JJ had never set out to hurt Will; she could see now that that had been their course from the beginning.

* * *

Hotch laid his head back on his hotel room bed. He didn't want to be in here. He wanted to be out there, searching for the bastard who was killing the innocents of Boston and taunting him for good measure. But he was under strict orders from Rossi to get an hour or two of rest.

If this was rest he sure didn't want to feel stressed.

When a knock came at his door, he sat up abruptly. He realized suddenly that there was no way he could rest in a place where the un-sub knew where he was. Not when he'd been called personally. Hotch reached for his gun before making his way cautiously towards the door. He glanced through the peephole and let out a sigh of relief.

"JJ!" he exclaimed when he opened the door.

"Hi," she said softly, eying him carefully. "Can I come in?"

Wordlessly, he held the door open for her, grateful for her presence. He hadn't wanted to be alone. When he shut the door, enveloping them in privacy, he couldn't help it, he practically dragged her to him. Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he just needed to feel her near, to feel her warmth. She let out a surprised gasp, but held onto him nonetheless.

"Rossi said you might want to see me," she murmured into his chest. "Why do I get the feeling he knows something?"

He didn't answer right away; he was lost in his thoughts about death and destruction and how much he wanted to protect his family.

"Aaron?" she said concernedly. "You're scaring me."

He pulled away from her. That had not been his intention. Hotch took her hands in his and led them to sit on his bed.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, staring down at the bedspread between them.

She reached out a hand and touched his chin, urging his gaze to meet her clear blue eyes. "Talk to me, please."

He let out a sigh. "He called me tonight."

She shook her head, not understanding. "Who did?"

"_He_ did. The Reaper," he said vehemently. "He offered me the same deal he gave Shaunessy. I said no."

"Oh… wow," JJ breathed out in surprise. Her eyes widened in sudden realization a moment later. "What happened tonight wasn't your fault."

He gave her a wry, small smile. She knew him well. That's why he loved her so much. "I know that now, but I was in rough shape after seeing the victims. Rossi had to talk some sense into me."

"Good," she said firmly. "Because that's what the Reaper wants. He wants you to feel guilty. That's his way of gaining power over you."

"When did you become a profiler?" he asked, amused.

She smiled back at him. "What, you think I'm just a pretty face? I've picked up a thing or two over the years…"

Her frown returned. "But seriously, Aaron, don't let him get to you. He's just another psycho that we need to catch. That's all."

"You're right," he agreed quickly. Because both she and Rossi were right, this man wasn't anything special. He was a narcissistic psychopath and nothing more.

He reached for JJ's hand, rubbing his thumb over her palm, choosing to change the subject. "So… Will's coming back tonight?"

His eyes on her, he noticed when she averted her eyes away from him. "Yeah… I plan on telling him when we get back."

He nodded his head; it would finally all be over. They could be together as a family. Jack could get to know his brother, and they'd all be happy…

…_Except for Will._

"Do you want me to be there?" he asked, knowing she didn't but that the offer would comfort her at least.

Her hand reached out to cup his face tenderly. "Thank you, but no… It's going to be hard enough finding out Henry isn't his, but finding out that _you_ _are_… he's going to feel so betrayed…"

Understandable. The man would wonder at how long this had been going on. He'd come to some conclusions, most of which would be true. He'd find out that he'd been lied to by the person he trusted most.

Betrayed was an understatement. But he didn't have the heart to tell JJ that. He knew she was already prepared for the worst anyways.

"I'm here for you, always." The words felt lame to his ears. He so wished he could do more. But he could tell they helped, if the tiny smile on her face was any indication.

"We should get back to work," she said quickly. "Reid and Rossi are going over the numbers on the bus's windows, they could use another head."

He nodded. She was right. Time to stop wallowing… Hotch knew he'd feel a hundred times better when they caught this guy.

* * *

Hotch rubbed at his tired eyes, feeling super exhausted. He'd yet to go home after returning to Quantico from Boston. After finding out that Foyet had escaped, he'd returned to his office to review the case file, hoping to find something he might have missed.

He knew JJ had been right, that Foyet was just another psycho in the long list of psychos that they needed to catch. But at the same time, this guy, this killer was different. The case was different because he had a feeling Foyet wasn't done with him personally.

"Hotch," a voice startled him. He looked up to find JJ standing in his open doorway.

"What are you still doing here?" he asked in surprise.

"Funny," she said, stepping inside, closing the door behind her. "I was going to ask you the same thing." She took a few steps towards his desk, eyes falling to the top, specifically to a copy of the note Foyet had sent to Shaunessy. "Do I need to get Rossi back in here to talk some sense into you?" she asked suspiciously.

He shook his head. "No, I know none of this was my fault."

"_But…_ something else has you worried," she stated perceptively.

"Yes," he said plainly. "By not accepting Foyet's deal I took away his ability to control me. His power, like you said before."

"Yes…" she prompted carefully, eyes narrowing at his line of thought.

"A man like him, egotistical, narcissistic, he'll take that as a slight against him. He'll want to do something to gain that power back."

"What _can he_ do?" she questioned worriedly.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I just… I don't know. But I do know that I don't want to take any chances."

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "What does that mean, Aaron?"

He came around his desk to stand before her. This had been going around in his head over and over, ever since Foyet had called him at the hotel.

"Foyet may go after me," he confirmed. "But, he may also go after the people I care about. I just don't know. No one knows about us, except for Rossi. No one knows Henry's my son—"

"No, stop, don't," she protested, catching on.

"JJ," he said, heart breaking. "This would just be until we catch him."

"But you said yourself," she lamented, eyes full of tears, "that they won't catch him."

He nodded. "He knows how to go off the grid. But he can only go so long without killing or taunting me. He'll make a mistake."

Hotch wasn't exactly confident in his words, but he needed JJ to believe him. He needed for her and Henry to be safe.

"What about Jack?" she questioned frightfully. "He's your son. And Hailey? Foyet will know they mean something to you."

That was a problem; he'd need to talk to Strauss in getting some round-the-clock uniformed officers, or agents even, stationed at the house. That would be a hard sell. But he needed to protect his son. _Both his sons._ "I'll talk to Strauss," he said simply.

"Hotch," she pleaded with him, reaching for his hands. "We don't need to do this. I know how to protect myself. I can keep Henry safe."

He knew that. _But…_ "And what about when we're both out of town on a case?"

Her mouth dropped open, no sound following. He had a point and she knew it.

"For… for how long?" she asked finally, voice hoarse.

Hotch shot her a sad look. "For as long as it takes to catch him…" She let out a strangled sounding sob as he gathered her in his arms, kissing the top of her head. "I love you, JJ. If… if anything ever happened to you or the boys… I'd die."

She pulled back from his embrace to look at him with watery eyes. A single tear slipped its confines and he watched it roll down her delicate cheek. "For me, too, Aaron. I need you to be careful, too," she said mournfully.

He nodded his head emphatically. "But you'll do this for me… you'll let Will go on thinking he's Henry's dad?"

Saying it nearly killed him. Just a short while ago, he'd been about to get everything he'd ever wanted. Now it was all being torn away.

"Yes… yes, it's going to be difficult, but…" she paused, taking in a trembling breath. "God, I'll do it if it will protect Henry. Yes."

He kissed her forehead, proud of her bravery. What he was asking of her wasn't easy. But they'd both do it if it meant the safety of their precious baby boy.

Still, he had one more request of her. This one was going to feel like a knife in his gut.

"JJ," he began tentatively. "I need you to do one more thing for me."

She looked up at him with sparkling eyes. "What's that?" She was frowning, already knowing she wasn't going to like what he had to say.

"Stay with Will, for now."

"What? No. No way, Aaron," she protested. "I _can't_ do that."

He put his hands up in an attempt to placate her. "I know. Trust me, I hate even saying it. But… just think about it, JJ. The less changes in our lives the better. If Foyet's watching… I don't know… he might get suspicious if you leave Will."

"I don't know…"

"I'm not asking you to rekindle your relationship with him. _God, no_," he replied. "I'm just asking you to continue as you have been for a little while longer…"

"This is ridiculous, Hotch," she stated incredulously.

"I know."

After a moment, she blew out a sigh. "I'm not going to say yes right now. I'm not convinced staying with Will is necessary. Let me think about it for a bit, all right?"

He nodded. That's all he could do, ask.

Hotch reached for her then, pulling her close, just wanting to hold her for a few moments more.

"All right," he said with finality. "I guess it's time to go home…"

He didn't move a muscle, neither did she. The minute they left this office, things would be over between them for a good while.

The next thing he knew JJ was tilting her head upwards, finding his lips, kissing him hungrily.

"I love you, Aaron," she said, breathlessly, against his lips.

"I love you, too."

And then she was gone.

* * *

Well that's it for now. Not sure I liked how this one turned out. It feels kind of piece-y to me, doesn't flow as well as previous chapters. Don't know what to do about that right now, so I'll leave it as is until I get any ideas.

I hope to have the next chapter out real soon, since I already have an idea of what it will contain, but we'll see.

Thanks to everyone who's been reading and alerting this fic, and thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review: **whimsical-one-ga **_(… and here comes an obstacle. Lol. Hope you enjoyed!);_ **Graveygraves** _(Thanks! Stay tuned for some Hailey drama next chapter);_ **rubberducky96; ReadingRed **_(Foyet conclusion to come next chapter, for sure)_; **spyagent001** _(sorry for more angst… Thanks for reading!);_ **jekkah** _(not in the near future, nope. How's your stomach doing now? lol);_ **ali2005** (_I'm glad you like, thanks!);_ **CrimeFan23; and beaglelover719 **_(so, I guess this chapter would count as things blowing up in JJ's face, not how you thought it would go, though, right? As of right now, it's Will's name on the birth certificate. Thanks for reading!)_

Thanks again for reading!


	11. 2009, Part 4

**A/N:** Yikes, it's been awhile since I last updated. Oops. Writer's block hit me again, story of my life. Anyways… got a longish chapter for you, it deals with the goings on of the season 4 finale and the season 5 premiere. I really wanted to get all the way to the episode 100, but that isn't happening, next chapter for sure. So, I hope you enjoy. The first part of this chapter is definitely rated M.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Chapter 10:**

* * *

_**~ May, 2009 ~**_

JJ knocked on the hotel room door, shifting from foot to foot anxiously, hoping it would open and soon. She looked from one end of the dimly lit hallway to the other; no one was in sight, thank goodness. It was the middle of the night and she was standing there in her thin night shirt, a cardigan thrown over her shoulders for warmth, but she didn't care about the time. She was badly shaken and in major need of reassurance and there was only one man in the world that could do that for her.

The Canadian case was probably one of the most horrific she'd ever seen. It had rocked her to the core… so much senseless death and in the end there was no one really to pay for it. That had been taken out of their hands. Instead, a good man was probably going to jail, a little town would be forever changed, and she and her friends were once again shaken up and scarred for life.

She just wanted to get those images of all of it—those shoes, the pigs, the horrified faces of the families—off her face. Short of her son, Hotch was the person to help her with that.

She was nervous as she continued to stand there; they had not been alone together in months. And short of the conversation they had during the anthrax scare, she'd kept her distance. JJ wondered if he would turn her away tonight like he should, or if he, too, was in need of some comfort.

When the door opened a second later, she was momentarily blinded by the bright light from inside the room. Hotch saw her before she saw him.

"JJ?" he said worriedly. "What's wrong?"

Her eyes adjusted and she saw he was in nothing but his boxer shorts. The smoothness of his chest exposed in all its glory. Unconsciously, her eyes ran over it, while she silently thought, oh how she ached to run her fingers all over him.

"Can I come in?" she asked abruptly, meeting his eyes only after the question was asked.

She saw the caution in his dark eyes, the worry for her as he ran his gaze over her body, the quick flick of his eyes down the hallway to either side of them. In that moment, she was sure he was going to turn her away. But, a second later, he gestured with his hand for her to come inside. She shot him a nervous look before walking right past him.

He shut the door behind them and only then did he voice his concern. "JJ, you shouldn't have come."

Turning to face him, she was ready to plead her case, but the look she found on his face was one of tender affection. He wasn't about to force her away.

For the past couple of months, they'd been nothing but colleagues. Sometimes, it was hard to read his love for her from his demeanor. He was so good at being aloof, unsurprisingly, that she'd often had moments of doubt. Now she was ashamed by her thoughts. It was so clear to her right then that he loved her; she'd never doubt him again.

JJ took a couple steps towards him and he instantly held his arms open for her. He held her close, hugging her tight. JJ buried her face into his bare chest, inhaling his crisp scent. God, she'd missed him. His hands moved up her back to run through her blonde strands soothingly.

"I've missed you," he murmured into her hair. "Tell me everything I've missed…"

JJ ran her lips across his chest, peppering him with kisses. "Later… first… I need to… touch you…"

Her lips moved from his chest, up along his neck, up to where they were finally within reach of his own. She allowed him to take over, kissing her hard and rough; feeling her, as if he couldn't believe she was there before him. Of course, she hadn't exactly had this type of comfort in mind when she'd come over, but having not been together in so long, this was sort of inevitable.

"We shouldn't be doing this, JJ," he murmured against her lips.

She kissed his lips once, twice, before replying, "We're in Canada…"

That seemed to be good enough for him, considering a moment later he was dragging her back to him, holding her possessively as he guided them towards his bed.

His large, strong hands at her shoulders pulled down the thin cardigan, dropping it to the floor. Things became even more heated then as Hotch stepped away from her, only to help her out of her night shirt.

In nothing but a thin pair of panties, he pushed her down onto the bed before coming over her to straddle her body. The flimsy scraps of fabric they were both wearing did nothing to hide the fact that each wanted the other badly.

JJ reached her arms around his back, pressing her palms into his heated flesh, urging him to come closer. Instead, he took both her hands in his and held them above her head as he lowered his lips over a bare breast. Sucking a nipple into his mouth, she cried out at the hot touch, aching for him as she arched off the bed. It had been way too long since she'd been touched by him. Every single nerve in her body sang for him, called out to him. And he was more than answering her pleas.

He let go of her hands so he could instead trail open mouthed kisses down the length of her body, across her breasts, down the valley between them, along the planes of her flat belly. She let her fingers run through his crisp hair, just wanting to feel him close.

He sat up abruptly, straddling her legs, before eyeing her hungrily. She returned the look, more than eager for what she knew was to come.

Fingers hooked either side of the thin band of her underwear, pulling them down to expose her to him. She sat up, helping to kick off the material, as Hotch went to the edge of the bed. Before she really knew what he was doing, he'd grabbed hold of her ankles, pulling her closer to the edge as well.

Her eyes met his wildly as she recognized just what was about to happen. He held one ankle to the side, opening her to him for him to take in. JJ leaned back on her arms, waiting for the ultimate intimate kiss. Her eyes held his as his head dipped in between her legs; when she felt the tip of his tongue slide against her wetness, her eyes squeezed shut at the intense pleasure a simple touch could give her.

One knee up, one leg held out, she was at his mercy. So when his lips closed around her clit, she cried out, "Oh… fuck…Aaron…" He didn't stop there.

Seemingly determined to make her come right then, along with the ministrations of his tongue, he added a finger to the mix, pushing into her slowly, eliciting a long moan from her lips.

Slow is not how things remained, Hotch set a frantic pace, fucking her with both his mouth and fingers. JJ reached for him, for the bed, anything to take hold of before she fell completely over the edge.

"Oh God… oh God…" she groaned out, roughly grabbing hold of his head, holding him in place.

"Yes, that's it, sweetheart… let go, come for me," she heard him murmur from between her legs.

And she so wanted to heed his words, but it had been so long for them and time was short. She didn't want this moment to be just about her. When she let go, she wanted him to be falling right alongside her.

"Aaron…" she murmured. "I need you."

He moved so quickly, one minute his head was working away at her center, the next he was leaning over top of her. Dark eyes found hers, holding her in place for a moment. In them, she saw everything: his love for her, worry for her and Henry, his hopes for the future, his fears. She wrapped her arms around his body, bringing his lips down to meet hers, determined to kiss away his fear.

She felt him between her legs, hard and ready; one hand gliding along his smooth back, the other reached between their bodies, reaching for him. Her hand moved up and down him, causing him to gasp out her name.

"JJ…"

She laughed happily, glad that he still reacted to her touch. Glad he still wanted her after months of being apart. Ending his happy torture, she guided his cock to her entrance, and he slid in with one quick, fluid thrust.

He pushed into her again and again, going slow then fast; rough and hard, then gentle and soft. She gripped his shoulders tightly as he fucked her.

"Yes… yes…" she moaned out unconsciously, feeling sparks build in the pit of her belly. She wasn't far off and neither was he.

Pushing into her once, twice more he came hard, groaning out, "God, I love you."

Still moving inside her as he continued to come, JJ felt her walls spasm around him a second later, as she came just as hard.

He moved off of her then, moving to lie on his back, panting for breath. She leaned up on an elbow to glance down at him, seeing him staring straight at the ceiling. Without moving, his eyes found hers and he smiled. She loved it when he smiled, it gave him a carefree air for that moment and she loved that she was the one to give him that moment of peace.

"I missed you," she murmured before leaning down to kiss him. It was a short kiss, pulling back quickly.

His hand came up to brush through her loose blonde strands before letting his fingers caress her cheek. She savored his touch before taking over once again.

Kissing his lips, his neck, his chest… She straddled his body for better reach. But, soon she felt his cock at the ready. Wasting no time, she lowered herself over him, this time taking her turn to fuck him hard.

Minutes later, breathing hard, JJ lay forward against his chest, letting him engulf her in his arms. She let out a sad sigh.

"I don't know if I can leave this bed anytime soon," she confessed.

His own sigh matched hers. "Trust me, I don't want you to."

She heard the unspoken 'but' in his voice. She pulled out of his arms, sitting up in bed, wincing at how awful it felt to part from him. "But," she said it, "I have to."

JJ quickly grabbed at her clothes, dressing as Hotch sat up in the bed behind her.

"JJ…"

The tone of his voice caused her to look back at him sharply. There was something different about it, something she'd never heard in his voice before. _Defeat?_

"I want you to know… I don't expect you to wait for me forever…" he started, looking away from her, not meeting her eyes. "We may never catch Foyet and—"

She reached across the bed, putting a finger to his lips. "Shut up, Aaron. Just… no," she said harshly. He gave her a bemused look. "I waited for you for five years, I can wait a whole lot more… forever, if that's what it takes. I won't lose you, now… now that I have you. I love you."

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him. He kissed her sweetly.

"I love you, too."

She smiled, standing up then. "We'll find Foyet and then you, Jack, Henry and I can be a family. Ok?"

He chuckled. "Ok," he gave in. "How is Henry?"

They spent a few more precious minutes discussing their son, knowing they were probably pushing the limits on this visit. And then JJ was out the door. Leaving with a content, hopeful feeling, just what she'd sought him out for. Reassurance that the world that they lived in still had beauty and happiness.

She had a good feeling about what was to come for them.

* * *

JJ measured her steps as she walked the white hallways of St. Sebastian hospital. She had to consciously control her breathing for fear of letting go and hyperventilating. She just couldn't believe what was going on and she still had no clue what she'd find when they arrived at their destination.

Morgan and Rossi were to her left and right but neither of them was saying a word, both worried just like her. Except she was far more than just worried, she was verging on hysterical. _What if… what if…_ She shook her head; no, she wouldn't let herself think like that. If she did, she'd break down there and then.

She couldn't believe that just last night they'd made love, reaffirming their commitment to each other, even through this difficult time. Now, this difficult time may have caught up to them.

She should have known when she'd woken up early that morning, after arriving home just an hour prior, that the bad feeling in her stomach would catch up with her. Somehow, she'd known that the dread she felt had nothing to do with the case they'd just been called into—two victims dead, and a death threat against a prominent doctor's son.

No, Hotch, it turned out, was the reason for the fearful feeling.

JJ had hated not being able to seek him out personally, to find out what was up when he didn't answer her numerous phone calls. And now, to know that it was Emily sitting by his bedside this entire time instead of her, it hurt her to not be there for him, all because of his misguided sense of protecting her.

_Oh God…_ At the last second she contained her gasp of horror as they approached Hotch's hospital room. She could see, even from this distance, that he was lying prone on the bed, machines hooked to him. Keeping him alive? She didn't know.

Emily met them just outside the room, blocking her from him. She had the urge to push her aside and rush to his bedside. Tears were already threatening to fall.

"He still isn't conscious yet," Emily informed them.

"You sure it was Foyet?" Rossi questioned.

"He had Morgan's credentials," she explained.

JJ only heard one word of their conversation: Foyet. So, they had been right to be worried, he was coming after him. _Damn it…_ she could have lost him and she hadn't been there to help.

"It doesn't make sense for him to have brought Hotch to the ER," JJ said, noting how her voice sounded hoarse. She wasn't doing a good job at hiding her emotions, but at the moment she didn't much care.

"We know Foyet gets off on power and control," Rossi reminded her gently. "Maybe what he wants is for Hotch to know that his life was in his hands."

JJ nodded her head. _Power and control, right…_ but still, something wasn't sitting well with her.

"He could do that without risking the hospital," Morgan voiced her fears for her.

No, he was after something else, JJ knew.

It was just then that a nurse informed them that he was waking up.

* * *

Hotch attempted to open his eyes, unsure of why they felt so heavy and weighted. It hurt to breathe in deeply, so he took shallow, short breaths. What was going on? What happened? Where was he?

He remembered… being with JJ, the short flight home… parting at the airport, and then… nothing.

The sound of footsteps drew him out of his silent contemplation. There was someone in the room… a hospital room? There was a lot of beeping. Without opening his eyes, he said, "Where am I?"

"In the hospital," he heard Dave's voice from his left.

His heavy eyelids fluttered as he took that in. "How'd I get here?"

"Foyet drove you," Morgan answered.

_Dave, Morgan… who else was here? JJ? _Man, he didn't want her to see him like this, didn't want her to be scared.

"Can you remember what happened?" Emily, she was there too.

At her prompt, he remembered coming home, pouring himself a drink, hoping it would dull his senses and let him get to sleep faster. As he was taking a sip, that's when the hairs on the back of his neck started to stand on end. He hadn't been alone.

He remembered struggling briefly with Foyet before he got the upper hand. The last thing he remembered before feeling the slice of a sharp blade was thinking, thank God, he didn't know about JJ and Henry. And hoping that his death would keep Hailey and Jack safe, as well.

Hotch opened his eyes and came face to face with Emily. He still didn't know if JJ was there. But, something else just hit him.

"What'd he take?"

"What do you mean?"

Closing his eyes again—man, he was so tired—he explained, "The Reaper always takes something from his victims, do we know what he took?"

"There was a page missing from your day planner, in the address section in the 'B's,'" Emily let him know.

He opened his eyes to stare at her, she looked confused. But he knew what it meant and it wasn't good. "What'd he leave?" he asked, wishing he could think quicker, speak quicker, something bad could be happening just then and he was hampered down by painkillers.

"I don't know."

"He also leaves something with his victims."

"I looked over your whole apartment, nothing looked out of place," Emily said regretfully.

"Where are my clothes?" he asked.

Emily moved off to grab his bag of things. He lifted his head up to see and came face to face with JJ. She was watching him with such worry and fear on her face, gulping down her emotions. He wished she hadn't seen him like this, looking so vulnerable. He wanted her to know that he'd bounce back from this, that they'd still catch Foyet and he'd continue to protect her. Unfortunately, he couldn't say any of that right then. There were more pressing things to attend to.

Emily handed him an envelope and he pulled out his credentials from the bundle. Opening it up, he found just what he had dreaded, a picture of Hailey and Jack.

Leaning his head back against the pillow, this was exactly what he'd feared the second he'd realized that he'd been left alive. That one of his family members either JJ and Henry or Jack and Hailey were in trouble. It was happening.

"Hailey's maiden name is Brooks," he said slowly. "I always list it in the 'b's' in my personal information in case it fell in the wrong hands."

He looked to JJ again, letting her see that this was why they had to remain apart.

"He knows where they live," he finished.

* * *

JJ watched the others leave the room quickly, making plans on what to do next. She hung back, needing a moment alone with him. Needing to know that he was all right.

"Aaron…" she breathed out from his bedside, tears welling up in her eyes.

His eyes closed, they fluttered open to focus on her before closing again. The doctor had said he'd been heavily drugged. It was hard for him to stay focused right now. "I'm ok…" he practically whispered.

"I should have been there," she said adamantly. She should have never have left him at the airport; she should have gone home with him even if he had protested. If she had, then maybe the two of them could have overpowered Foyet and this would have all been over.

"No," he replied after a moment. He went silent after that and she thought that he may have fallen asleep. But a few seconds later he was speaking again. "No… this is why… we can't be together… not yet. It's not safe, JJ."

She nodded her head. "I know, but—"

He opened his eyes to look at her. "When they go, you need to go with them."

She shook her head furiously, wiping at a falling tear. "No, I want to be here, by your side. I don't want to leave you. He could come back at any moment."

He shook his head, denying her this. "You can't. Emily will stay."

She laughed incredulously, on the verge of letting her worry take over. He put a hand on her arm. "Please, JJ, go with them… make sure they're safe. That Jack's all right… if anything were to happen—"

He gasped, coughing violently.

"JJ?" she heard Dave's voice from behind her.

She shook her head again. "Go," he urged.

She eyed him unhappily. Not knowing how he could ask this of her and knowing why at the same time. He wanted her to help protect his family.

She would. Taking a millisecond to compose herself, she turned to leave, passing a worried Emily on the way out.

Dave was waiting for her; he put a hand to her back guiding her out of the hospital. "He'll be all right, JJ…"

* * *

They were safe. JJ was thankful for that. As much as she disliked Hailey, she didn't wish any ill-will to befall her. They had found her alone in the house, doing laundry; they'd scared the living daylights out of her, but she was alive and well.

When she'd asked about Aaron, JJ's jealously reared its head for a moment. She had a brief lapse where she wanted to ask her why she would care. But that was ridiculous, she'd care, if only because he was the father of her child.

Thankfully, she'd controlled herself, and after Morgan had gone to get Jack, they'd explained some of what was going on to her.

Practically forcing her to start a suitcase, they explained that she'd have to go into protective custody now, for sure.

"Is this really necessary?" Hailey asked Rossi.

"I'm afraid so," he answered.

That's when Hailey turned her gaze on her. JJ knew what she wanted to ask. What about her? Would JJ be hiding as well? Though she suspected Rossi knew some of what was going on between her and Aaron, she didn't know how much. So she gave Hailey a slight shake of her head. Silently asking her to leave it be for now.

Luckily, she heeded her words. "For how long?" she demanded.

"I don't know," he offered when JJ couldn't get any words out.

That was something the two blondes had in common. Neither of them knew when their lives could go back to normal. JJ felt Hailey's pain.

"Mommy!" Jack's voice suddenly exclaimed.

JJ breathed out a sigh of relief to hear that he was the same happy toddler he'd been before. This hadn't affected him yet.

"They let me turn on the siren!" JJ smiled at the little boy's enthusiasm. He was such a sweetheart.

"I'll help start a bag in Jack's room," she let Hailey know, needing to get out of there.

She walked the hallways of the house that she knew Aaron once shared with the woman in the other room. It was pretty surreal seeing how the man she loved used to live. She found Jack's room easily enough. In the closet was a little suitcase and she set to work. She had the advantage over the others of knowing some of the things the little boy must have.

It was sometime later when Hailey joined her in the room. She looked into the case at the things she'd packed and nodded her head in approval.

"No one knows about you two, do they?" she wanted to know.

JJ nodded her head.

"Is it to protect you?"

"And Henry," she confirmed. When she looked at her quizzically, she explained, "My son." She gave her a pointed look and Hailey's mouth dropped open in surprise and then compassion. JJ knew then that her secret was safe with her.

"What happens next?"

"We do whatever it takes to protect you and Jack," JJ said adamantly. "We need to keep you safe."

"Thank you," Hailey said quickly, genuinely. She tried to wave it off. "No, really, thank you… I don't know if Aaron's told you… but I was willing to do some awful things to him… and I guess to you… I'm sorry."

JJ's mouth formed a surprised 'o'. Nope, he had not told her. Another thing he was trying to protect her from, she guessed.

"That doesn't matter now," she assured. "We need to keep you safe."

"JJ's right," came Rossi's voice from the doorway.

She looked up to see him standing there, looking on them knowingly. He'd heard everything, of course.

"We need to go, now."

"All right…" Hailey said shakily. She looked around the little room as if trying to commit it to memory. "Uh…" she started hesitantly. "Can I… can I see Aaron, before we decide anything?"

"Sure," Rossi agreed.

JJ knew that Hotch would feel better seeing them both safe with his own eyes. She followed the pair out the door, relief running through her core. They were safe; she followed them out, calling Will on her phone. She needed to double check on her own son now.

* * *

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Emily asked him.

"I don't know," Hotch lied. "After he stabbed the first time, it all goes blank."

He met her eyes and he knew that she knew he wasn't telling the full truth. He was thankful she didn't press him for more. He needed time to process everything.

Hailey suddenly appeared through the glass. She was coming to see him. He looked down unsure of how he could face her. This was his worst nightmare coming to life. This was one of the reasons why she'd asked him to quit his job. And now, even after getting divorced, his life was still turning hers upside down.

"How do you feel?" she asked, surprising him.

"I'm going to be ok," he assured her.

They talked about what would happen next and why it was happening, she wanted to know if they were in danger and if he would be safe.

"He wants to see me suffer, knowing that my son is out there and that I can't see him is better than killing me," he explained. Hailey didn't know it but he was talking about both his sons.

They continued talking until she suggested seeing Jack. He didn't want to at first. He didn't want his little boy to see him like this. He didn't want to scare Jack. But, what if this was the last time he'd see him?

It was sometime later when they'd left that JJ suddenly appeared at his side.

"Hey," she said, smiling down at him.

"Hi," he replied, grimacing because he was about to push her away.

"Hailey and Jack are gone," she let him know. "They're safe."

He nodded his head, knowing that until Foyet was gone or locked up that they'd never really be all right. But he appreciated her attempt at comforting him.

"Spence is going to be fine, too," she continued. "He won't be walking on that leg anytime soon, but he's going to live—"

"JJ," he cut her off.

"No, Aaron, just… let me have this moment," she replied incredulously.

He stopped talking as tears started to fall down her lovely face. Everyone was gone now and she could let herself show emotion.

"I was so scared…" she breathed out, gasping for breath. "I could have lost you. Oh God… what if I had… what if I do, still!"

He reached a hand to cup her face, using his thumb to wipe away her tears. "I'm here; you won't lose me," he said, the words falling short. They both knew that wasn't a guarantee.

"Let me be with you, I can help protect you…" she cried out.

"JJ, sweetheart," he said softly. "There is nothing more that I want than for you to be by my side… but we can't do that, not if we want to protect Henry…"

She nodded resolutely, wiping at her eyes, trying to calm herself down. Sniffling, she said, "You're right, I'm sorry."

She had nothing to apologize for. He was the one who needed to be sorry. He was the one who'd brought this on them.

"You need to go," he said after a weighty silence.

JJ's blue eyes shined at him in disbelief. He didn't want to do this, but he had to.

"He could be watching right now, JJ."

Taking in a deep breath, she whirled around on her heel, but hesitated. "Can I come see you tomorrow?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Don't, please." Her mouth dropped open in surprise. "We need to maintain the image of us just being colleagues… I'll um… see you when I go back to work."

She let out a heaving sob, covering her face, clearly in pain. His own heart was breaking inside, too. He couldn't be with her and he couldn't stop hurting her either, it seemed.

JJ rushed out of the hospital room, and he had to wonder how much more of this she could really take before she _did_ move on with her life.

* * *

Well that's it for this chapter. I really hope you enjoy. I hope to have the conclusion of the Foyet stuff coming up in the next chapter. And hopefully I'll have that up soon.

Anyways, just wanted to say thanks to everyone who's sticking with this story despite my crappy updating skills.

Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed: **AmyDSC; Graveygraves; jekkah** _(I'm sure this one didn't help the stomach either); _**ReadingRed** _(that will happen soonish, I think);_ **MarkandLexiefan; Wren Calhoun; beaglelover719; Ylstacey; and CrimStudent47.**

Let me know what you think! Thanks.


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